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Recently, we have felt these shifts at an emotional and mental level, but our bodies are moving through these challenges with us as well. When working with my clients and asking how they’re doing, the two words that come up most frequently right now are: stressed and tired. The long-term effects of stress can be extremely depleting for our bodies and our energy levels.
This information is for educational purposes only, please do your own research before incorporating new herbs into your life. Consult with your healthcare practitioner first, especially if you are pregnant, nursing, or taking any medications.
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Fortunately, there is a whole class of herbs that are able to assist us in times like this! These herbs are called adaptogens. To be considered an adaptogen, an herb has to meet three criteria: it must be relatively non-harmful (meaning minimal potential side effects), it must help the body to resist stress, and it must have a normalizing effect on the body’s regulatory systems. Many adaptogens also have other associated potential benefits, but meeting those three criteria is the main benchmark.
A few examples of adaptogens, some of which you may have come across before, are ashwagandha, ginseng, rhodiola, holy basil, eleuthero, cordyceps mushroom, and schisandra. One note about ginseng is that it has been overharvested to the point where United Plant Savers lists it as an at-risk plant. Fortunately, there are so many others to choose from! Today I’ll focus on two of my current favorite adaptogens to work with: holy basil and schisandra.
Photo by Holy basil, also often called tulsi, makes a lovely cup of tea and can also be worked with as a tincture or even in your cooking. It has a spicier, peppery flavor compared to the sweet basils we are used to in pestos, and I love to add it to stir fries or soups. It’s easy to grow and has beautiful purple flowers that the pollinators in your garden will thank you for. Besides being an adaptogen, I have also found holy basil to be a great plant ally to turn to when I’m feeling a bit blue and need a boost. It always has a light, uplifting effect on my mood. It’s also helpful for digestive troubles, and pairs well with other herbs such as lemon balm and ginger to settle one’s stomach.
Schisandra’s berries can be chewed and eaten as is (herbalist Katja Swift talks about eating ten berries per day for one hundred days as she feels schisandra helps her cope with her sugar cravings) or they make a yummy addition to your herbal tea blend. Another fun way to bring schisandra into your life is by infusing a few ounces of the dried berries into a bottle of wine for a week or two, then strain out and enjoy. This is best done with a sweeter wine to complement the sourness of the berries.
If you’re interested in diving deeper into this topic, David Winston’s book Adaptogens: Herbs for Strength, Stamina, and Stress Relief is an excellent resource. And perhaps you can enjoy a delicious cup of holy basil tea as you read!
About the Author
Sara Schuster is a community herbalist and medicinal herb farmer. You can find her classes, podcasts, and herbal products at FoxandElder.com.
After months in track pants and tees, do you even know what color dress, neck tie or hair highlights would work for you?
Here's how Lexi can help.
Lexi provides premier color and style analysis services to men, women, and children of all ages to find what makes them look and feel their best selves.
Lexi educates hundreds of locals every year with their perfect colors and styles, providing confidence and insight on what to shop for in the future.
Here's how it works:
Our Journey through the House of Color Process-Meghan Tinker from House of Color youtu.be
During her style development consultation, Lexi shows you how to create an easy wardrobe specific to your body type and personality, providing confidence with what you wear everyday.
With color analysis appointments, Lexi walks through seasonal color palettes to determine which colors look best with you, and give you the natural glow with your skin, eyes, and hair. Once your colors are discovered, she shows you a 90 second makeup look and your "WOW colors", the colors that make you feel like the best version of yourself.
"At House of Colour we enhance your natural beauty by discovering your best colors using precision-dyed drapes and natural light. Each person is unique and falls into one of the four seasonal categories: Winter, Spring, Summer, or Autumn," says Lexi.
Lexi Morrison
You can even try it at home and see if Lexi's color pointers work for you:
Lexi's Tips For Brightening Up Your Winter Self
- Winter is a “cool” season, meaning your skin undertone is blue-based.
- You look best in colors that are clear, bright, vivid, or icy.
- Did you know? Winters are the only season that folks can wear black and it helps give you a natural glow! Black clothing, black eye makeup, etc.
- Winter colors are saturated and contrasting. They do well in jewel tones as well as icy, pale colors. When you dress, Winters look best with a light color, a dark color, and a bright color from their spectrum. This is to achieve that “high-contrast” look that is so flattering on them.
- For hair color, Winters also look best with contrasting colors. Black, white, gray/silver, ashy blonds, or cool browns. They do best to avoid golden, auburn, or other warm tones in their hair.
- For jewelry and accessories, Winters can wear white pearls, silver, platinum, white gold, or gunmetal.
I have clients who tell me that it’s painful for them to walk down the street and see all those happy LGBT (or straight) couples.
“It makes me feel so lonely and unwanted,” they say. When you’re single, and people around you “appear” (and I use that word deliberately) to be much happier than you - so in love, arm-in-arm with their gorgeous partner - it’s tough not to compare your lonesome, solitary self and feel you’re lacking.
Feeling alone and unloved is common to us all, coupled or not. If you live the Hallmark card life - you have a wonderful, perfect partner and the two of you regularly enjoy sunsets on the beach and great sex by the fireplace, followed by hours of hugging and kissing – then this column is not for you.
Photo by For the rest of us, who live in a place called Reality, feeling alone and isolated is all-too-common. The remedy? Self-love.
Even if you’re in a relatively happy couple, you know that most of your married life isn’t like a Hallmark card. But after seeing all those media images of happy, perfect couples, you may think there’s something wrong with your relationship and wonder: “Why are my partner and I living a life with romantic moments few and far between, not to mention the ongoing boredom of paying bills, buying dog food and just getting through the day without killing each other?"
If you’re single, you may feel even worse, asking yourself: “Why am I alone? Am I a total loser, spending yet another Saturday night alone? What’s wrong with me?”
The common theme here is, “What’s wrong with me?” The good news is: there’s nothing wrong with you. The bad news is: It’s harder than hell to love yourself when your expectations are crazy-high.
How did our expectations get so unrealistic? In some ways, it’s all about selling things. Businesses sell us things by creating idealized ideas of how life should be. The end result of buying these media images hook-line-and-sinker is that we feel we’re doing our relationships all wrong.
We need an antidote to this “poison” of media-induced craziness. We need self-love.
Want to improve your self-love? Start by being aware of the things you say to yourself about love, romance and relationships. Notice if you’re critical or harsh to yourself. Many of us have such tough inner critics that when we make a mistake in the relationship department, this inner voice beats up on us, saying things like, "You are so stupid” or “You’re such a loser; who would want you?”
The next time you are disappointed in yourself, try a little cognitive therapy: replace your negative self-messages with neutral or positive ones, like, "I made a mistake. No big deal.” Or “Yeah, I screwed up, but I won’t make this mistake again."
For you lucky folks in contented relationships, ponder this question: Should you love yourself more than your partner, your children and/or your friends? Should you put your love for yourself before your love for them?
I believe that while love for others is extremely important, self-love must come first. Are you cringing right now? Does this feel too “New Age-y” for you? Self-love has become a cliché; yet so many of us in the GLBT community are Masters of People Pleasing: we put the needs of others before our own. This is the essence of co-dependency – pleasing others first, putting ourselves last.
Photo by Derick McKinney on Unsplash
Self-love isn’t narcissism. Being in service and giving back to our community is important, but even hard core 'people pleasers' can see that when you love yourself, you can more easily give love to others. Self-love is a powerful gift of kindness, compassion and appreciation that you give to yourself. Even if you don’t have a friend in the world right now, you can give yourself the gift of self-love and know that you deserve it.
Ready to ratchet up your self-love? Try this exercise: Get up off the sofa, put down the remote, and stand in front of a mirror. Look yourself in the eyes. Take three deep breaths. Ask yourself (out loud): “What can I do for you today?” or “What do you need today?”
Don’t be surprised if you start to cry. Many of us aren’t used to being in touch with what we need; it can be an emotional moment. Now listen to the answers you get: this is the real you speaking. If you’ve been out of touch with yourself lately, your answers may surprise you.
You may expect to hear, “Go to the gym and don’t eat all that junk food” but what you actually get is, “Be kind to me today, let’s go out and walk around somewhere pretty and then have a nice lunch and a glass of wine.”
I invite you to make this whole month about self-love. It’s hard to love your partner if you hate yourself. If you have a partner, by all means, shower him or her with affection…as long as you shower yourself with affection first. You’ll have more love to give your partner if you’re already feeling it for yourself.
If you’re single, resist the temptation to beat yourself up because you have no hot date for the weekend. Instead, try the mirror exercise and see what your “inner” lover would like. Whether you have a 25-year-relationship or you’re new in town and know nobody, give yourself a healthy shot of Self-Love and see what happens.
DRAWING AND PAINTING
All experts agree that creating art is a great way to de-stress. You can paint the sunset after work, let your deepest desires come to the surface and even try your hand at some artful nudes. Your partner can model if you want to turn this into a couple’s hobby.
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SEWING
Never have anything to wear? Why not try making something new for yourself? This creative hobby is suitable for all fashion gays who love to look unique. Plus, getting immersed into all the patterns, materials and fits will definitely give you time to relax and unwind. Soon you’ll be grounded while also dripping in style.
DRAG
Sure, not all gays are into drag and makeup, but no matter if you’re a huge fan of RuPaul’s Drag Race or can’t stand the drama of the show, transforming into fierce queen can do wonders for your anxiety and stress. Drag is a lifestyle for many, but it can also be a great way to let loose and have many laughs. And the process of putting on makeup, hair and clothes is therapeutic in itself.
GARDENING
Join thousands of plant gays all over the world and consider becoming a plant dad. Gardening will not only turn your place into an aesthetic oasis but also allow you to relax, have a sense of purpose and enjoy many small victories as you watch your leafy babies thrive. Plus, you can have a bunch of fresh produce to add to your diet.
Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash
COOKING
Stop relying on takeout and actually use that pretty kitchen of yours. Cooking is a great way to feed your body, take better care of your fitness and save money. Plus, it’s one of the most relaxing, rewarding and delicious hobbies out there. And everyone loves a man who can cook!
ARCHERY
Channel your inner Katniss and try your hand at archery. This hobby with a long history is an intersection of focus, exercise (it packs a great shoulder and back workout) and relaxation. As long as you practice it responsibly, you will get all the benefits and look more than sexy with a bow.
ROCK CLIMBING
If you’re looking for a hobby that will keep you snatched, active and excited, look no further than rock climbing. This hobby requires focus, brain power and a lot of strength, all of which you can practice during your climbing sessions. If you’re not afraid of hard work and heights, climbing will use up all your built-up energy and allow you to feel relaxed and fulfilled.
CYCLING
Is there anything more relaxing than cruising through nature, watching the hills and pastures pass you by and enjoying the wind in your hair? You can get all of that on your bike. Cycling is healthy, relaxing and suitable for all fitness levels. Plus you can do it with your partner or use it as an excuse to hang out with new people as you work towards those chiseled legs.
Any stressed gay will love these hobbies, especially since they don’t require a ton of money or time. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by monotony or sick of hanging out in your local bar, do something new and healthy and relieve stress while improving yourself.