Alone doesn't have to mean lonely

The holiday season can be particularly cheerless for the single or recently separated, but a few psychological nips and tucks can mean the difference between enjoying the gifts of the Yuletide or sobbing into your eggnog.

If you’re one of those people who needs to be “completed” by someone else, then you’d best learn to make do with half a loaf at this time of year.

In other words, prowling the bars and hookup sites for a boy/girl friend is always chancy at best, and doing so during the holiday season isn’t the best strategy for permanent romantic bliss. Trust me, they’re going to see right through that veneer of charm to needy little lonely you in no time. (And these relationships usually have a shelf life that dates no longer than Jan. 2.)

Besides, going stag (stagette?) to company parties and other holiday functions can be a lot of fun. Nothing is cheerier than watching a tightly wound couple have a snort or two and then tear each other to shreds under the mistletoe. I once saw a wife nail her husband with a Manheim Steamroller CD from 30 feet, and the memory lingers to this day.

In all seriousness, this is a time of year when it’s all too easy to become depressed, and if you find yourself in a dark place that a viewing of “White Christmas” can’t get you out of, make some calls. Have a couple of friends over for dinner, or get out and take in a musical recital or holiday-themed show. If you’re seeing a therapist, double up on visits; believe me, this is familiar territory for them.

Most of all, remember that this too shall pass, and spending some time alone may well be the best gift you can give yourself this year.