By Danae Barnes, April 2016 Web Exclusive.
Without a doubt, the LGBTQ community has moved into the mainstream. And, as a result, the stigma around being "in the life" or "that way" has lessened.
Pride celebrations are no exception to this trend. Festivals were once small affairs but now draw hundreds of thousands of attendees. Musical acts have gone from gay or lesbian stars to contemporary, often heterosexual performers. Corporate sponsors are a regular sight at Pride events. Many festivalgoers are LBGTQ, while some are the simply curious. A big Pride festival can be a wonderful experience, but one that may not necessarily help you find people who truly share your daily struggles and successes.
In this piece, Echo reached out to some (but, of course, not all) groups in the Phoenix area that represent different elements of the LGBTQ community. In doing so, we honor their rainbow of voices, and the work that is still needed to achieve true inclusiveness, acceptance and understanding.
The individuals interviewed in this piece sometimes spoke for themselves, sometimes for their organization. However, a common thread arose: a real desire for acceptance at all levels: self-acceptance, acceptance of others and acceptance by others. Each of these voices make up the rainbow that is our holistic identity, and that is undoubtedly a source of pride this season.
Fluid Arizona
Greg Ward came out in 2000, but quickly went back in the closet.
"Once, a woman asked me if I was bisexual, I was shocked, he recalled. "'How could you know that?' At first, I just told a small group friends. But then, I heard about some of my guy friends making fun of me, and I went right back into the closet."
For years, Ward struggled with coming out. Then, in 2012 he had friend who died of cancer.
"I realized life is too short, I don't want to live that life," he said. "I came out to my mom, and then the rest of my family. Everybody was OK with it, said they still loved me. But I was terrified for years. I made a point to show my family that I loved them – I knew if I needed to come out, they needed to know I loved them."
At that time, Ward said there wasn't much happening with groups in the Valley, so he decided to create a group called Bisexuals of Metro Phoenix, which was mainly online or small social gatherings, to carve out a space for himself – and others like him – in the Rainbow.
Echo:What are the barriers to the community growing?
Ward: The community is closeted, and can be heavily Catholic or Mormon. Or a lot of people who are under the bisexual
Members want a group of people like them, distinct from homo or hetero, because they have different experiences. Those communities can't always identify with being attracted to both. People need to find people like them, that have the same values in their sexuality. They like 'fluid' instead of "bisexual," it helps people get out of labeling each other. Everybody has the right to label- or not label- themselves.
Echo:What do you want people to know?
Ward: When you go to Pride and only hear 'Happy Gay Pride' it can kind of hurt, because I don't always feel included. I'm 100 percent bisexual – straight and gay at the same time. I'm just as gay as a gay man, it isn't just a percentage of being gay inside being straight. It's not a percentage of me attracted to them, it's me that is attracted to them – that's how I work.
For more information on Fluid Arizona, which meets once a month, visit online at fluidarizona.wix.com, on Facebook, on Twitter, on YouTube or by emailing fluidarizona@gmail.com.
Native PFLAG
Amanda Clark, a San Carlos Apache, is the current president of Phoenix's Native American Chapter of PFLAG (parents families, friends and allies united with LGBTQ people to move equality forward). While she has been involved with the group for five years, this is her first year as president.
Echo:How would you describe Native PFLAG?
Clark: The group is, of course, Native American focused. In our original teachings, we used to think of LGBTQ as holy people. They were two-spirited, carrying the qualities that are both male and female. As a group, we support members, member's family and friends. We provide home and security to individuals who are struggling with being LGBTQ, or want to understand and have acceptance for family members.
At the meetings, we usually have a theme, or a speaker talk about their experiences; HIV in Phoenix, or Native health. In the Native American community, we greet each other with food- it's one of the ways we communicate. Sometimes the meeting is just the intimacy of family sitting around the table, talking about their week.
Echo: What makes Native PFLAG unique?
Clark: Being American Indian, a lot of our culture is about spirituality. That is really about our ecosystem, about being human. We are all human, we want to feel that intimacy and come together. We meet to release anxiety or release fear, and its OK. We are part of the earth, we are evolving with the earth.
And it's not just for Native people. Of course we talk about our culture, but anyone can come, regardless of race, age or gender. With Native PFLAG, the biggest baseline is support. To support, educate and advocate. We are the light on, we are always going to be here. You are a part of our family [and] we want to support you – by supporting you we also feel supported.
Echo:What do you see for the future?
Clark: I do see other support groups starting on American Indian reservations, I'd like to see more. It's a goal for Native PFLAG to continue to support other groups starting up. People are beginning to talk on the reservations. People are talking, minds are thinking and we see that as a good thing.
For more information on Native PFLAG, which meets on the third Saturday of every month at noon, visit nativepflag.org like them on Facebook.
Phoenix Pride
Joseph Casados, a community ally and volunteer beverage manager for Phoenix Pride, is celebrating a decade of volunteering with the organization this year. But his work with the community actually began with Flagstaff Pride in the ‘90s.
"When I started out, the whole thing was very small," he said. It was taboo; people didn't want to go to the park. I had several friends, family members who were gay. I started volunteering to show support."
Casados brings a 13-person team, including his girlfriend, daughters, sons and nephews, out to volunteer each year.
"I run a company, and have brought some of my employees to the festival," he added. "At first, they were like "Hey, I'm not really gay." I said, "It's not about being gay, man, it's about moving shelves, we just need to help!"
Once the volunteers got there and saw the whole spectrum, including families, Casados said they were blown away.
"They saw what it was all about," he said. "Now, I hear that when somebody makes a joke around them, they are willing to step in and stop it."
Echo:Tell us about the evolution of Pride festivals that you've witnessed in your 19 years of service.
Casados: I was in there when people were getting beaten up just blocks away from Pride. Now it's GoDaddy, Wells Fargo, etc. who put tents up and put big money in. Companies who align with the festival, that doesn't necessarily mean they are spending [money] on the queer community. Where does the money from the vendors go – the business or the community?
Kids needs to understand the whole story. Being gay isn't just a party, that's definitely a view I'd like to change ... We need to be reminded people have died for your right to kiss safely at the local pizza place.
Echo: What other message would you like to share heading into this Pride season?
Casados: Take pride in yourself, what you believe you stand behind. I was raised in Flagstaff, raised Mexican. I was beaten by police, and have the real scars on my body to show my story. The "queer is trendy" attitude pisses me off, because this is real, and it has real consequences. We need to reach out to the young people, make them understand there are consequences ...
For more information on Phoenix Pride, including volunteer opportunities, visit phoenixpride.org or email volunteers@phoenixpride.org.
Arizona Queer Undocumented Immigrant Project (QUIP)
Dagoberto Bailon spoke with us about Arizona Queer Undocumented Immigrant Project, an advocacy group for those who identify themselves as both undocumented and LGBTQ+.
Echo:What is QUIP?
Bailon: QUIP came about after Proposition 300 and SB1070 were introduced, because we understood the lack of support for this LGBTQ community. We are marginalized at higher rate, criminalized at higher rate and deported at higher rate. We realized no one was vouching for us. ARCOIRIS was formed to take on issues of people in detention.
Initially, it was a lot of advocacy and education. As people who fell into these intersections, we were impacted by both anti-LGBT and anti-immigration legislation. We wanted to connect the mainstream and migrant, find common ground. We understood the disconnection between both movements, and we wanted to create bridges of communication.
In our advocacy, we make sure we are where people are talking policies about immigrant and the migrant perspective. We want to link these two things, and to provide a unique perspective.
Echo:How does QUIP work with the LGBTQ community?
Bailon: We have several programs: Our Health Justice program provides health care to undocumented LGBTQ patients; Family Acceptance, where people go into schools and communities and talk about being trans, gay, lesbian, queer; our Community Defense and Liberation program, which provides moral and legal support for those in detention; and microbusiness support, Mundo de Sabores.
Echo: What do you want the community to know about QUIP?
Bailon: It's important for people to know we talk about change and progress, we need to make sure those who are directly affected are at the front line and leading. If we can open up a space where we trust community, diversity will come. We know for certain its not just one person with the right answer.
For more information on QUIP, visit unitedwedream.org/about/projects/quip or like them on Facebook.
Stephanie Sherwood is the president of Trans*Spectrum Arizona, a local organization that offers peer to peer support groups for the trans* and ally community.
Before becoming involved with Trans*Spectrum Arizona, she was a member of the Mesa Police Department who came out on the job in 2013.
"My best friend was an openly gay sergeant," she said. "I was close to retirement and was going to wait, but it wasn't fair. I thought, 'How can he get away with being gay, and I can't transition?' I didn't have any precedent, so I decided to go ahead and do it."
Echo:How did you find Trans*Spectrum?
Sherwood: I found it through my boyfriend, who I met at a PFLAG meeting. When I transitioned, I hadn't been to any support groups. I thought I had no need to be part of the trans community – I was going to transition and live as female. What I found, however, was though I had well-meaning friends, they didn't get what I was going through.
Echo: Can you describe a typical Trans*Spectrum meeting?
Sherwood: I'm the MTF moderator, and often a new member in the MTF group shows up presenting as male. They are maybe too nervous to present as female, maybe don't know how to leave their residence. They can be very nervous. As it progresses, 'How do I tell my parents' will usually come out. As they get the confidence to tell family members and employers, you see a change in the way they interact. They get more active in the meetings, and show up occasionally, but they no longer have the same needs. It shows we are helping people, we are giving them support to go through their process.
Echo:What else would you like the community to know about Trans*Spectrum?
Sherwood: Trans*Spectrum is a support group. We are not a political group, that is not our purpose. That said, we try to get involved with other groups. Our thing is outreach and providing support. If there are any organizations who want to know more, we are happy to talk with them.We are for anyone who is having any issues whatsoever around trans, we are open and accepting of everyone. Our goal is that we put ourselves out of business because everyone is so accepting of the issue.
For more information on the Trans*Spectrum groups, that meet every second and fourth Saturday at 11 a.m. at the Phoenix Pride LGBT Center, visit transspectrum.org.
Editor's Note:If you are part of a local meet up or support group that you would like to share with Echo and our readers, you're invited to share the details via email to editor@phoenix.outvoices.us. Conversely, if you are looking for local resources beyond those mentioned here, we invite you to check out Echo's directory of organizations and clubs here.
