Now that the royal baby watch is over, let’s check on a baby that is getting very little attention…
Juliette and Avery are traveling the country re-launching her career, doing these random pop up shows (like she did in Nashville) and the baby is in tow, but Juliette doesn’t seem to care too much that her spawn is along for the ride. Instead, she tells her husband she wants to be a member of the mile high club. I’m a little surprised the baby’s not in the cargo hold. No, Cadence is with Emily. Emily hands the baby off to Avery and Juliette throws on her head phones and sits back for a nap. As usual, Avery makes excuses for her.
Rayna hasn’t heard a definitive answer from Beverly on the million dollar kidney donation bribe, but there’s no time because there is important being-a-record-label-president stuff to do. She is meeting with the Chex Mixes (the duo of Gunnar and Scarlett actually called The Exes) and she and Bucky want to sign them to a deal. It’s actually a great deal where they will have creative control and Gunnar and their manager want to jump at the chance, but Skeletal Scarlett is hesitant. In fact, she is moody again and wants to forget the whole thing. But yes, Scarlett. Let’s throw a mental and ruin your hopes of stardom because Gunnar’s ex-girlfriend is back in town.
Mayor Teddy is trying to crawl out of the big old criminal hole he has been digging for himself. His buddy with the US Attorney’s office wants him to be an inside man, wearing a wire, in an investigation to take down a corrupt state senator. Wow, Teddy. It’s kind of like the SAME WAY the hoochie mama took you down. But honestly, with the Tennessee legislature introducing gems like the Don’t Say Gay bill, this plotline is not so far from the truth. ANYWAY, the good mayor does what he is told and finds someone to introduce him to the crooked senator.
Will and Kevin are still in new relationship Candyland, but Will must depart from their love nest and do some performing. At a gig with Puke that appears to be at one of the bars on lower Broadway, Will is approached by an older gentleman in a cowboy hat. You guessed it. Will’s daddy is in town. Let’s just bring those daddy issues back for our sweet Wilma.
Layla is all pouts and tears because she believes she drunkenly Tweeted that no-no picture of her and Jade St. John and a famous musician hottie. Creepy (Jeff) is still lurking around her and decides she should start a Twitter war with Jade to get tongues wagging.
Daphne and Maddie are in California with Tandy, so they won’t make Deacon’s performance that night at the Bluebird. While out running around, Deacon hears on the truck radio that the liver is out of the bag. A couple of radio disc jockeys are discussing his terminal cancer and how the Bluebird show could be his last. The news has also hit Highway 65 where the phones are ringing off the hook and Bucky tells Rayna that Deacon’s cancer is public information. She also gets an oversized envelope delivered from Mississippi. It’s Beverly’s check ripped into pieces.
Topping off Rayna’s shit day is a visit from the Mother of the Year herself, Juliette. Rayna wants to talk to her about her random roof-top pop up shows all over the country. Though Juliette is paying for the shows herself, the label has been getting fines and complaints from every city.
Oh... from the shows.
Of course.
I just thought they were complaining about Juliette as a human being.
Still shaken from receiving the shredded check, Rayna grabs her purse and leaves. Not one to be blown off and much to Glenn’s chagrin, Juliette tells Bucky she will have a completed album for Rayna in two days.
Back in the palace of daddy-issues is Will with his pops when Puke barges into the conversation. Will introduces them and Puke invites Will’s dad (Bill) to a party he is having that night for a bunch of radio programmers. Will tells him to leave town, but daddy Bill has something he needs to get off his chest.
Kylie is ecstatic and comes running down the stairs to tell Gunnar that Micah actually took her call. She will be leaving soon to go see the kiddo and her parents are cautiously okay with it, too. But their joy is short lived when Gunnar gets a call from the Chex Mixes’ manager saying he isn’t dealing with Scarlett’s indecisiveness any longer. Either they decide on a record label or manager dude walks.
When Rayna gets home, her phone is blowing up and she is sinking lower into her pity party funk. She puts an old duet on the record player – an old vinyl of her and Deacon dueting. She is interrupted from her walk down melancholy lane by Deacon. Through her tears, she cries “Why did you get sick?” Deacon reminds her to stay positive and then Rayna fesses up about her trip to see his sister in Mississippi and about the million dollar check being returned in pieces. They both collapse to the floor crying like Juliette’s baby after not being fed all day.
Though Layla doesn’t want to Tweet something crappy about Jade, Creepy thinks it will save her career. So while she sits behind a microphone in the recording studio, Creepy takes over her phone and begins a Twitter war with Jade. A call from Bucky (which Jeff answers) confirms that the online battle is already making the news. Going back to being the pond scum that he is, he tells Bucky he will talk to Layla who is too young to know what she is doing. He then tells Layla that Bucky is “pleased” with the publicity. Anyone else think Jeff and Juliette should have become a couple and then let karma ruin them for the rest of their lives?
Will and his pops go for a walk downtown by the river (with the roller coaster sculpture and LP Field in the background) and Will confronts daddy-o about leaving him by the side of the road when he was 17 years old. Anyone here think Will’s dad might be able to give Juliette parenting tips? ANYWAY, His dad says he feels crappy about that and that Will’s mama has been praying for him to “find his way.” Yeah, if that isn’t pray the gay away speak, I’m not ever drinking wine again. I digress, but, in a weird, redneck way, Bill tries to tell his son he is proud of him. At the last minute, Will has a change of heart and tells JR Ewing… er… his dad that he should attend the radio programmers shindig Puke invited him to.
As Avery remains the only parent who cares about Cadence, he is surprised to learn Juliette knew about Deacon’s cancer and didn’t tell him. He suggests they attend Deacon’s Bluebird show to support him and Juliette says she can’t because Rayna demanded she have her album ready in two days. Believing her lies, Avery agrees to go to the Bluebird while Juliette stays home with the baby to work on the album. Something stinks about this situation. And it’s not the baby’s two day old diaper.
At the Bluebird, Sherpa Scarlett and Dr. Hottiepants (Caleb) arrive and sit down for an awkward conversation with Gunnar and Kylie. Scarlett and Gunnar try to hash it out at the bar as Kylie and Caleb look on from across the room. How many more arguments are they going to get into? This storyline is more exhausted than Deacon’s liver. Speaking of Deacon, he calls Scarlett to tell her he won’t be showing up at the Bluebird for his show and wants the Chex Mixes to fill in for him.
At Puke’s radio event, Will arrives with his daddy and when Kevin approaches for a hug, he is immediately side stepped by Will who introduces him to his father as a “co-worker.” Ouch, Wilma! Somebody put Kevvy in a corner!
Deacon stays home with Rayna. Her pity party is contagious and now he’s sad and blue because his secret is out and people are treating him like he is already dead. Realizing she brought him down, she tells him to get up. He has a show to do.
Back at the Bluebird, Avery arrives to find Scarlett in a panic because the Chex Mixes are filling in for Deacon. But as usual, Scarlett and Gunnar are undeniably talented and sound amazing together. In the audience, Avery and the duo’s manager talk about how they are a train wreck off stage, but onstage, their chemistry is obvious.
Once Kevin gets Will alone for a few minutes, he asks why Will’s pops is even in town. Will tries to defend his dad by claiming he apologized, but Kevin reminds Will his dad told him he wished he’d never been born and he was disgusting. Will pulls a Juliette, avoids the subject and walks away. Later, Bill believes Will has turned away from the gay and he tells him he loves him.
Teddy is nervous about his meeting with the senator who had some questionable business dealings with Rayna’s daddy when he was alive. Teddy is supposed to pick the shady dealings back up where Lamar left them, all while wearing the wire.
When Emily arrives at Juliette’s house, Juliette has been ignoring her screaming child for God knows how long. Of course, she called Emily because she needed to go in the studio. Since when did Emily become a nanny? Panicked, Emily calls Avery and tells him Cadence hadn’t been fed or changed for hours. Then, Emily says she thinks something is wrong with Juliette. UMMMM… YA THINK, GENIUS? How long did it take to realize Juliette will be in court off and on for the next 30 years for failure to pay child support?
Deacon and Rayna get to the Bluebird in time to sing a sappy number together and Gunnar takes a moment to corner Scarlett. Skinny tells Gunnar she is scared to sign with Highway 65 because she was signed to that label once before and she let Rayna down. She doesn’t want to do it again. Gunnar reminds her Rayna would be signing both of them. They agree that they will move forward with Highway 65 and that discussion of their personal lives are off limits. Yeah. That will happen as soon as Scarlett’s accent sounds remotely North American.
Teddy nervously waits for the senator to arrive at a local restaurant. Once they get to chatting, we learn that the good senator never dealt with Lamar directly. He did all of his shady work through Teddy’s former sister in law, Tandy.
Layla and Creepy arrive back at her place (where he is still living.) Jeff is a bit like a fungus. He just stays and grows on Layla. Anyway, she is happy with the publicity her Twitter feud has garnered (not to mention around a million Twitter followers.) That is when Creepy pulls a management contract out for Layla to sign so he will be her manager for the duration of her career. Without even reading it, she signs it right before he begins kissing her. Bad decisions, thy name is Layla. I liked her so much better when she was Will’s petulant beard.
Juliette comes home to find an intervention waiting on the couch. Glenn, Avery, Emily and Juliette’s doctor are all waiting to give her a dose of reality. They also might point out that child neglect is illegal. When her doctor suggests she is suffering from postpartum depression, she (no surprise here) lashes out and blames them for not helping with her career re-launch and then stomps outta there to get to the recording studio.
At the Bluebird, Scarlett tells Rayna the Chex Mixes will sign with Highway 65, but it’s still not a good night for our skinny Sherpa. As Dr. Hottiepants walks her to her car, he asks her point blank about her feelings for Gunnar. She kisses him and tries to reassure him there is nothing but animosity between them, but as I have said before, HE AIN’T NO FOOL, SCARLETT!
Kylie grills Gunnar the same way, asking about his deal with Scarlett. Gunnar tells her how Scarlett helped him get through the death of his brother. Kylie realizes that her coming back to town and telling Gunnar about what Jason did to her brought back a lot of negativity for both Gunnar and Scarlett. But Gunnar dismisses her argument, saying he was reminded of his relationship with Kylie and how what they had was good. Then, Kylie kisses him. So… is it time for Zoey to come back to town yet? I need a cat fight in the worst way since Juliette and Christina Aguilera never threw down a few episodes ago.
Will (ONCE AGAIN) shows up on Kevin’s doorstep ready to (ONCE AGAIN) explain/apologize. Will shares with Kevin how his dad told him he loved him. It’s something he never heard from his father. Kevin (like the rest of the free world) isn’t buying daddy Bill’s BS and tells Will it doesn’t mean anything because his father doesn’t know the real Will.
But Will has bigger problems to worry about. One of Puke’s lackeys shows Puke online photos of Will and Kevin spending time together attached to a story that Will is gay.
As Rayna and Deacon are getting ready to leave the Bluebird, Beverly walks through the door. In tears, she tells Deacon she wants to help him live.
And on that note, next week is the season finale.
Hold on to your panties, kids, because it looks like the drama will be on high alert.
I am now accepting donations of wine, Cracker Barrel and kittens to help me deal.