The Adoption Option

By Megan Wadding, March 2016 Issue.

The former “Kyle XY” star Matt Dallas and his husband Blue Hamilton have a newly adopted son. The couple introduced 2-year-old Crow to the world via their YouTube channel in December and the party of three has been documenting their adventures via social media ever since.

Dallas was born and raised in Phoenix, but lived in Los Angeles when he and Hamilton, who originally hails from Colorado, met through mutual friends in Hollywood. Together, they moved back to Phoenix two years ago to be closer to their families and to begin the process of starting their own.

Last summer, the couple was married in Arizona – less than a year after the state they call home ruled in favor of marriage equality.

Paternal Instinct

The handsome hubbies acknowledged that, individually, they both always knew they wanted to have children one day.

“For me, I think I always kind of knew I wanted to be a dad,” Hamilton said. “In my 20s, it wasn’t something I focused on. It wasn’t until I hit 30 that I started feeling the need to raise a child.”

Dallas echoed his husband’s sentiment.

“[Being a father is] something that I’ve always dreamed about since I was a kid,” Dallas said. “I knew it would happen eventually. In my 30s, it really became a priority.”

After they were engaged, Hamilton recalled, they began discussing starting a family in a serious way. At first, they assumed they would use surrogacy to start their family.

“Once we stared doing research and learning the numbers of foster children without homes and just seeing them age out of the foster system and become 18 and they’re orphans for life, it just got to us,” Hamilton said. “We realized that we could do a great deal for these children and that we should adopt.”

After taking a closer look into both the foster system and adoptions, Hamilton explained that they mutually decided that adopting a child would be the best route for them.

“At that point, we couldn’t bring another child into the world when there are so many children [who] need homes,” Dallas said. “We knew we would love [our child] the same no matter what.”

Left to right: Blue, Crow and Matt celebrated their first Christmas as a family in 2015. Photo courtesy of twitter.com/bluehamilton.

Fostering First

Before the dads-to-be began the process of becoming foster parents, they were already in agreement that their ultimate goal was to eventually adopt a child into their family.

From there, the couple went through a mandated training session and completed a detailed checklist to prepare them and their home for the best and worst case scenarios of fostering.

“It wasn’t difficult to become a foster parent, but there is a lot involved in it. When you’re going down the checklist it feels like a lot, but it’s really not,” Dallas explained. “I think the biggest thing for us was trying to figure out if we were going to be doing a good thing for this child. It’s more important than checking your water heater or preparing your house. It was definitely a little bit of self-reflection. But ultimately, it is all relatively simple and all so worth it in the end.”

Once licensed, the couple researched many adoption agencies, including some that they knew right away would not work out for them as a gay couple. It had to be a perfect fit before they would commit, they recalled.

Eventually, the decision was made to proceed with the Arizona’s Children Association (AzCA). According to Hamilton, being a family of two dads presented no issue when becoming a foster parent.

“When we met with Arizona’s Children [Association], it just felt like the right fit. A lot of the people who work there are gay, too, so that helped us feel like there wasn’t any judgment or discrimination,” Hamilton said. “We had gone to other agencies who didn’t shut the door in our faces, but who also wouldn’t cater to us. [AzCA] really opened their doors to the LGBTQ community.”

Meet Crow

Late last summer, the newly married couple received a call from their adoption agency announcing that there was a little boy ready to enter their home as a foster child.

Both Dallas and Hamilton agreed that the moment they first saw this little boy, as he sat in the back of the case manager’s minivan, they knew he would be their son.

“We walked around the van and looked into the windshield and he locked eyes with us,” Hamilton said. “We both stopped and he gave us this huge smile. It was pretty special. We both looked at each other and were like, ‘We’re not giving this one up.’”

According to Dallas, the normal six-month trial period before a couple is allowed to adopt a child was “sort of expedited” for them, for which he credits the agency for recognizing that Crow was the “right fit” for this home.

“The process went pretty quickly,” Hamilton said. “It was just meant to be.”

Both Dallas and Hamilton agree that, overall, adopting went much more easily than either had expected.

“We had known people that had adopted and we heard nightmare stories about the Department of Child Safety, so we went in a little reluctantly,” Dallas said. “But it ended up being pretty smooth sailing. Everyone that we encountered [was] great … and very professional. They all really cared about the kids."

Photos courtesy of twitter.com/themattdallas.

Becoming A Family

As of today, Crow has been in his new home for nearly nine months. In December, Crow celebrated his second birthday, between two other important holidays: right after his adoption was finalized and just before his first Christmas with his new family.

“The most surprising thing for me was how adding him to our family felt like the missing piece that we didn’t know was missing,” Dallas said. “We were happy before, but now that we have him in our home, I feel like we didn’t even know what happy was. He has elevated our family and our relationship to a whole new level.”

The dads have not ruled out the possibility of having more children in the future, Hamilton added. They have not closed the door on surrogacy either.

“I think we would love to add to our family even more. But right now, we’re just taking it day by day and enjoying [our] new addition,” Hamilton said. “We’re open to whatever the future has for us.”

Back To Business

Dallas found fame when he starred on the ABC Family hit show “Kyle XY,” which aired from 2006 to 2009. Hamilton is an accomplished singer/songwriter.

When they’re not keeping busy exploring life with their son, Hamilton said they’re “both still working in the creative realm,” which includes new projects that have not yet been announced.

However, the couple’s new YouTube channel offers viewers a glimpse into their family life as well as their ventures in the entertainment business.

We’re continuing to produce content for [our YouTube channel],” Dallas said. “And [Hamilton] is continuing to make music. I’ll continue in the television world.”

Follow the adventures of Crow and his dads on their YouTube channel: "matt + blue."

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