Immigration laws unfair for GLBTQ citizens

Dear Hersband and Wife,

Hey guys, I just wanted to send an e-mail after watching some of your videos. I think what you are doing is awesome and deserves some recognition! I do have a question for you. My boyfriend’s visa has expired making him an illegal alien. If he goes back to Mexico, the process for him to get it renewed could take years.

We have been together for a while now and we want to get married. Since we live in Texas gay marriage is not recognized, of course. Which brings me to my question...what is a civil union? Could it help us with our problem?

I think this problem just shows one more of the many faces of discrimination that gays and lesbians have to deal with. I worry about him all the time when he's at work or driving down the road. If he is pulled over and taken to jail, will I see him again?

Your brother in the fight,


Dear immigration issues,

I understand your plight here. Unfortunately there is not a law yet to help same sex couples where one is not a U.S. citizen. There is a bill in the house and senate right now to help with such rights, but nothing has passed as of yet.

Wife and I have been asked this many times. One of the solutions has been for the American to go to the partner’s country. Try to find out what you need to do to be legal in Mexico. There are many businesses there that are American based.

I know this is not the only solution and it may not be possible. The other one is to visit him in Mexico a lot and try to wait it out for another visa. You may have to settle for a long distance relationship.

This is just a good butch perspective.


Dear immigration issues,

I can feel for your situation. It is becoming and has been a large concern for many GLBTQ Americans for many years. Fortunately, for the immigration issue our wonderful government has come up with is a semi solution (if it passes).

“The Uniting American Families Act (UAFA) is a U.S. bill introduced to amend the Immigration and Nationality Act, which currently houses the countries immigration policies. If passed, UAFA would allow permanent partners of United States citizens and permanent residents, including same-sex partners, to obtain residency. Currently, only the heterosexual spouses of U.S. citizens are granted citizenship." (Quoted excerpt taken from

This Act will most definitely be something that you will be able to use to help your situation.

Unfortunately, since both civil union and same sex marriage are all on the state level, and immigration is on the federal level, neither will help you other than to prove your relationship if the UAFA bill passes.

At this time you are able to obtain a civil union in Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire and New Jersey while obtaining a same sex marriage only in Massachusetts. 
Just my humble opinion as the femme,


To submit your question to Hersband and Wife, email them at You can also visit one of their Web sites listed below for additional advice and other resources.  

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