Why hello you beautiful people! I’m Tox Josh, Aesthetic Registered Nurse & Gay Boy Extraordinaire! Yours truly from Nashville, TN! I am one of the Top 100 Injectors in America and my motto is let me transform your face while your heart learns something! But trust me, this isn’t your normal, everyday, boring, over done article you are used to seeing. I’m known for spilling the tea on all the things huntea, not just beauty, that is sure to make you laugh all the while inspiring the heck up out of you!
So, you are at home and wanna feel like a million bucks?! Don’t we all! Well, here’s the Gospel according to TJ! And no these are not the answers you are going to find in Allure or Elle...we about to get real!
Photo by Hydrate
Bitch I know you boys are thirsty – I can bet if most of you checked your DMs right now that would be confirmation enough that the men in this city aren’t getting enough water...well something! ;-)
The human body is up to 60% water, yet we are walking around dehydrated as all get out, not giving the body what its mostly made up of! So, one of the easiest ways to feel a ton better is hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Communicate
I know it’s hard to communicate sometimes but remove those boundaries girl – from here on out you are free to express yourself in the same way our girl Britney Spears does when she opens up her TikTok app! And make sure that communication you do in the mirror to yourself while getting ready or slaying that face for a fun night out is 100% positive! We have people tearing us apart all the time, don’t let yourself be one of them!
Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash
Ritual Bath
Take a weekly ritual bath and let us all wash away the toxic gay culture in this city ... you read, I said it...you know it’s the truth.... but maybe another column at another time for that topic. Running a bath in itself can be relaxing AF. Throw in some skin softening bath milk, Epsom salt, a bath bomb from Lush, or some essential oils, and you have a concoction for a better you! Girls, just be careful...your Pink Flower is pH sensitive, and you want to use lady part friendly materials in your bath water so She doesn’t get upset!
Photo by De-Clutter
We all know we have that one drawer or cabinet in our lives that is like that toxic boy/girl we need to get rid of! Make room for new energy and positivity in your life by de-junking your home! You know that euphoric feeling when your home isn’t a mess! And for the love of God throw out that St. Ives scrub already!
Photo by Safia Shakil on Unsplash
At Home Facial
At home facial? Don’t threaten me with a good time! Taking your boring skincare routine up a notch by giving yourself a facial massage and taking some extra time giving yourself some self-love while applying your skincare is a great way to make you not only glowy AF but feeling ready to conquer your day!
Photo by Binge Watch TV
What’s better than a day in bed, watching shows that give you all the feels, surrounded by carbs and things shaped like baguettes?! Sometimes it is A O K to do absolutely nothing, and turn your mind off, and simply binge watch your favorite show! If it brings you joy, then huntea do it!
Photo by LOGAN WEAVER on Unsplash
Masturbate
Yes. You read that right! Just like your mom used to tell you – no one knows YOU better than YOU! And for reals, we have sooo criminalized and demonized sex and sexuality, especially when it comes to ourselves and self-love and touch that it blows my mind. But I’m here to tell you the only thing wrong with that picture is that you are not blowing your own mind enough sis/bro! So lay down, feel yourself, explore all your fantasies, and explore your body, and have the orgasm OF YOUR LIFE! We all know straight men sure as hell don’t know where the happy button is...might as well touch it yourself! ;)
Now go feel like a million bucks!
Love,
Tox
For more information go to https://www.toxjoshstudios.com and https://www.instagram.com/ToxJosh/
Bisexuality
Rarely are the words, “I’m bi,” heard. Whether on TV, film or even from friends and family, it’s almost nonexistent. Coming out as gay is thought to be brave; a pivotal moment in someone’s life. Coming out as bi, however, is often met with rolled eyes, being viewed as a sexual object, and even with the chant, “Bi now, gay later.” Being bisexual isn’t heralded as brave: it is often treated as if it isn’t even a real thing!
Many well-known blogs have used the purple analogy to explain bisexuality. Purple is known as its own color and not half red, half blue. There are even several shades of purple, some with more red or some with more blue. The same exists in bisexuality, where attraction can be fluid. Some can be hetero- or homo-romantic (meaning that when it comes to establishing romantic relationships they are primarily attracted to members of the opposite sex, or same-sex, respectively) but do enjoy physical, sexual contact with someone of different sex than their partner. Some can be polyamorous and even cohabitate with both sexes. And others decide on their romantic and sexual partners freely, a person to person decision based on what about the individual might tickles their fancy.
Understanding bisexuality
Photo by Isi Parente on UnsplashWhile bisexuality, on the surface, should be welcomed as yet another beautiful way of living—loving hearts and not parts, if you will—bisexuality is often viewed in a not so great light or simply swept under the rug by both the straight and broader lesbian and gay communities.
I asked men and women who identify as bisexual to help us take a look at what it means to be a shade of purple in the big world of pink and blue. It should be noted, and of some concern, that most did not want to be identified by full name, or to use a photograph, in order to avoid judgment from one community, the other, or both, or even because of the risk of losing their jobs and family.
Being Bi
Sorting through the responses to our questions on bisexuality, early feelings of attraction for both sexes was a common theme. Most relate it to the same feelings as straight or gay people face. “I’ve known I was bisexual since I was very little,” Emma Frye stated. “I realized I was not attracted solely to one sex as early as I understood attraction. Most people know they’re straight or gay early in life; I was the same with bisexuality”
Some state that they did not recognize their feelings as bisexual, or perhaps did not know there was a name for it, like Lish Rodriquez: “I didn’t know about bisexuality—I just knew that I liked those people. As I grew older and the media picked up more stories about homosexuality and the AIDS/HIV epidemic, it gave me the word ‘bisexual’ to identify with.”
What comes up also, is the difference in fluidity. The majority of respondents were in an opposite-sex marriage and thus present outwardly to the wider world as heterosexual. Out of those people, many refer to themselves as “swingers.” This is a way for them to explore their bisexuality, with or without their spouses’ involvement, while keeping their marriage and families intact.
Taking the “B” out of “LGBT”
Despite its banner of open acceptance, there is a great deal of questioning in the wider lesbian and gay community about the status of the “B,” and just as some have called for the expulsion of the transgender community from LGBT, others are calling for the removal of the “B”.
One Tumblr blog, “Unpopular Opinions,” states, “I think we should take the B out of LGBT. Bisexuals have it way better than most of us in the queer community. They have straight privilege and ride on the coattails of the gay community.”
Turns out, that just as in the transgender community some agree for very different reasons, some bisexuals likewise argue that this just might be a good idea. Recently a YouTuber known as BisexualRealTalk called for the “B” to be taken out of “LGBT.” He concluded that a bisexual looking for support in the LGBT community was ultimately going to have more questions, be left with a greater sense of uncertainty, and come away with a deeper sense of being alone. “Expectation kills,” he says. “The LGBT community is not our friend”
In fact, a major Canadian study published by the San Francisco Human Rights Commission in 2010 called “Bisexual Invisibility: Impacts and Recommendations,” found bisexual men are 6.3 times more likely, and bisexual women 5.9 times more likely, to report having been suicidal than heterosexual people. Bisexuals are also 3-5 times more likely to feel suicidal than gay men and lesbians.
The majority of those we surveyed also felt discrimination from the LGBT community. Rae Schomburg-Hall states, “I receive scorn from most lesbians as they feel I should ‘pick a side’ and I must just need to ‘make up my mind.’” She feels she is seen as “a confused individual. An oversexed person, just looking for fulfillment. Not to be trusted. An interloper. This, coming from a community that heralds inclusion and acceptance is just…just…wrong.”
Views and Perceptions About Bisexuals
Reading through blogs and articles mentioning bisexuality, it doesn’t take long to find the words "greedy," “whore,” or “slut” being heaped upon bisexuals individually or as a group. The belief that bisexuals, regardless of the evidence, aren’t actually, or can’t be, monogamous is another common attitude.
“There are definitely people who think being bisexual means the exact opposite of monogamous, which is kind of hilarious” answers one of our participants. “I think people's sexuality is so personal, and it varies from person to person. Not all of us sleep with everyone, just because we can, although I have had close friends say that I was a whore or a slut because I dated both ‘sides’ from my pool of friends as a young adult.”
R.J. Aquiar, YouTube’s “NotAdam,” has a series he calls “Ask a Bi Guy,” where he addresses many of the perceptions and attempts to use his personal experience to change the attitudes on bisexuality. In response to our questions, he wrote, “There are still so many people out there who can't accept our identity as valid. They're so adamant about sticking to their existing world view, so they'll look for any reason to dismiss us rather than accept this new information that might require them to change their world view. That doesn't necessarily make them bad people, since it's human nature to do that. And it's even more understandable when you look at how much society enforces that gay/straight binary. Most people would, for instance, refer to a male/male or female/female couple as a ‘gay couple’ rather than a ‘same-sex couple’ while a male/female couple is most often referred to as a ‘straight couple’. If you know what to look for, there's bi-erasure all over the place. This can make it really difficult for a bi person to consider coming out since it means having to face all of that adversity head on.”
Men vs Women
Attitudes men versus women concerning bisexuality certainly differ. It is often said that women have it “easier” being bi. The acceptance of a bisexual woman actually involves oversexualizing her. When a woman says she is bi, many men would jump at what they think is a sure-fire way into a threesome. Very rarely is she viewed as a potential monogamous partner.
And if she comes out to a potential same-sex partner? She is often not taken seriously. There is a fear she will want to return to a heterosexual fantasy of husbands, children, and white picket fences in the suburbs. After all, bisexuals are always viewed as having the potential for passing in straight society as an option. One lesbian told us “I’m scared I’ll be hurt by bisexual women, so I won’t mess with them at all”.
Bisexual men do face a different demon, and because of it, very few men will ever come out as bi. Cooper S Beckett—author of “My Life on the Swingset” and “A Life Less Monogamous”—offers personal insight on this. There is “the immediate assumption that I was gay and kidding myself. I've been told it was a phase as well. Straight men don't like bi men, because they're afraid of another man coming along and treating them the way they've traditionally treated women, as someone you could cajole into doing something. They're worried about being cajoled into ‘gay sex.’ I've been told to my face by a gay man that I'm not bi, I'm just on the road to gay town. It's shocking and sad. But I think acceptance is growing.”
Finding a Tribe
There are plenty of online communities to join. Binetusa.org and shybi.com are places to discuss the unique challenges and obstacles bisexuals face. Bisexual.org has a fantastic library of articles, and discussions, and even lists famous people you might not have known were bi. In your local community, look at meetup.org to find bisexual or bisexual friendly meet-ups.
It is much easier to research within the bisexual community than to look in the LGBT community. It is most important to fight for your rights and support others who are questioning or longing for understanding.
“A lot of LGBT experts call bi people ‘the silent majority', since there are likely a lot more bi people out there who would rather hide than come out and deal with all the stigma,” Aguair writes. “Unfortunately, the only way we can change that is for more bi people to live their lives openly, and demonstrate firsthand how much it doesn't have to be that big a deal. It also illustrates how important it is for bi, pan, and other sexually fluid people to come together and form a community to support one another”
Pam Simmons, who has struggled with her bisexual identity for many years, wrote, "The best advice I could give is to find someone you trust and share what you are feeling, how it is affecting you, your fears & doubts. The journey to identifying as bisexual may be a lifelong process. But that’s ok. You define you…. Nobody else. Be true to yourself. And most of all, love yourself.”