By Nate Whitten, May 2015 Issue.

When it comes to personal trainers, your goals are their goals and your successes are their successes – this is what makes them personal and not just trainers.

But one of the challenges every personal trainer faces from time to time is a lack of intimacy between themselves and their clients. Meaning that, to reach your greatest potential and achieve your stated goal, it is important that you are able to rely on a professional level of disclosure between you and the person you are paying to get you there.

Like any relationship in life, the vulnerability and communication you allow to take place between you and your personal trainer can be the difference between struggle and success.

So, when it comes to getting personal with your personal trainer – or your family, your significant other, your friends and yourself for that matter – here are three strategies that will lend themselves to an enhanced overall experience:


When asked if you’ve been following your nutritional plan, why are you lying? When asked if you’re participating in your own exercise time, why are you embellishing? Personal trainers are fitness pros and they can tell from a mile away whether or not you’re being honest.

At the same time, a good trainer should not berate or discourage you if you fall off the fitness wagon. If you are having a hard time sticking to your plan, be honest and let your trainer know your problem and they will have a variety of techniques available to help you get back on track in a way that will help you be successful.

Think about the other relationships in your life; do you feel like you have to lie about your lifestyle or your choices to them? If so, it’s time to recreate your circle of influence.

Judgmental relationships make it impossible for you to feel safe and secure in being your authentic self. Don’t you think it’s time you shut down any judgmental queens and surround yourself with people you can be vulnerable and safe among? When you do, you’ll find success in living by allowing honesty to be your best policy.


If you aren’t hitting your goal, there’s no reason to blame your trainer. They see you for 30 to 45 minutes per session. The rest of your week is up to you and the fitness choices you make.

Before you blame your trainer, your partner’s cooking or your overbooked social calendar, realize that complaining and blaming will get you nowhere.

If you’re eating fewer calories than you’re burning each day, you will lose weight. If you find you’re not making your weight goal when following the directions, you should consult your personal physician because you may have a medical issue. But your trainer isn’t going to make your doctor’s appointment for you.

Your trainer, like your other relationships will quickly develop selective hearing if you are a chronic whiner. But, taking responsibility for your life and your shortcomings can prevent this. If, in the process, you find that you need help developing personal responsibility, here are trainers for that too.

Coaches and counselors are great resources for helping you to become more self-aware and self sufficient with your emotions and actions, but you have to make the first move, because these professionals do not spend their time convincing people they need help, they help people convinced they want to make a change.


Don’t ask your trainer for an easier exercise. They’ve listened to your goals and have created a plan to help you reach them – this means showing up! Your trainer did their part by showing up to help motivate you to get to your desired physique, so you’re expected to do yours. From there, do the work they’ve planned and you’ll both be successful.

Your trainer wants success stories; without them their business is shot. Put on your big girl panties and swing that kettle bell with the same tenacity that you use when trying to get the elusive hot guy on Grindr.

Your personal relationships will also thrive when you do the work. Give as much as you take within them, be positive, take personal responsibility and, most of all, be honest with your trainer, your family, your significant other, your friends and yourself.

Keep reading Show less
Photo courtesy of The Dinah

The Dinah

Keep reading Show less
Photo courtesy of Michael Feinstein.

Michael Feinstein

Keep reading Show less
Gilles Toucas

Michael Feinstein will commemorate Judy Garland’s life on March 20 at Scottsdale Center for the Performing Arts.

Keep reading Show less