Get some help; get a life coach

by Diana Hendrix


My partner and I are both in our late thirties, own a house together, and have been in a committed relationship for over six years. For the most part, everything’s great. Lately, however, my partner has put on about 25 lbs. and it’s starting to turn me off. Not only is it physically unattractive, but also makes me think he doesn’t care about himself. I’ve even found myself checking out other men. He never has a problem telling me when something doesn’t meet his standards but gets very defensive when I do. How can I bring this up without seeming shallow and insensitive?

Concerned Partner


Dear Concerned Partner,

It isn’t necessarily shallow to want to be attracted to your partner. Excessive weight gain can be a sign of low self-esteem, depression and lead to serious health concerns. Ask yourself this: Are you concerned about your ego or his health? Is this an excuse for you to wander? How would you like to receive this information if the tables were turned? Considering his defensiveness, you should probably wait until he brings it up and then ask him how you can help. Until then, taking walks together, preparing healthier meals and portion control can contribute to your health as a couple.

What you really need to address is your feeling that he can dish it out but can’t take it, as this will do far more damage to your relationship than a little back fat. That is the weightier issue. 

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