Ask Francine - A Lady in Waiting Plunges into 2009

Lord knows I’m not a racist. There is not a bone in my body that would allow discrimination against a fellow man (or woman). Yet, disturbingly, there are a few folks in my Grand GOP who are starting to inch toward the old days of those ancient giant legends like Jesse Helms and Mike Wallace ... I mean George Wallace, may he rest in peace. For you little twinks not understanding any of this, grab your phones and Wikipedia “Governor George Wallace” to understand my brilliant humor. Racism is an American tradition!

It is a royal pain in the boom-boom to have to carry Christ’s cross around every day, being a slave to salvation and carrying the message of Christianity to the world. Yet I’m up to it, and being Kansas City’s most recognized Christian, I need to tell you heathens about a few changes in store for 2009.

First, Christ is the King, Elizabeth is the Queen, and I’m in the Lady in Waiting. The old bag popped in for a week-long visit at my Loch Lloyd manse after the New Year with her servants, horses and disease-ravaged dogs. That’s what we do, we Royals. We pop in on one another unannounced when we get bored. And she HATES the American flavor of Poly-Grip, I tell you. I was so happy when her carriage took her off to KCI. Due to the bad economy, she’s flying first-class, but with Southwest. Don’t ask.

Now that the holy season celebrating Christ’s Birth has ended, I have some sad news to tell you. National Log Cabin Republican President Patrick Sammon is quitting. Yes, the country is in ruin after an eight-year run of Georgie, our GOP Convention totally shunned Patrick and his cute little band of conservative gays, but that’s not stopping them from protesting the Demoncrat Inauguration. Republican Gays around the country will be wearing crowns made out of thorns to protest the abuse gay Republicans have to endure on a daily basis from the bourgeois gay liberals.

And the day after Barack Obama orders his first cup of coffee as president, sweet little Patrick is going to quit his job and go back to filming documentaries or whatever ex-GOP gays do. I’ll miss his cute smile, his self-effacing demeanor, and most of all, I’ll miss his seething self-loathing.

Oops! Almost forgot. There’s a meeting of the ex-gay organization Exodus International coming up with Obama’s new best friend, televangelist Rick Warren -- the guy who’s giving the Inaugural prayer for our new president. I am tickled pink! To think that Obama, like Bill Clinton, sucked up to the gays to get himself elected ... and then coats them with poo-poo! It’s heaven! I’m almost happy John McCain lost ... almost.
Francine offers her slightly skewed viewpoint on issues in
the Kansas City metropolitan area’s LGBT community in each issue of Camp. And since you’re asking, yes, she’s a fictional
character. Well, you asked.

Financial Planning for the LGBTQ+ community

The new year has arrived. For many people, that means making resolutions and thinking of ways they can do better in the coming year and beyond. Money management and financial planning are often very popular resolutions and goals, but most financial advice tends to be aimed at heterosexual couples who want to grow their family and raise children.

But, what if your life goals are different? What if you don’t receive the same protection under the current laws as hetero couples?
What if you don’t want to have kids?

Keep reading Show less
Photo courtesy of Joe Eats World

Slane Irish Whiskey bottles

Disclaimer: My trip was provided courtesy of a press trip but all opinions about the trip and events are my own. Please note there are affiliate links and at no additional cost to you, I may earn a commission if you make a purchase.

Keep reading Show less
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Mental Health for LGBTQ+ Aging Adults

Queer elders have made a big impact on the world. Queer folks over the age of 65 were around during the Stonewall Movement in the 1960s and may have even campaigned to improve the rights and freedoms of LGBTQ+ people around the world.

But, as queer elders enter later life, they may need to find new ways to protect and preserve their mental health.

Keep reading Show less