In fictional Nashville a fictional boy band called “Blvd” has broken up. How convenient since Rayna desperately needs new acts for her label.

Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan are making a guest appearance on the show because Juliette is a guest on their show. Apparently, her badly-titled Patsy Cline movie, Shenandoah Girl, is the #1 film in the country. But hey, I’d rather see it than Matt Damon’s new flick after some of his recent statements.

Anywho, Creepy (Jeff) is sulking behind the scenes of the Live! with Kelly and Michael show and making excuses on the phone to Layla as to why he can’t be at her label meeting with Bucky and Rayna. On the set of the talk show, they put a photo of Juliette with her husband and baby on the big screen and Juliette has an actual moment of emotion. PLEASE let it be an inkling of guilt. Avery is watching the emotion and, like the rest of the planet, has his doubts about its authenticity.

Can I point out that many celebrities, including country artists, live in Nashville because the public (for the most part) leaves them alone? Well, the first time we see Puke, he is walking through downtown with swarms of fans whooping and hollering at him with his entourage in tow? Let’s be clear: this does not happen unless it’s CMA Music Fest. Puke is talking to one of his people (Gabrielle) who insists that country music isn’t ready for a gay artist and that Puke should drop Will from his label. It seems this chick is some sort of image consultant and doesn’t think small town America is ready for a gay country performer. Then, Puke says something incredibly important- and smart. (I was just as surprised as you were.) “Small town doesn’t always mean small minded.” I never thought this would happen, but… #TEAMPUKE

More bad news for Rayna as an established artist, Wade Cole, who was ready to sign with Highway 65, has backed out last minute. It doesn’t help that Creepy wants Layla to drop the label, too. But Layla wants to stay.

At a photo shoot, Gunnar and Scarlett can barely look at one another, but Scarlett can’t be anywhere for too long. She takes off to head to the hospital. They are taking Beverly’s breathing tube out. Deacon is in the same boat, though. He is spending all of his time at his sister’s bedside. Rayna, Skinny and Deacon all get to Beverly’s bedside in time to greet her.

On the plane back to Nashville, Creepy confronts Juliette about tabloid fodder that she hasn’t been seen around her husband and baby in quite some time. Instead of talking about it, Juliette goes with her favorite coping mechanism. She pours another glass of champagne.

Instead of getting back to Nashville and returning to his troll cave to feast on the hearts of puppies, Jeff instead moseys on over to Avery’s place. Avery threatens to punch him (#TEAMAVERY) and Creepy tells him he is worried about Juliette. Creepy is worried she has gone off the rails. (Ummm, you think?)

At the hospital, Beverly tells Scar Scar (whose hair is fluffy enough to rival a show dog) that she likes Dr. Hottiepants better than… Gunnar? We never hear who. Plus, Bev, we know you just did a good thing for Deacon and all, but you don’t exactly have a history of making praiseworthy decisions.

The Chex Mixes (What I call Skinny and Gunnar’s duo – actually called The Exes) have their publicity photo photoshopped to make it look like they are in one another’s arms. Well, Gunnar isn’t having any of it and calls their manager. Tired of both of their shit, (like any sane human being) their manager, Noah, calls a band meeting. They are in a hurry to get a publicity photo ready (with a 50-date tour coming up) and at the band meeting, Gunnar is put out that Scrawny shows up with Dr. Hottiepants. But Scarlett doesn’t have a problem with the photo, so meeting over.

When Juliette arrives home to an empty house, she does what any new wife and mother does. She invites a bunch of her young, mooching, delinquent friends over for a party. That’s what Avery walks into when he takes the baby with him to talk to her. When she spots them, she throws everyone out. But Avery is already twelve shades of pissed even when Juliette begs him to let her explain. She says she was afraid to talk to him because she doesn’t know how to be a good wife and mother. Well, Juliette, I BELIEVE you also have to be a good human being first.

Maddie and Daphne are performing a song by Blvd at the school talent show in honor of the now-defunct group. As usual, they sound amazing, which gives Rayna an idea… I don’t want to say I told you so, but Rayna immediately puts in a call to Bucky to sign the member of Blvd who wrote the band’s songs. Rayna makes this a priority over attending Layla’s upcoming show at the Bluebird Café. Can we go ahead and change Layla’s name to “Second Fiddle” or “Back Burner?”

In the school bathroom, Daphne overhears a couple of classmates dogging her and Maddie over their father being in jail. One of the little snots even goes as far to speculate that Daphne’s silver necklace was probably stolen.

Back at Juliette’s place, she is putting her baby to bed and she and Avery are having make up kissies. Okay, I am sorry, but if my boyfriend pulled the crap Juliette pulled, there is no way I would EVER speak to him again. Plus, there would probably be some sort of gay mafia hit put out on him. All I am saying is I am connected. Annnnnnyway, Avery gets dumber by the minute. So much so, he attends Juliette’s album release party with the baby in tow. Juliette is all too happy to parade them in front of the press, but she is obviously bothered when Avery suggests to a reporter that he and the baby go on tour with her.

Deacon is still camping out at Beverly’s bedside and she knows he has been there 24/7. She insists he go home to stay with Maddie and Daphne while Rayna leaves down to find the boy band guy. Anyone else secretly hope its Lance Bass? Or anybody but Nick Lachey? Actually, his name is Markus Kean and Rayna just so happens to end up next to him on a flight to New York City where he immediately recognizes her.

Will shows up at Juliette’s album party and immediately finds Puke who is hanging out with Wade Cole and the lovely Pam Tillis. (Yes, the real Pam Tillis.) Wade tells him he was brave for what he did, but afterwards, he jumps on a photographer who is trying to get his photo next to Will. When Juliette hits the stage to do a few ditties from the new album, she dedicates her first song to Avery and Cadence, but the baby is upset and cries loudly through the whole number.

At about 35,000 feet, Rayna learns that Markus is ready to go solo and he was tired of having creative differences with his bandmates. Literal and figurative music to her ears, especially when she suggests he move to country music. It’s going to cost Rayna’s label every last dollar to sign him, but she tells Bucky to make it happen. And he does.

Taking Deacon’s place at the hospital is Scarlett and Beverly has decided to make amends. She tells her daughter she is sorry for not being the mother she needed or deserved. She is glad she lived through the surgery and aneurysm in order to say it to Scarlett. Anybody else see a scene like this happening with Cadence and Juliette in 25 years? Anywho, the mother-daughter chat leads Skinny to call Gunnar and back out of a tour with so many dates.

Speaking of our favorite Mother of the Year, Juliette gets off stage and takes the baby to be changed, but struggles with changing a super poopy diaper. Avery gladly volunteers to take over and urges her to go mingle with the people at the party. Juliette is obviously an uncomfortable fish out of water, which rings true when Avery searches all over for her at the party and she cannot be located. When he returns home, he finds her cell phone in the trash.

At Layla’s Bluebird show, the only familiar face in the crowd is Glenn, Juliette’s old manager and father figure. He is visibly moved by the performance and I am visibly moved by his ability to turn from the dark side. He approaches her (after she talks with Creepy on the phone, where he apologizes for blowing her off AGAIN) and gives her his business card, saying to call if she is ever in need of a manager. Well, she is in need of one with a heart and a soul, so…

Juliette’s new cell phone is given to her by Creepy. On an airplane. One that is leaving Nashville. She asks Jeff if he got all of the red carpet photos he needed of her with the baby and Avery.

After getting Scarlett’s message about the tour, Gun Gun goes to see Dr. Hottiepants because he thinks Caleb is threatened by him. That’s when we see Dr. Hottiepants’ true colors. Caleb thinks Scarlett changed her mind because a music career is a pipe dream and she wanted to stay home rooted in reality. “It’s not like you’re saving lives,” he arrogantly tells Gunnar. OUCH, Dr. Hottiepants! Is Juliette’s narcissism that catching?

At Puke Records, Will has a meeting with Luke and it seems like he has taken Gabrielle’s advice and going the typical Puke route. He is dropping Will from his stupidly-named record label. He evens goes as far to say he wants to put some of the songs Will has written on his own upcoming album. Yes, pour salt in the wound, Puke. That’s the Puke we know and want to punch in the grundle. It turns out he listened to that Gabrielle bitch. Like I need ANOTHER Nashville character on my list.

Finally, and not that I am surprised by this, but the show ends as Beverly begins to suddenly go downhill fast as Scarlett looks on in horror. Or the best expression she can make to mimic horror, anyway.

See also:

NASHVILLE recap: "How Can I Help You Say Goodbye" (season 4 episode 3)

NASHVILLE recap: "Til the Pain Outwears the Shame" (season 4 episode 2)

NASHVILLE recap: "Can't Let Go" (season 4 episode 1)