NASHVILLE recap: "Can't Help but Wonder Where I'm Bound"
While the rest of the world is watching Olympic figure skating, myself and like two other people are tuning in to see Nashville. Anyone else hope Mike Pence falls on the ice and Adam Rippon skates across his hand, taking off a finger or two?
Oh well, back to fake Nashville.
The Lost Highways (Gunnar, Will, Avery and Alannah’s stupid band name) are already getting a lot of buzz after only two gigs. Bucky hesitates to let them know that the press wants to talk to them, well, Alannah, to be exact. Doing the right thing, Alannah insists they interview the entire band or none of them at all.
Speaking of Alannah, Gunnar is falling hard for her and she is keeping it on the booty call level. One evening, Gunnar tries to get all sweet and sappy until she gets a call from her ex and leaves the room to talk.
There is a talent night at Daphne and Jake’s school. Deacon and Jessie are attending, of course, as is Jake’s POS father, Brad, who is with his new punching bag, errr, I mean wife. Daphne sings beautifully, bringing Deacon to tears. Then, it’s Jake’s turn, who is doing some freestyle rapping-style spoken word full of teenage angst.
Juliette is supposed to be coming back from Bolivia and Avery goes to meet her plane, but she isn’t on it. Concerned, Avery calls Glenn (GLENN IS BACK!!). Then, Avery calls the cult’s Bolivian branch and they will not let him talk to her. They keep repeating that Juliette is free to reach out to him whenever she likes. While I get that separating people from their family is what cults do, why couldn’t it be like a head shaving, airport-harassing type cult? At least make it entertaining.
After the talent show, Deacon and Jessie are gushing over Daphne and Jake when creepy Brad walks up and creeps all over everything. He didn’t understand what Jake did and insults it while praising Daphne in the same breath. He even calls Daphne a star, which make her beam.
Maddie is in Miami with Jonah on his tour and it seems his entourage buddy, Twig, has the hots for her. What stupid, contrived storyline are we going to cook up? Well, it did manage to get in a plug for Toyota, so shameless is the name of the game. Anyway, at Jonah’s concert, he pulls Maddie on stage to sing with him. And here’s the thing. Jonah is a pop star and the song is upbeat and fun and Maddie just wanders around, not even moving or dancing to the beat. It looks awkward and forced. I will say that Maddie’s bleach almost-white hair is fixed really cute. There, I said something nice about her. It will not happen again.
Avery goes to Deacon at Highway 65 to figure out what to do about Juliette, but he is interrupted by the rest of his band. It’s time to do the reporter interviews and, as expected, they all want to talk to Alannah. Okay, here is a dose of reality. As a former country music journalist, I can tell you, that the reporter focuses on the famous people. Yes, they would certainly ask questions of the new person on the scene, but you definitely want to talk to the entire band. CMT knows this all too well and came up with this exhausted scenario? At least in the interviews, Alannah gives the credit to the entire band. However, we do learn that Brad is the one who called the reporters and told them about Alannah. And now Brad is texting Alannah. It’s like the Nashville writers killed off Jeff and just got a creepier guy to take his place.
Daphne is thinking about maybe doing an American Idol-type show and Deacon tries to talk her out of it, especially since it’s a Brad-produced show. Deacon next goes to talk to Avery, suggesting that if Juliette won’t come home, maybe he should go to her. Juliette has a private jet at Avery’s disposal. On the way down, do you think he could drop me off at the Cayman Islands? With Gunnar?
Will isn’t happy with Alannah joining the band. He says it’s starting to feel like a job and he thought the point of their band was to just hang out together and jam. Later, Gunnar goes over to Avery’s house for pizza and beer because Alannah is out with her ex. Avery has to talk him out of calling her, reminding Gunnar they are not in a relationship.
Jonah has to fly to Austin last minute to audition for a movie, leaving Maddie in Miami with his entourage, and, of course, Twig. When some of them score a bag of choice shrooms, Maddie declines. STOP TRYING TO MAKE MADDIE A GOOD GIRL. For the love of every twisted child star, make her interesting. Anyway, Twig bows to peer pressure and gulps down a mushroom.
The next day, Gunnar starts to grill Alannah about why she was out with her ex all night and if she slept with him. She blows off his questions and explains that if his jealousy gets in the way of the band, then maybe she needs to find another band.
In a really bad scene where Twig is tripping, Maddie gets him out of the room with the rest of the shrooms-taking entourage, who are picking on him. She looks up on her phone how to help him get past the effects of the drug and takes him to the bathroom. She says she will stay with him until he is feeling better. They begin to talk and it looks like Maddie could end up falling for Twig, who wants to be a music producer. How convenient. Anyway, its obvious Twig and Madds like one another, even when Jonah returns.
Deacon goes over to Jessie’s and when she leaves the room, she overhears a very sweet heart to heart he has with Jake about his talent night performance. Deacon explains that Jake shouldn’t believe everything his creepy dad says and that his performance showed real heart and he was gifted. It endears him to Jake. But come on. Who doesn’t love Deacon? Anyway, when Jake leaves, Deacon tries to rush her out the door to get to The Lost Highway’s show. However, she tells him they are going to miss the show and leads him to her bedroom. I can’t even be jealous at this point. Not after Deacon’s little talk with Jake. You go girl! And this time, Deacon goes through with it.
At the show Deacon and Jessie are missing, Will is tired of standing behind Alannah and Gunnar and steps forward to jam out on a guitar solo. Will is a showman, folks. This little light of his must shine. The little stunt seems to unnerve Alannah who needs to get over herself.
After the show, Will and Gunnar start arguing and Avery interrupts them, pointing out he has an early morning flight to Bolivia. Yep, even though Juliette isn’t worth it, he gets on the plane and flies to South freaking America for the crazy bitch. Once he arrives at the cult compound in the gorgeous countryside, he is told he can’t see Juliette because he doesn’t have an appointment. He makes it VERY clear he isn’t leaving until he sees his wife.
Alannah later makes her way over to Gunnar’s place, for I guess another booty call? This happens just as we see Will overdoing it at the gym and nearly collapsing. I am sorry, but Will has been through a lot worse than this. Will is too good of a character to waste on a steroids plot. It’s insulting.
Avery is taken to see Juliette in some primitive adobe room. She doesn’t respond when he rushes to embrace her. Her demeanor is very calm, but also very distant. She explains basically all of the mumbo jumbo the cult has been filling her head with. How she can’t be with anyone having to do with her old life until she deals with the hole in her heart and that type of nonsense. When Avery says the cult is bad for her, she refuses to go home with him. She says Cadence can stay with her in the Bolivian cult or she can face time with her every day. Avery is distraught and pleads with her, but she kisses him on the forehead and turns her back on him. He leaves in tears.
And why am I in tears? I missed the figure skating.
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