Ask Francine - How Would Jesus Look?

I write this column to save you LGBTQRST sinners from a horrible eternity in Hell. It is a dreadful chore coming up with clever, witty and meaningful things to say, so I prayed and prayed about what I could do to make it more alarming to you whores and whorettes.
For example, should I scare you describing the evil, toxic gases waiting for you in the depths of Hell?
Scratch that one off. Couldn�t be worse than the hot, humid, cologne-infested, lusty, musky air of the dance floor at Missy B�s late on a Saturday night.
But how about the horrible, disfigured ancient demons ready to spear you with their red-hot pitchforks?
Again, you�re already encountering this -- during Bad Music Sundays at Hamburger Mary�s. I am not able to scare you sodomites into submission, no matter how hard I try � I�ve even attempted to write this column without wearing makeup, which is a fright.
That�s when I looked out of my sunroom window and saw my new poolboy, Jesus, wiping his brow on a warm spring afternoon.
I called out to him: �Hey, Suse!� He turned around to look at me. I am learning Spanish online to be a better employer. �Take-o off-o su camisa!�
He smiled and peeled off his damp T-shirt, and I immediately whipped out my iPhone and took a pic, which I ran through my �Make Me Look Like Jesus� app. The reason you�re reading this column is because of his photo, right?
�Gracias, senorita,� he said, blushing, and resumed removing the leaves and small animals killed with my handgun during the winter from the pool. I love it when he calls me senorita. It makes me tingle like when Sarah Palin calls me up to ask for another donation.
I don�t have anything against a dark-skinned Jesus. But the idea that our Savior was not milky-skinned and blue-eyed is causing some disagreement within my Church.
Being a Republican Christian (which is the only True Christian, by the way), I am a member of a secret exclusive church, which one can only be invited to join, much like the Mission Hills Country Club. We have one member from Hallmark, who cast gorgeous Christian Bale as Jesus in one of their dreadful Hall of Fame movies.
But I can�t help but think that every Christian who has a personal relationship with the Savior looks at Him as family. You identify with Christ as being the color you are, right? The Web is filled with spiritual, inspirational images of how people worldwide incorporate this man into their daily lives, and for the first time, I am not going to preach about what I think His skin color was.
I�m only going to tell you that Jesus is hot, hot, hot sexy � that�s something that everyone gets right.

WhistlePig + Alfa Romeo F1

SHOREHAM, VT (September 13, 2023) — WhistlePig Whiskey, the leaders in independent craft whiskey, and Alfa Romeo F1 Team Stake are waving the checkered flag on a legend-worthy release that’s taking whiskey to G-Force levels. The Limited Edition PiggyBack Legends Series: Alfa Romeo F1 Team Stake Barrel is a high Rye Whiskey selected by the Alfa Romeo F1 Team Stake drivers, with barrels trialed in their wind tunnel to ensure a thrilling taste in every sip.

The third iteration in WhistlePig’s Single Barrel PiggyBack Legends Series, the Alfa Romeo F1 Team Stake Barrel is bottled at 96.77 proof, a nod to Valtteri Bottas’ racing number, 77, and the precision of racing. Inspired by Zhou Guanyu, the first Chinese F1 driver, this Rye Whiskey is finished with lychee and oolong tea. Herbal and floral notes of the oolong tea complement the herbaceous notes of WhistlePig’s signature PiggyBack 100% Rye, rounded out with a juicy tropical fruit finish and a touch of spice.

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by Spectrum Medical Care Center

Nurse Practitioner Ari Kravitz

When I started medical transition at 20 years old, it was very difficult to get the care I needed for hormone replacement therapy because there are very few providers trained in starting hormones for trans people, even though it’s very similar to the hormones that we prescribe to women in menopause or cisgender men with low testosterone.

I hope more providers get trained in LGBTQ+ healthcare, so they can support patients along their individual gender journey, and provide the info needed to make informed decisions about their body. I’ve personally seen my trans patients find hope and experience a better quality of life through hormone replacement therapy.

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Descanso Resort, Palm Springs' premier destination for gay men, just received Tripadvisor's highest honor, a Travelers' Choice "Best of the Best" award for 2023. Based on guests' reviews and ratings, fewer than 1% of Tripadvisor's 8 million listings around the world receive the coveted "Best of the Best" designation. Descanso ranked 12th in the top 25 small inns and hotels category in the United States. Quite an accomplishment!

Open less than two years, Descanso Resort offers gay men a relaxing and luxurious boutique hotel experience just minutes away from Palm Springs' buzziest restaurants, nightclubs, and shopping. Descanso has quickly established itself as a top destination for sophisticated gay travelers, earning hundreds of 5-star guest reviews and consistently ranking in Trapadvisor's top positions alongside brother properties Santiago Resort and Twin Palms Resort.

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