Hig Roberts Instagram

Two-Time U.S. Alpine Skiing National Champion Hig Roberts is one of just a few elite-level pro skiers to come out of the closet.


Anouk Patty has a message — “When you’re your true self, you’re your best self every day.”

As the recently named “Chief of Sport” for U.S. Ski & Snowboard — the organization that, in part, represents the United States in competitions like the Olympics, and as an openly gay woman and former member of the team, Patty knows how important that message is.

When she was on the team in the 80s and early 90s she was not out, and for good reason. “Society then was very, very different,” she told OUTvoices in an exclusive interview. “It was not super-accepted to be gay. It was not something people talked about. The sports world was pretty homophobic."

Anouk Patty, Chief of Sport for US Ski & Snowboard.

Anouk Patty, Chief of Sport for US Ski & Snowboard

Photo courtesy of U.S. Ski and Snowboard

But the world is different now than it was. “Everything is different,” she said.

Part of that is because some athletes have taken that giant step to live in their truth in the past few years.

ESPN Magazine cover of Gus Kenworthy.

The cover of ESPN Magazine in which Gus Kenworthy came out of the closet.

Photo courtesy of Gus Kenworthy Twitter

Seven years ago, U.S. Ski & Snowboard team member (and legit heartthrob) Gus Kenworthy, fresh off his Silver Medal in the Sochi Olympics, came out of the closet during an interview with ESPN. As if that wasn’t enough, at the Pyeongchang Olympics in 2018 he shared a smooch with his boyfriend on live television.

Asked what impact that had, Patty didn’t mince words.

“It was pretty monumental when Gus came out,” she said. “He’s super nice, super handsome, really good. He had everything there. When he came out, people really paid attention.”

Patty noted that even though Kenworthy would later compete as part of the U.K. team (his mother is British) Kenworthy is still “beloved” in Park City, where the U.S. team is headquartered. “Gus is phenomenal,” she said. In fact, he’s their unofficial poster boy. Like, really. Patty says there’s a big poster of Kenworthy in the kitchen of the team’s Park City headquarters.

“It’s not just because he’s gay,” Patty said. “It’s because he’s wonderful and he cared and he had a purpose and a cause and he cared about it — and he did something about it.”

It’s an example Patty herself is following.

Since Kenworthy’s coming out, Patty noted, the progress has slowed. There haven’t been many other athletes on the team who have come out and there haven’t been a lot in the other sports, with one major exception.

Higs Roberts

Two-Time US National Alpine Ski Champion Hig Roberts

Photo courtesy of Higs Roberts via Twitter

Two-time U.S. Champion Hig Roberts (another legit heartthrob) became the first elite men’s Alpine skier to come out. Roberts made the revelation at the end of his career in 2020. Roberts’ experience mirrored in many ways Patty’s own a few decades earlier. In an interview with The New York Times, Roberts said “Not being able to be who I am and not be openly gay as a professional athlete was truly hindering my performance.”

Like Kenworthy, Roberts’ purpose to come out was, in part, to send a message to young skiers that they can compete at the highest levels regardless of their sexuality.

“I love this sport more than anything,” he told the Times. “I’m so lucky and privileged to be doing this — but I can’t go on another day not trying to achieve the person that I am meant to be. Which I think for each and every one of us … needs to be happiness and authenticity.”

Roberts’ coming out, according to the Times, added the number of openly gay elite-level skiers to just four. The other two, Anja Pärson, a former Alpine skier from Sweden, came out as lesbian in 2012, and Erik Schinegger wrote a book in 1988 about his experience as a transgender and intersex skier after coming out in 1968.

While the bravery of Kenworthy and Roberts and their predecessors is noteworthy and incredible, Patty says there’s still more work to do before the Team has reached its full potential of being a welcoming place to all athletes of every stripe. She also recognizes the power to effect that kind of change systemically lies with her.

“I have the opportunity to actually make a difference in this specific area,” she said. “I’m working hard to make it a really inclusive, welcoming environment.”

When will that work be done? It’s not easy to say, but Kenworthy and Roberts have helped, to be sure. “We have a Trans athlete on the team now who is a named athlete,” she said. “We’re inching along.” But she’d like to see more.


“When we have a truly inclusive culture where athletes are not only comfortable being their true selves but embrace it and we have some openly gay athletes who can be role models for the next ones, then I’ll feel good about it. We’re not there but we’re taking the first step in creating that environment where we can be there.”

As a sign of how far skiing and snowboarding has not come, earlier this year Italian skiier Sofia Goggia, the 2018 Olympic Gold Medalist in Alpine skiing made a statement that implied gay men weren't cut out for the rigors of the slopes professionally. Goggia, who apparently had never heard of Hig Roberts, had been asked if she thought there were any gay professional skiers. "Among women, yes," she said. "Not for men, I would say." Her reasoning? "You have to throw yourself down the Streif in Kitzbühel."

In subsequent tweets, Goggia would apologize, but not for the statement, only to those who were offended by it.

While Patty's efforts at diversifying the team and the sport are notable and courageous, there may be some blowback, as people like Goggia aren’t accustomed to cultural change, especially in high performance sports.

“It’s not always a smooth ride,” Patty said. “The way you handle the paradoxes you’re presented with define who you are as a leader. I think it’s the same thing for those of us who are openly gay and in leadership positions. I get it, not everyone’s gonna love it. Thats ok with me but it doesn’t stop me.”

Hello my name is sign

There are a lot of changes that happen to trans people over the course of their lifetime, but some of the most difficult or impactful ones can come at the very beginning of their transition. The experience of coming out is a unique one for every person who has to go through it, but it can be a very happy or relieving time as well. Here are just a few examples of the very long list of things that can happen to trans people when they come out.

1. Social Norms Change In Many Ways

Person in white and black floral button up shirt sitting as they are handed a black tie and watch

Society projects expectations of masculinity when you come out as a trans man.

Photo by Joeyy Lee on Unsplash

Whether you come out as a trans (binary) person or nonbinary, you should know that your social norms will change in many ways. The world, especially in western culture, is unfortunately very binary when it comes to gender and aggressively forces these concepts upon anyone. When you come out as transgender, you may begin to notice those around you who are supportive (and sometimes even if they aren’t) will start assigning you roles matching your presenting or identified gender—whether they do this intentionally or subconsciously will vary widely.

For example, noticeable changes for transgender males can look like many of the things that we had previously been exempted from. Shaking hands instead of giving hugs as a greeting, the unspoken rules of the guy code, and a noticeable effort to try to mold into a more culturally masculine role. This is not to say that you should be expected or have to do these things, but it is definitely something that is noticed and almost seems expected after coming out.

2. Confidence Levels Will Boost

After you come out as trans—and especially if you have a sound support system around you—you'll be able to live a more authentic you! As time goes on, you will notice that confidence levels were boosted dramatically due to gender affirmations socially, emotionally, and physically.

This can happen in a lot of ways for transgender men. You may have started to speak up more often, given a new wave of pride and confidence in yourself. This may also be partly because societal norms expect men to have something to say, but it can also just feel more comfortable speaking your mind in front of people and showing them your true self for the first time. For others, this could be manifest in wearing that outfit you thought was daring, or maybe it's walking with your head a little higher because others are seeing you more as you have seen yourself. Whatever it is, own it! You didn’t spend all of that time in the closet for nothing!

3. Mental and Emotional Health Changes Will Occur

Two men hug at club.

Find friends who will support you as you come out as trans.

Photo by Thiago Barletta on Unsplash

One of the very fluid things that happen once you come out is your mental health changes. This one is truly dependent on your unique experience coming out of the closest and the people you have around you. Many transgender people experience A LOT of backlashes; not only from family and friends but from the community legislatures and politicians alike.

But many are able to build a strong support system around themselves or create a new family they truly connect with and feel like they belong in. Doing this will help your mental health in many ways: you no longer have to feel so alone and you do not have to bear all the weight of your coming out experience alone. There were definitely things, people, and situations where your mental health could plummet, and you'll have to rely on others to be strong for you as well as encouraging. Other times you could be so relieved and affirmed because of your coming out that you think nothing could ever stop you from being so happy.

However your coming out experience goes, and no matter the ups and downs that come along with it, always find and lean on those who support you.

4. Awkward Questions Trans People Were Asked

Questions like the following lead to painfully awkward conversations that felt more like interrogations. And yes, these are all real questions that have been asked to transgender people. One thing you should prepare for is all of the absurd, awkward, and straight-up dumb questions people have the gall to ask you. Granted, some of them will be very respectful, such as which pronouns you prefer to use or what name you’d like to be called, but most are pretty ignorant.

  • “Why did they call you she/he/they instead of _____?”
  • “Wait, I thought you were ___ gender?”
  • "What name did you choose?” or “Why did you choose that name?”
  • “What do your parents think of you coming out?”
  • “Wait, so are you lesbian/gay now?”

It is always shocking to get asked these questions when you come out to them, even if they were trying to come from a good place. The thing trans people have to keep in mind is that most cis people haven't spent hours on YouTube scrolling and watching transgender content to understand all the lingo and processes. Hell, many of them have probably never even read about a transgender person or anything related anywhere. They weren't doing such in-depth research to find ourselves in the mess of humanity.

So, keeping this in mind, remember there are going to be a lot of awkward questions as soon as you come out as trans because people are clueless. You may be the first out transgender person people you know have ever met. Many people don’t even know someone who knows an out trans person. It’s a sad reality, but education and experience just aren't reaching the general public.

With that said, it’s not your job to be the educator—whether you will or won't be is your decision—and anyone who makes you feel like you have to is not really there for you. There are plenty of resources that anyone can access, just like you probably did, to learn more about the ins and outs of what it means to be trans. They can put in the effort just as easily as you did. But, if you feel safe and want to engage, educating a friend or family member about your specific situation can be helpful.

5. Inappropriate Questions Trans People Were Asked

brown concrete statue of man facepalming under white sky during daytime

Questions that make us facepalm are as old as time—and they're unfortunately common when you come out as trans.

Photo by Jeremy Bezanger on Unsplash

In addition to all of the awkward things that people are going to ask, you will definitely have someone (or more) around you who has no sense of social boundaries. You’ll also probably have someone around you who thinks that because you’re coming out to them, then they immediately get to know every small, intimate, and personal detail about you. These will be harder to deal with, not just because of the content but because it truly reveals the type of person you are talking to, which can cause problems.

  • “So what’s in your pants?”
  • “How do you have sex?”
  • “When are you going to have surgery?” or “How are you going to have sex after surgery?” or “What are your genitals going to look like?!?”
  • "When do you plan to start hormones?”
  • “So if you’re not a transvestite, what’s the difference?”

Again, these are all very awkward and, this time, inappropriate questions that have actually been asked to transgender people. Again, even if they are well-intentioned, inappropriate questions can and will come with terrible timing. When someone was forced to come out to their mom, she immediately asked them if they were going to stop shaving their pubic hair. Because that’s the most important thing she needed to know at that moment. It is a terrible feeling to be put on the spot and feel like you have to think of an appropriate answer, even when there is none!

The best advice to be given regarding this is to tell someone they are being inappropriate, and it’s not your job to educate or explain why it’s inappropriate either. If they can’t understand why questions like those are inappropriate to ask anyone, not just you, then there is a lot more going wrong on their end that they need to work through. But overall, don’t let the complete idiocy of people get you down when you come out as trans.

Love Yourself and Come Out on Your Terms

While this is not an exhaustive list of all of the experiences and changes that a trans person will be faced with during their coming out, these are a few good things to keep in mind and prepare for when deciding when and how to start to come out as trans. It’s also good to remember that everyone has a completely different and individual perspective on life. That means that some of these things may not be applicable to a trans person during their coming out or that it may be a lot more or less extreme than described. Just remember that you should never be ashamed to be yourself—and make sure to come out when and how it's best for you. Coming out is difficult, so be proud of yourself for starting that journey, even if it's only with yourself right now!

Image Source: Cotton bro at Pexels

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