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Anyone in the LGBTQ+ community understands how complicated life can be. From dealing with the coming out process to fighting for human rights, it can be a struggle every day to just exist. Plenty of factors play into this struggle, most of which are environmental; however, some of the less talked about complications are related to mental health. Intersectionality between mental health-related issues needs more attention in general such as Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
ADHD is a fairly common condition marked by an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development. Here are three ways ADHD can complicate the lives of LGBTQ+ people.
1. Dual Stigma
Being gay, lesbian, trans, or anything else that falls under the LGBTQ+ umbrella is stigmatized to hell and back by conservatives all across the country—and worse in some other parts of the world. Stigma surrounds almost everything about the community: the way you talk, walk, and dress are judged constantly. How you act and how you present yourself in your identity is judged. People love boxes, and they love putting you in one even more. You can be ‘butch,’ ‘queer,’ fem,’ or plenty of other labels that those around you can use to categorize you.
In the same way, those who have ADHD often get put into similar boxes. You’re ‘fidgety,’ ‘spacey,’ or ‘lazy’ a lot of the time. Because of the stigma that revolves around both the LGBTQ+ community and mental health, the duality of identifying with both is an extremely difficult thing. It takes up a lot of mental space to constantly be judged by others, and it takes a lot to hold your head up while it’s happening.
Despite this, embracing these identities can also be extremely empowering. It is even relieving! You no longer have to feel compelled to go beyond yourself to ‘act normal’ and put in all that energy to be someone you aren't. And you have an answer to some of the really difficult problems you may have been facing! It is comforting to now know yourself even better and begin to cherish that side of yourself.
2. Work Is Even More Challenging
It is no secret that in the U.S., being in the LGBTQ+ community can greatly impact your work prospects. This is especially true depending on which region you live in and how you present yourself. Unfortunately, as mentioned previously, there is still a lot of stigma surrounding the LGBTQ+ community–so much so that laws are being passed to keep us out of certain parts of the workforce in various parts of the country.
Experiences trying to work as an out transgender man were complicated by being upfront about identity. A majority of interviews with potential employers have ended prematurely, to start. Not by coincidence either. They have ended right after being confronted about gender identity. And if there is even talk about disabilities, most will end after you say, "yes, I need accommodation for a disability," even if it is something as common as ADHD.
There is a little more protection for people with disabilities, but it is pretty sparse and can be difficult to document. Being open about your identity with an employer is a risk—more so if you identify in multiple categories that are stigmatized, such as being gay and having ADHD. The intersectionality of having ADHD and being in the LGBTQ+ community can heighten the risk of discrimination, not to mention the detrimental mental health effects of being the target of such.
Knowing that someone who holds that kind of power over you, in this case, the employer, may treat you unfairly because of your conditions or identity creates further awareness of the equality gap. ADHD can certainly impact your ability to perform a certain task at work, just as it can keep you from working at all. Having to juggle this mental battle while also being worried about how others perceive you is a huge burden and can weigh heavily on a person.
3. Fear of Rejection in ANOTHER Aspect of Life
LGBTQ+ people who are neurodivergent risk rejection for multiple factors of their identity.
Most people have a fear of rejection, but there are degrees. For some, it can pop up at various times, like on a first date, while for others, it can lurk over every situation they encounter. The extent to which most people feel this fear is usually intense but short-lived. For those of us who have multiple minority identities, the risk of rejection raises its ugly head more often, and there are more reasons to suspect it. It can create this omnipresent fear that never quite goes away, always lingering in the background or making itself heard in the foreground.
Dual stigma plays a huge role in how fear of rejection manifests itself and often shows up in areas of everyday life, such as work. However, it can also pop up in other situations. Maybe it urged you to break up with your significant other, perhaps to distance yourself from a once close friend—or potentially, you might have even been tempted to make a huge life-changing decision based on this fear. Whatever aspects of your life it affects, it is a constant presence. And that sucks.
Having to deal with all of the other worries that life throws at you is hard enough. Having to battle stigma and fight for human rights or equality, all while you carry this enormous mental load, telling you that nothing is ever going to go right, you’ll never be good enough, you’ll never receive the recognition you deserve, and you’ll certainly never live a happy life because of it all. Fearing rejection can manifest itself in anything and everything, at any time, and it can snowball into something much greater, sometimes making what it fears the reality by driving others away.
Yet, often for those within the LGBTQ+ community and neurodivergent people like those with ADHD, the reality is a lot closer than it should be. All of the stigma and stereotyping that goes on creates an atmosphere in which this fear thrives. And for a good reason: rejection is all too often something we face. Being rejected from jobs can be commonplace—not usually because you are underqualified but because of your openness to employers about your identity. It’s a crushing reality that needs to change.
The intersectionality between those who identify as LGBTQ+ and those who have ADHD is a lot closer than most people think. And its effects are a lot greater than most would guess. However, this reality is not all bad. Yet, a lot of great things can come out of embracing your identities. You understand yourself much better to the point where you are grateful for knowing, embracing, and loving both. Knowing yourself and understanding yourself are two very different things, and to truly understand yourself, you must first accept yourself and all of what makes you who you are.
That is freeing. It is life-changing. It opens up completely different worlds. You gain a completely new perspective on what your life is. It’s a powerful and empowering thing to accept your identity, and despite the negative side effects, knowing yourself will make you happier than anyone else ever could.
With podcasts on nearly every topic imaginable recently, you'll know that there's something out there for you. They're such a great way to relax and learn something or to have something on in the background as you do chores. As you'd imagine, there are plenty of podcasts out there that explore LGBTQ+ themes or are created by LGBTQ+ creators. Here are some of the best LGBTQ+ podcasts that you need to check out right now.
Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness
Photo courtesy of Apple Podcasts
This podcast, hosted by Queer Eye superstar Jonathan Van Ness, is all about wanting to know more about the world around you. Every episode they sit down with an expert to talk about their field, so they can learn more about it.
Recent episodes have covered things like the Milky Way, Latin culture, how viruses spread, and so much more. It's a fascinating listen, one that you'll be sure to get a lot out of even if you knew nothing going into an episode. It's a lot of fun too, and you'll be sure to laugh as you learn.
Making Gay History Podcasts
Photo courtesy of Apple Podcasts
The problem with a lot of recorded history is that the stories of many LGBTQ people have been buried over the years. “If you want to know more about the history of your culture, then this is the podcast that you want to be listening to” says Anna Peters, an LGBTQ writer at Elite Assignment Help and Revieweal. “You'll find out a lot about the people who lead the way for LGBTQ people today.”
Host Eric Marcus, who also wrote the book Making Gay History, dives into the history of the people who made history but aren't given the recognition they deserve. That includes people like Jean O'Leary, Vito Russo, and Del Martin to name a few.
Girl That's Scary
Photo courtesy of Girl That's Scary Podcast
If you're looking for a podcast that gives you everything that's new in horror with an LGBTQ+ twist, then this is going to be the podcast for you. As a bonus, it's a black run podcast too. Hosts Jazzmin and Kathleen, aka Jazz The 40oz Connoisseur and Kat Daddy, spend each episode riffing on and laughing about the horror that they love.
The podcast has become popular as it has such a fun vibe. It's clear that the hosts are having a great time, and many feel that it's a great show to listen to just when you want some friendly voices in your ears.
Photo courtesy of Nancy Podcast
This podcast uses an interview format to talk to people from the LGBTQ community, whether that's big names or just everyday people, living their lives. Co-hosts Kathy Tu and Tobin Low make every episode fun and interesting, creating a light-hearted vibe that's easy to listen to.
“You'll want to make sure that you tune in, as they speak to people that aren't usually put in the spotlight,” says blogger James Farmer, from Essay Services and Custom Writing Services. “That lets you hear stories that you may never have heard before.” In recent episodes, you'll hear about the lives of black trans people, the gay and lesbian island kingdom in Australia, and much more besides.
Buffering the Vampire Slayer
Photo courtesy of Apple Podcasts
Who doesn't love a good recap podcast? This podcast takes queer favorite Buffy The Vampire Slayer as its inspiration, watching one episode of the show and dissecting it in every podcast episode. The hosts also aren't afraid to get into deeper themes like queerness, gender, the patriarchy, and more.
As well as the episodes, the hosts have even created their very own fan songs about the show, too. These are all on Spotify, so you can go listen to them if that interests you.
Lovett or Leave It Podcast
Photo courtesy of Apple Podcasts
This show is hosted by Jon Lovett, an openly gay MC who takes you through the weekly news cycle and makes it less stressful and even funny to listen to. He's joined by a rotating cast of guests each week, all who contribute to the antics going on.
These are just a few of the best LGBTQ podcasts out there right now. Take a listen to learn and laugh with the hosts, and maybe find your new favorite show.
As Thailand continues to relax its Covid-era entry requirements and affordable luxury remains as prevalent as ever, Southeast Asia’s LGBT-friendliest nation couldn’t be more appealing for a romantic wellness getaway in 2022. The Land of Smiles, whose economy depends heavily on tourism, consistently devised creative pandemic solutions that have protected its population throughout the global crisis while still allowing travelers safe entry to the natural bounty and rich culture that has long made it a bucket-list destination, better positioning the country to welcome back a steady influx of guests anxious to escape the most emotionally draining two years of their lives. Whether your ideal Thai-tinerary is set on the Andaman Sea to the west, the Gulf of Thailand to the east, or in the central capital of Bangkok, here is where to stay to find romance or wellness on a restorative vacation this year.
COMO Private Villa
Photo courtesy of COMO Point Yamu
The dazzle of Phuket’s picturesque coastline and neighboring islands is undeniable, and a stay at one of COMO Point Yamu’s private hillside villas overlooking Phang Nga Bay offers exclusive respite between days spent at each. From indulgent baths for two in your spa bathroom’s soaking tub to champagne sips at sunset in your private infinity pool overlooking the bay, you could easily sequester yourselves in serene seclusion at the property but do at least step out to explore a couples treatment at COMO Shambala spa. For the ultimate romance on the water, splurge on a private yacht charter from Blue Voyage Thailand to explore some of the region’s best beaches and islands while your personal crew prepares drinks and bites throughout the journey. If you have an important question to ask your special someone on this vacation, the stunning sunsets at sea provide an ideal backdrop!
Partially under development on the island’s interior, the sprawling Tri Vananda wellness community primarily offers luxurious private homes on its 230+ acres of mature nature (only 15% will be developed and no vehicles are allowed—it’s strictly golf carts here), but it’s already offering wellness retreats that allow you to take advantage of its integrative wellness programs, wetland nature reserve, all-organic farm, and world-class restaurant, Jamba, which serves artful plates of zero-waste recipes from Iron Chef Thailand winner Rick Dingen. Here, you’ll find a lush paradise within Phuket rarely discovered by the flocks of tourists who spend their days entirely on the sands and sea around the island’s famed coastline, and you may find new sides of yourselves, too.
Soneva Kiri private villa
Photo courtesy of Soneva Kiri
Just off Thailand’s eastern coast in the Gulf of Thailand, the tiny island of Koh Kood is home to dozens of accommodations, but the unrivaled luxury of Soneva Kiri brings superior romance that won’t be topped elsewhere. Book the property’s charter jet to arrive at the tiny outdoor airport on Koh Mai Si before a quick boat ride to the resort’s welcome pier for maximum exclusivity. From here, check in to a personal beachfront villa that not only contains your own stretch of sand on a quiet bay, but comes equipped with private outdoor living space that includes covered dining and kitchenette; a full-service outdoor spa bathroom including two outdoor showers, a whirlpool tub, and massage chaise; and sprawling decks with soft and hard seating along a swimming pool larger than many homes (consider booking a floating meal here for a truly special experience). While you’ll never feel crowded by the property’s other guests, you can escape them entirely with a meal in Soneva Kiri’s signature treepod. Hoisted to the canopy in an oversize bamboo nest enveloping your table, your meal here is delivered by acrobatic servers on a zipline as you gaze out from the treetops across the water, equally inspiring by day or night.
Relax and rejuvenate at RAKxa
Photo courtesy of RAKxa Wellness and Medical Retreat
Bangkok may be better known for bustling activity and raucous nightlife than for wellness and tranquility, but Bang Krachao, just 30 minutes from the city center is an artificial river island oasis known locally as the “green lung of Bangkok,” and here you’ll find a wellness facility unlike any other. The brand new RAKxa Wellness & Medical Retreat experience is an ultra-personal journey that begins with comprehensive health assessments including medical consultations, wellness consultations, and a fitness assessment. From here, an individualized program ranging from interdisciplinary spa treatments to medical wellness regimens like cryotherapy and hyperbaric oxygen therapy is scheduled around your mindful meals and relaxation among the gardens, by the pool, or in your villa retreat.
Villas are designed for total tranquility by day with open spaces, neutral tones, and private gardens complete with grounding trails, and the villa’s smart system monitors not just temperature, but humidity, carbon dioxide level, and air quality for an ideal interior. The discrete kitchenette is stocked with a daily regimen of teas and juice boosters to regulate body and mind throughout the day, and blackout curtains surround the plush bedroom for uninterrupted sleep (even the smart system’s screen comes with its own blackout hood for bedtime). Programs here can include as little as one night, but 5- and 7-night itineraries are more effective whether you have targeted goals or just want to completely reset and recharge together.
You’ll need to head back into the city in order to depart and, if Bangkok’s popular dinner cruises aren’t your style, opt for a swanky dinner aboard Sirimahannop, the permanently docked three-masted ship serving elegant meals with the charm of yesteryear and the culinary prowess of today. The chic experience is a perfect re-entry to the busy city that still offers enough privacy for a romantic farewell dinner in Thailand.
Club Skirts presents The Dinah — the annual music festival and pool party weekend and the largest lesbian event worldwide — is taking over Palm Springs from September 21st through the 25th.
Now celebrating its 31st year, the star-studded weekend will kick off a five-day party known to draw in upwards of 15,000 women from around the world.
This year, for the first time ever, the event will take place in Palm Springs’ most iconic hotel, The Margaritaville — formerly The Riviera — famous in the ’60s for its role as celebrity central, drawing the likes of Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Lucille Ball, Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, Sammy Davis Jr., and Sonny and Cher.
Photo courtesy of The Dinah
“I think it is definitely a rite of passage and a bucket list item,” said Mariah Hanson, ”and it’s a beacon in a way. I think that what we create there is so magical and so inspiring that you hear about it and you want to be a part of it because it’s life-changing.”
Hanson explained that the magic is intentional. She said along with her staff, they set to produce an event that is diverse, welcoming, and life-changing.
“We create a world for five days where people are united by the common theme of just acceptance and diversity and living in a world you want to live in,” Hanson said.
Hanson said she is proud to offer what she says is one of the “most diverse, inclusive, celebratory events.” She said The Dinah recognizes that our community is very diverse, and she wants everyone to feel welcome.
The festival includes various performances by nationally-renowned recording artists, massive pool parties with world-famous DJs and go-go dancers, red carpet events with celebrity guests and musicians, and meet-and-greets with lesbian celebrities.
The Dinah pool party
Photo courtesy of The Dinah
While in previous years, the Dinah events centered mostly on pool parties, the Dinah of the past decade has flawlessly amped up the pool parties, while also simultaneously becoming an enormous music festival, drawing in huge superstar artists over recent years, such as Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Chaka Khan, Meghan Trainor, Iggy Azalea, Eve, Salt ‘N Pepa and more, many of them while they were just on the cusp of hitting the big-time.
Hanson explained that she has a formula, a set of ever-changing criteria, that she uses to book acts. She has a knack for finding artists to perform at the Dinah who is on the cusp of enormous stardom.
“My favorite example is Lizzo, who headlined the Sunday afternoon pool party in 2017,” said Hanson. “Nobody really knew who she was, and she’s a major star now. No one will ever see her in that small of a venue.”
Hanson has another incredible all-female entertainment line-up again this year.
“I’m excited to offer the lineup we have. I think it’s powerful. It’s almost all queer except Taylor Dane, but she’s welcome because she’s so cool!” said Hanson.
Taylor Dane, 80s pop icon, is taking over the stage at Friday night’s Black & White Ball and is bringing her full band for a special Dinah performance. The GRAMMY-nominated powerhouse’s groundbreaking debut single "Tell It to My Heart" turned her into an overnight star in 1987. She followed the smash hit with 17 Top 20 singles including “Love Will Lead You Back.” Co-headlining Friday night is a breakout hip-hop artist, Haviah Mighty, who is poised to follow the footsteps of Lady Gaga, Bebe Rexha, Iggy Azalea, and Lizzo. She is the first Black woman to win the Polaris Music Prize.
On Saturday night’s Hollywood Party, Fletcher, one of the most electrifying queer artists to burst onto the scene, takes center stage. The GLAAD-nominated artist has a slew of hit singles including “Undrunk”, “Bitter”, “girls girls girls”, and “Cherry.” Her new single “Her Body is Bible” is out now and her debut album is being released this month.
“You don’t want to miss any of these acts,” Hanson said.
Club Skirts The Dinah pool party
Photo courtesy of The Dinah
All of the weekend’s pool parties, night parties, and concerts will take place at the Margaritaville. The opening and closing parties will both be held at AsiaSF, a new hotspot to both kick-start and close the weekend.
Hanson said she is excited for the Dinah this year and hopes it will, as always, be an amazing experience for all who attend.
Hanson said her message for attendees, other than to pace themselves, is always the same.
“Don’t be afraid to meet new people. Don’t be afraid to reach out and share your stories and listen to other people's stories because there’s people from all over the world coming.”
Hanson negotiated some great rates with the host hotel, Margaritaville, and it currently has a waiting list. Email firstname.lastname@example.org to get the Dinah discount and to add your name to the waiting list.
For more information and for tickets, please visit The Dinah.