We have a wiener

Ladies, don’t you just love opening up your Facebook Messenger app to find that, out of the kindness of his heart, some jerk off has sent you a picture of his genitals? No doubt fishing for a compliment! Straight guys, we can’t take you ANYWHERE on social media.

And now the burden is on you: if you don’t respond he could harass you further, call you a b!$%#, but, hell, he could do that if you do respond. Sometimes you just delete and block. But the burden falls on us to do so.

And Facebook is largely no help. They are more concerned playing name police in the LGBTQI community. You lose access to your account indefinitely for changing a name that reflects your correct gender, but go ahead, send as many dick pics as you want. We’ll punish the girls if they try to humiliate you the way you humiliated them.

If you follow me on Facebook, you’ve at least once seen me post a picture some guy sent me of his junk, and I’ll tag him, his friends, his mom, etc. And my followers have a field day. One time I did this and the guy wrote me, “I did ask for all this,” to which I responded, “I didn’t ask for a picture of your genitals, so I guess we’re both surprise winners today. “

At any rate, yes, if some rando sends me unsolicited picture of his junk, I’m posting it and tagging him at minimum. Why? I’m glad you asked. Why shouldn’t the question posed to him. I am the victim here. This is me fighting back. When asked why I would post them, like the men are being victimized, that reflects rape culture. See If Joey Douchebag walks up to me in person and exposes himself, he’s committed a misdemeanor offense. If he does it on Facebook, as long as it’s in a private message, it’s okay. Even if the WOMAN DOESN’T WANT IT.

Sometimes my dicks of shame get taken down, which I think is bullshit. You invaded my space without permission, and you must be punished. Facebook will take down memes friends make to make fun of these guys and suspend us. But nothing happens them? Excuse me, I think that’s a wrong.

If you send pictures of your junk to people who didn’t ask to see them, you get what you deserve. Just like in real life, if you flash granny and granny twists your testicles, you had it coming. I think Facebook should amend its guide lines to reflect that if you send unsolicited nudes to someone, you should be suspended from the site.

I don’t understand why guys do this. Has it ever worked? Like you send a picture of your dick and suddenly the recipient is banging at your door? If it has happened, it’s rare. Usually it just leads to some skeeved out girl either sending you a nasty message or deleting/blocking you. I post them—if not the pictures, straight out tag the sender, all mutual friends, etc., etc., in a written post about the picture sent to you by this person, and offer to DM screen shots to interested parties.

I mean, when was the last time some chick was like, “Yeah! Totally! This isn’t creepy at al!” And, seriously, participation trophy generation, just cause you have a dick doesn’t mean it’s a “good one.” Y’all will send pics of some of the scraggliest, dingy, little, bent-weird, broom-handle looking thing like you’re really putting some hot stuff on display. You oughta be ashamed of yourself for not only carrying is around but showing it to other people.

I mean if you like someone on Facebook, how about messaging them “Hello!” and asking about hobbies or something normal. Here’s how to know if someone wants a picture or your stuff: They will ask. Likewise, if they want to send you one, they will let you know. Now shake hands and be good, genitals.

 

 

 

Graphic via Jezebel

Photo courtesy of Red Bull

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Photo courtesy of Rumble Boxing Gulch Nashville

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