In the third episode the Pfefferman family moved on in their individual lives with mostly disappointments.  But they also revealed more of their characters, especially the three children.  A more complete title for this episode might have been: “We should all be who we are.”

You weird old sad fellow

Surprise! That was a reference to Josh.  It began with him frantically calling his pregnant Glitterish, who is named Kaya, and got no response to repeated calls.  He cornered the other member of Glitterish and demanded to know what was going on.  He was called “you weird old sad fellow.”  Then Josh went to his employer’s office demanding to know if Kaya had him fired.  Yes, and here was the new group for him to manage, “The Drug Mules.”  Lots of yelling, followed by Josh throwing a chair against a window.  The chair fell to the floor after Josh’s very futile attempt to break the window.  “You are fired bro,” said the boss.  Josh then went to Kaya’s house to confront her.   A frustrated Josh tried to explain, “I am trying to do the right thing.”  Kaya rejected that idea and Josh’s increasingly feeble pleas.  Finally Kaya said,  “I already had the abortion.”  Crestfallen Josh was destroyed; he had not been the man in charge in any of this.  He was last seen in the episode lying down going through an old cereal box filled with pictures and love letters from Rita, who promised “eternal love.”  She was apparently the older woman, who was not identified, that he went to earlier for comfort between her ample thighs.  A teenage love affair with the babysitter was his escape hatch from disappointment.

I just want to know what it feels like to be love by someone who is actually moved by love

Maura and Sarah were packing for Maura to move to Shangri-La, her new LGBT paradise.   Maura asked Sarah how long she and Tammy had been messing around.  Sarah confessed, “I am falling in love, you know what that feels like.”  Maura cannot say that she did.  Maura brought up Lynn.  Sarah admitted to not loving Lynn, but “whatever,” she was staying with him.  Sarah was on the phone pleading to hear Tammy’s voice, who was not answering Sarah’s calls.  Sarah arrived home and Lynn was sitting in the kitchen.  Lynn explained he had “a whole hour” for Sarah because he had rearranged his schedule.  Sarah went from pleading wife to strong woman in the conversation that followed.  She suffered from “anxious exhaustion” and being overwhelmed.  Lynn replied, “How can you be overwhelmed, you have help?”  Sarah breathed deeply and began to tell Lynn that when she lived in the coop in college that Tammy slept in Sarah’s bed.  Lynn immediately was ready to call Dr. Schumberg for therapy.  He also told Sarah she was not allowed to leave.  Sarah replied, “I don’t know how not to.”  Sarah, now in her SUV, called Tammy, “I did it.  I left Lynn.”  “Where are you, honey?”  Sarah stopped in front of Barb and Tammy’s house and saw Barb and the kids playing in the happy families screen shot.  Sarah then went to the family home.  Cleaned up an empty bedroom, dragged in an old futon, draped a scarf on the lamp, lit a candle, and felt safer.  Her old room I assumed.  She had been reduced to symbolically returning to the womb and to escape from the disappointments.

A spit roasting epic

Ali talked to her friend Syd.  She was getting “moon rocks” from Syd, easier than E.  Ali wanted to promote a “sex thing.”  A spit roasting where Derek, the trainer, explored her vagina while Mike explored her mouth and then she would rotate on the spit they created.  At Derek’s and Mike’s apartment Ali was ready to get high on the “moon rocks,” pure MDA powder, the love drug.  Later, Ali said, while encouraging the guys to enter from both ends, “I am the vessel for you guys.  You really want to be F-ing each other.”  Mike: “She’s your bitch.”  Derek put her in a cab and Ali continued to ride the high.  “Hope you give me five stars,” said the cabbie as Ali’s world blurred.  Her phone rang, the screen read “daddy.”  She was asked to come over.  Ali replied, “Perfect time, I would love that.”  An escape to drug heaven.

She is not a freak

The episode opened with Maura gently packing her old wedding photos.  “Joshie” had to be the next person to whom she came out.  Sarah was helping with the packing.  She was ok with Maura.  She was even “inspiring,” and “we should all be who we are.”  Then a generational split appeared when Maura wondered who would take the encyclopedias.   Sarah said that nobody in the world wanted them.  Maura pleaded “but these are the bicentennial edition.”  The moving truck arrived.  Josh also arrived for Maura’s coming out to him.  Maura reappeared dressed as Mort.  Josh smelled perfume and stated to his dad, “you have a girl friend.  Are you moving in with her?  By the scent she is 30 years younger than you and a bit of a freak.”  Maura replied, “She is not a freak.”

Flashback to a younger Mort hanging out at the Wild Time Bookstore in the magazine section where she picked up a copy of “Trans Form.”  He was the creepy guy at the bookstore trying not to be noticed.  Next to him stood another man, named Mark.  Mark suggested that Mort get a post office box.  No, his wife did the bills, so no mail subscription.  Mark said, “you could put it inside an Outdoor Living.”  Mort left and got in the car where the very young Ali and Joshie waited in the backseat with Sarah in the front.  Mort had bought the kids candy to cover his tracks.  Back to the present and Maura has moved to the Shangri-La and was talking to Davina.  They discussed how Maura had failed to come out to Josh and agreed that boys were the hardest for a dad to come out to.   Time to come out to Ali, whom Maura called.  She had escaped to herself at Shangri-La, but had lots of coming out to others still to do.

See also:

TRANSPARENT recap: "The Letting Go" (season 1 episode 2)

TRANSPARENT recap: "Rollin'" (season 1 episode 3)

TRANSPARENT recap: "Moppa" (season 1 episode 4)