Immigration laws unfair for GLBTQ citizens

Dear Hersband and Wife,

Hey guys, I just wanted to send an e-mail after watching some of your videos. I think what you are doing is awesome and deserves some recognition! I do have a question for you. My boyfriend’s visa has expired making him an illegal alien. If he goes back to Mexico, the process for him to get it renewed could take years.

We have been together for a while now and we want to get married. Since we live in Texas gay marriage is not recognized, of course. Which brings me to my question...what is a civil union? Could it help us with our problem?

I think this problem just shows one more of the many faces of discrimination that gays and lesbians have to deal with. I worry about him all the time when he's at work or driving down the road. If he is pulled over and taken to jail, will I see him again?

Your brother in the fight,


Dear immigration issues,

I understand your plight here. Unfortunately there is not a law yet to help same sex couples where one is not a U.S. citizen. There is a bill in the house and senate right now to help with such rights, but nothing has passed as of yet.

Wife and I have been asked this many times. One of the solutions has been for the American to go to the partner’s country. Try to find out what you need to do to be legal in Mexico. There are many businesses there that are American based.

I know this is not the only solution and it may not be possible. The other one is to visit him in Mexico a lot and try to wait it out for another visa. You may have to settle for a long distance relationship.

This is just a good butch perspective.


Dear immigration issues,

I can feel for your situation. It is becoming and has been a large concern for many GLBTQ Americans for many years. Fortunately, for the immigration issue our wonderful government has come up with is a semi solution (if it passes).

“The Uniting American Families Act (UAFA) is a U.S. bill introduced to amend the Immigration and Nationality Act, which currently houses the countries immigration policies. If passed, UAFA would allow permanent partners of United States citizens and permanent residents, including same-sex partners, to obtain residency. Currently, only the heterosexual spouses of U.S. citizens are granted citizenship." (Quoted excerpt taken from

This Act will most definitely be something that you will be able to use to help your situation.

Unfortunately, since both civil union and same sex marriage are all on the state level, and immigration is on the federal level, neither will help you other than to prove your relationship if the UAFA bill passes.

At this time you are able to obtain a civil union in Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire and New Jersey while obtaining a same sex marriage only in Massachusetts. 
Just my humble opinion as the femme,


To submit your question to Hersband and Wife, email them at You can also visit one of their Web sites listed below for additional advice and other resources.  

WhistlePig + Alfa Romeo F1

SHOREHAM, VT (September 13, 2023) — WhistlePig Whiskey, the leaders in independent craft whiskey, and Alfa Romeo F1 Team Stake are waving the checkered flag on a legend-worthy release that’s taking whiskey to G-Force levels. The Limited Edition PiggyBack Legends Series: Alfa Romeo F1 Team Stake Barrel is a high Rye Whiskey selected by the Alfa Romeo F1 Team Stake drivers, with barrels trialed in their wind tunnel to ensure a thrilling taste in every sip.

The third iteration in WhistlePig’s Single Barrel PiggyBack Legends Series, the Alfa Romeo F1 Team Stake Barrel is bottled at 96.77 proof, a nod to Valtteri Bottas’ racing number, 77, and the precision of racing. Inspired by Zhou Guanyu, the first Chinese F1 driver, this Rye Whiskey is finished with lychee and oolong tea. Herbal and floral notes of the oolong tea complement the herbaceous notes of WhistlePig’s signature PiggyBack 100% Rye, rounded out with a juicy tropical fruit finish and a touch of spice.

Keep readingShow less
by Spectrum Medical Care Center

Nurse Practitioner Ari Kravitz

When I started medical transition at 20 years old, it was very difficult to get the care I needed for hormone replacement therapy because there are very few providers trained in starting hormones for trans people, even though it’s very similar to the hormones that we prescribe to women in menopause or cisgender men with low testosterone.

I hope more providers get trained in LGBTQ+ healthcare, so they can support patients along their individual gender journey, and provide the info needed to make informed decisions about their body. I’ve personally seen my trans patients find hope and experience a better quality of life through hormone replacement therapy.

Keep readingShow less

Descanso Resort swimming pool and lounge area

Descanso Resort, Palm Springs' premier destination for gay men, just received Tripadvisor's highest honor, a Travelers' Choice "Best of the Best" award for 2023. Based on guests' reviews and ratings, fewer than 1% of Tripadvisor's 8 million listings around the world receive the coveted "Best of the Best" designation. Descanso ranked 12th in the top 25 small inns and hotels category in the United States. Quite an accomplishment!

Open less than two years, Descanso Resort offers gay men a relaxing and luxurious boutique hotel experience just minutes away from Palm Springs' buzziest restaurants, nightclubs, and shopping. Descanso has quickly established itself as a top destination for sophisticated gay travelers, earning hundreds of 5-star guest reviews and consistently ranking in Trapadvisor's top positions alongside brother properties Santiago Resort and Twin Palms Resort.

Keep readingShow less