The Sobering Facts of LGBTQ+ Hookup Violence

I have been an avid user of Grindr, the gay, bi and trans masculine social-networking app, since my 18th birthday. For a closeted kid in Moore, Oklahoma, the only exploration that I could partake in was logging into this app. It was filled with dick pics, among other unsolicited nudes, and a whole new language that I was completely oblivious to. I got trapped in a wormhole of hookup culture that I was not prepared to engage in.

Hookup culture accepts and encourages casual sexual encounters without emotional bonding or commitment and evolves depending upon what identities one might hold. Statistically speaking, gay men participate in American hookup culture more than any other identity, outside of college students (but there, too, gay college men tend to have more sexual partners than any other demographic). Overly sexual TV series such as Queer as Folk and The L Word verged toward stereotypes in their portrayals of the LGBTQ+ community, but they also painted a sobering picture of our connection to casual sex.

Do not get me wrong – casual sex has become the norm in society at large. Bar culture and club culture provide examples that contribute to young adults’ sexual encounters. Researchers may be more focused on the issue now because of the attention paid to sexually transmitted diseases/infections and sexual assault.

The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP) puts together an annual summary of LGBTQ hate violence homicides. The 2017 report, titled “A Crisis of Hate,” included 52 hate violence homicides of LGBTQ people, which was an 86 percent increase in single incident reports from 2016.

The report said: “In 2017, 45 percent of the homicides of queer, bi, or gay cisgender men were related to hookup violence, and most of these were related to hooking up online or through personal ads.”

This includes gay social networks that we know are for no-strings-attached sexual encounters, such as Grindr, Hornet, Scruff and Jack’d, where queer cisgender men can be targeted, identified and harmed. Our community further perpetrates complacency in these instances due to the stigma, shame, and societal pressure in hookup homicides where both individuals involved are queer, bi, or gay men.

As a community, we cannot be complacent any longer about the way queer hookup culture is breeding violence. Sexual violence and domestic violence are steadily growing within the LGBTQ+ community, and we must do something about it before more victims are harmed.

Organizations such as the Kansas City Anti-Violence Project, a queer advocacy agency, offer services and support groups to those who have experienced any kind of violence due to their sexual and/or gender identity, including sexual violence and domestic violence. They also provide training that further explains the ways in which you and/or your organization can be less complacent in situations of violence.

Together, as a community, we can stop hookup violence and the violence at large against the LGBTQ+ community, one real conversation at a time. Let’s end violence together, today.

Photo courtesy of Jose Cuervo

2023 Reserva de la Familia Limited Edition Terceerunquinto

On January 10, 2023, Reserva de la Familia, Jose Cuervo’s ultra-premium collection of artisanal small-batch tequilas and Mexico’s crown jewel, announced its 2023 collector’s box, designed by artists Rolando Flores and Gabriel Cázares of the Mexico-based Tercerunquinto Collective. The piece of custom art, titled “Structuring a Landscape”, features a geometric abstraction of the landscape of Tequila, Mexico and will adorn the 2023 limited-release collector’s box of Reserva de la Familia Extra Añejo.

Since 1995, Jose Cuervo has worked with internationally recognized artists with roots in Mexico to design the box artwork for Reserva de la Familia Extra Añejo. Each box is an authentic collector’s item, with a limited quantity produced annually before a new artist is chosen. Previous artists include Gonzalo Lebrija, Pedro Friedeberg, Carlos Aguirre, Ricardo Pinto and many more. Every artist is selected by a team of art curators including 11th generation Cuervo family member and CEO of Jose Cuervo, Juan Domingo Beckmann, Executive Director of El Museo del Barrio in New York City, Patrick Charpenel and founder of Zona Maco, Mexico’s number one art fair, Zélika García.

Keep reading Show less
Photo courtesy of Velvet Ibiza

Velvet Ibiza

Every year, Ibiza is home to Europe’s very epic queer woman’s party, Velvet Ibiza, which is celebrating its 7th anniversary and promises to be next level. Velvet Ibiza is an all-inclusive 5-day and 5-night party and includes transportation from the airport, a bungalow, 3 meals, and activities and parties day and night, and drinks until around 10:30 pm.

This year, international crowds of LGBTQ+ women will be attending Velvet Ibiza on May 2 - 7 to celebrate life, belonging, and freedom. Event organizers have rented an entire resort in order to build a community vibe and allow queer women to connect so there’s no reason to go anywhere unless of course, you want to go shopping, head to the beach, or explore the island.

Keep reading Show less

Financial Planning for the LGBTQ+ community

The new year has arrived. For many people, that means making resolutions and thinking of ways they can do better in the coming year and beyond. Money management and financial planning are often very popular resolutions and goals, but most financial advice tends to be aimed at heterosexual couples who want to grow their family and raise children.

But, what if your life goals are different? What if you don’t receive the same protection under the current laws as hetero couples?
What if you don’t want to have kids?

Keep reading Show less