For same-sex couples, marriage puts the perfect stamp on an already wonderful relationship. So it goes for Erin Andrews and her partner Danielle Buquoi of Clarksville, who are celebrating their tenth anniversary by getting married in Provincetown, Mass. on July 26, 2012. The couple, who have a 4-year-old son through an open adoption, agreed on a small, intimate ceremony for close friends and family.
Why make a significant change at this stage in their relationship? "Love. For now, it's symbolic but hopefully one day soon it will come with protection in the state of Tennessee."
Both women are part-time students at Austin Peay University, so balancing their schedules can be a difficult task. Erin stresses the fact that her family leads a normal life full of laundry and laughter, toys and tears.
"As much as we are not a 'traditional' family, we really are in so many ways," Erin says. "We worry about paying our bills, pray that our son is safe and healthy, and every evening have the 'What do you want for dinner?' conversation that most couples have."
Their son was foremost in their minds when they chose to take that pivotal step.
"It's also important to us for Grayson to be able to say his parents are married and to see us make a formal commitment to each other," Erin says. "We didn't always want to get married, but once Grayson came along we started to entertain the thought. We wanted to wait until he was old enough to understand what we were doing and to remember being a part of the ceremony."
Despite their confidence in the decision, they do express concerns for Grayson's future.
"We do worry that we will never be able to provide him information about his biological father. We worry that as he enters school in the next year he will experience teasing from other students at school about having two mommies," Erin admits. "We have had a couple of instances of people discriminating against our son because of us."
In one particular case, the family experienced resistance when trying to find playmates for Grayson. A married couple with two young sons abandoned their plans when they discovered that Erin and Danielle were partners.
Still, with a little luck and a lot of hard work, the couple has risen above the challenges of being a lesbian couple in a largely conservative community. The caring spirit of loved ones continues to be their biggest support.
"Honestly, our biggest difficulty is the financial aspect of going out of town and having to work the timing around both of our college classes," Erin says. "Pretty petty differences compared to what some people encounter with emotional negativity from people in their lives.