‘O&AN’ columnist sends message to council candidate

by Joey Hood
Staff Writer

Dear Patrick Gardner,

I realize that a glowing endorsement from an “Out & About Newspaper” columnist could be the death knell for your campaign against divorced State Rep. Debra Maggart.

According to a recent “Out & About” cover story, State Rep. Maggart (R-Hendersonville) expressed righteous indignation at the very thought of two homosexuals getting hitched and adopting children for their fundamentalist agenda of engineering an all-out gay army. (By the way, Mr. Gardner, we project that the army will be in full force come 2020. We hope to have Rosie O’ Donnell barking orders as our master drill sergeant very soon.)

Seeing as how Ms. Maggart is a red-hot divorcee, us fags figured she knew a thing or two about family values. After all, nothing says homespun traditionalist like severing your family ties in the American legal system. Can I get an amen?

You see, Ms. Maggart is as American as peach cobbler with a frosted glass of cider thrown in for good measure.

Mr. Gardner, your opponent received actual scientific data concerning the psychosis of the twisted homosexual mind from the forefather of American patriotism, Mr. James Dobson himself.

The Focus on the Family ringmaster is the author of such fine literature as “Bringing Up Boys,” and rose to the pinnacles of self-help fame in the 1970s by telling fundamentalist parents to spare the rod and beat the living daylights out of their children as their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ would have them do.

On page 120 of his non-fiction tour de force, “Bringing Up Boys,” Mr. Dobson dispenses sound advice to parents of blossoming homosexuals.

“Meanwhile, the boy’s father has to do his part,” Dobson explains. “He needs to mirror and affirm his son’s maleness… He can help his son learn how to catch and throw ball. He can teach his son to pound a wooden peg into a square hole in the pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger.” 

One can only hope that the father-to-son penis measuring was included in Dobson’s report to Ms. Maggart.

Mr. Gardner, if you’re elected representative of House District 45, I resolutely believe that parlor games with propaganda machines such as Focus on the Family will be a thing of the past. The last time I checked, Focus on the Family was based in Colorado Springs, Colo., which is a hop, skip and jump from Hendersonville.

According to your official website (www.patrickgardner.org), you seem to have a firm grasp on the real issues that affect your district. Issues such as health-care reform and equal pay for women deserve our utmost attention, and I encourage you to expound upon these talking points in your upcoming campaign.

And not only are you devilishly handsome, but your website mentions that you are happily married unlike some people we know.

Since I live in the maws in the hell (read: Williamson County), I won’t be voting for you come election time. But I do urge all GLBT persons and fair-minded Tennesseans in District 45 to vigorously contribute to your campaign, hence this letter.

Joey Hood


WhistlePig + Alfa Romeo F1

SHOREHAM, VT (September 13, 2023) — WhistlePig Whiskey, the leaders in independent craft whiskey, and Alfa Romeo F1 Team Stake are waving the checkered flag on a legend-worthy release that’s taking whiskey to G-Force levels. The Limited Edition PiggyBack Legends Series: Alfa Romeo F1 Team Stake Barrel is a high Rye Whiskey selected by the Alfa Romeo F1 Team Stake drivers, with barrels trialed in their wind tunnel to ensure a thrilling taste in every sip.

The third iteration in WhistlePig’s Single Barrel PiggyBack Legends Series, the Alfa Romeo F1 Team Stake Barrel is bottled at 96.77 proof, a nod to Valtteri Bottas’ racing number, 77, and the precision of racing. Inspired by Zhou Guanyu, the first Chinese F1 driver, this Rye Whiskey is finished with lychee and oolong tea. Herbal and floral notes of the oolong tea complement the herbaceous notes of WhistlePig’s signature PiggyBack 100% Rye, rounded out with a juicy tropical fruit finish and a touch of spice.

Keep readingShow less
by Spectrum Medical Care Center

Nurse Practitioner Ari Kravitz

When I started medical transition at 20 years old, it was very difficult to get the care I needed for hormone replacement therapy because there are very few providers trained in starting hormones for trans people, even though it’s very similar to the hormones that we prescribe to women in menopause or cisgender men with low testosterone.

I hope more providers get trained in LGBTQ+ healthcare, so they can support patients along their individual gender journey, and provide the info needed to make informed decisions about their body. I’ve personally seen my trans patients find hope and experience a better quality of life through hormone replacement therapy.

Keep readingShow less

Descanso Resort swimming pool and lounge area

Descanso Resort, Palm Springs' premier destination for gay men, just received Tripadvisor's highest honor, a Travelers' Choice "Best of the Best" award for 2023. Based on guests' reviews and ratings, fewer than 1% of Tripadvisor's 8 million listings around the world receive the coveted "Best of the Best" designation. Descanso ranked 12th in the top 25 small inns and hotels category in the United States. Quite an accomplishment!

Open less than two years, Descanso Resort offers gay men a relaxing and luxurious boutique hotel experience just minutes away from Palm Springs' buzziest restaurants, nightclubs, and shopping. Descanso has quickly established itself as a top destination for sophisticated gay travelers, earning hundreds of 5-star guest reviews and consistently ranking in Trapadvisor's top positions alongside brother properties Santiago Resort and Twin Palms Resort.

Keep readingShow less