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Tame that mane

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For some time now, the rage over beards has been wild. We’ve all had one growing up, right? But really, having a beard in the gay community has become incredibly popular. That scruffy, natural “manliness” that just pours off guys who have ‘em can be relentless…woof, is it hot in here?

We can’t get enough of them! And if you or your guy has one, like anything else, you’ve got to learn how to take care of it.

It may seem like a bit of a gimmick, but the truth about beard oils is backed by science. Think of beard oils and balms as a conditioner for your beard. Just like you’d use on the hair on your head (or not if you’re rocking that bald and beautiful look), conditioning your hair is important!

Ingredients like jojoba, castor, and argan oils are essential for promoting hair growth, moisturizing, and taking care of your skin as well. They’re packed with vitamins, like B and E, and minerals, like zinc and copper, that keep your beard looking fresh and healthy. They kind of make a protective barrier for your beard, which is pretty cool in itself.

But choosing the best beard care products for you can be SO overwhelming! Especially with every dime-a-dozen, hella macho, lumberjack-looking barista-type brand that’s out there. Sometimes you just want something that’s more inclusive and supportive of both your queer lifestyle and your beard. And I know you’ve been asking, so we did a little research to help you out.

No need for thanks, we gotcha.

Here’s 5 of the best beard care products that also are created by or support the LGBTQIA+ community.

​NOTO Botanics

line of beard grooming products.

Noto Botanics

photo credit via Noto Botanics IG

Founded and owned by Gloria Noto (queer makeup artist and overall badass) in 2016, Noto Botanics was created with a few things in mind. To create a radical, fun, and reliable product that promotes self-acceptance, sustainability, and queerness.

Exploring the intersection of clean beauty in a way that’s exploratory and profound, while also being made vegan.

In particular, we love the Rooted and Agender Oils, to be used as an everyday beard oil. Lavender, hemp, and sunflower oils are all excellent for beard health and also add an overall sexy scent.

Shop Noto Botanics

Bathing Culture

person holding a bottle of Outer Being Face & Body Oil

Outer Being Face & Body Oil

photo courtesy of Bathing Culture

Tim Hollinger and Carl “Spencer” Arnold, had been life-long friends, living in Northern California, and started making soap in 2015. Trying to escape their office jobs desperately, their focus turned to giving back and taking better care of the planet through bathing.

Sustainably and locally sourced ingredients and mindfully crafted, Bathing Culture is the perfect way to up your bath and beard care game.

In the beard care category, their Outer Being Face and Body Oil take the cake. Drenched with antioxidants and fatty amino acids, essential vitamins C and E, and plenty of minerals; it’s hard to not use this on every inch of your body.

But, for the time being, take a few dabs and run it through that face mane of yours…or someone you fancy.

You won’t be disappointed.

Shop Bathing Culture


bottle of That Good Good Argan Oil Serum.

That Good Good Argan Oil Serum

photo courtesy of Hairrari

What started as a two-seat, gender-neutral barbershop (aptly named Manetamed) in Williamsburg, Hairrari has branched out into a queer powerhouse of inclusivity with its products and hairstyling.

With a realized goal of providing a safe space for anyone to get their hair cut and styled, founder Magda Ryczko has been changing the field one snip at a time.

Their product line includes a variety of pomades, sprays, clays, and serums, but one of our favorites in terms of beard care is That Good Good Argan Oil Serum. With Argan (obviously) and Macadamia oils leading the charge, a few drops will have your beard feeling smooth and refreshed. Don’t believe us?

Try it, we dare ya.

Shop Hairrari


woman in a white shirt holding a bottle of tonic spray.

Tonic Spray

photo courtesy of Rudy's Barbershop

When Rudy’s Barbershop was founded in 1993 in Seattle by Alex Calderwood, David Petersen, and Wade Weigel, they wanted two things: to have a place to hang with their friends and cut hair. And they definitely accomplished that, but with a little twist.

They also saw how the classic barbershop model had done some things right but wasn’t all that welcoming for everyone. Their new model for Rudy’s put an emphasis to include everyone with a capital E. They’ve also been a long-time supporter of the It Get’s Better Project – helping homeless LGBTQ+ youth.

So we gave a welcome hat off to Rudy’s and dove straight for their Tonic Spray. The essence of Nettle and Baobab Seed relaxes the beard follicles and helps tame that wild beast!

Gotta bring a little order to those wild locks, boys!

Shop Rudy's Barbershop

Alder New York

person holding a bottle of Alder's Hydrating Oil.

Alder's New York Hydrating Oil

photo courtesty of Alder's New York

Nobody ever said that being a woman and a queer-owned skincare company in Brooklyn would be easy. But that hasn’t stopped anyone here. Since its inception in 2016, Alder has been thriving as a top-tier, vegan, dermatologist-approved skincare line.

Their products focus on the simplicity of taking care of your skin and hair. And truly, it’s all in the details.

For our bearded friends, we’ll turn you to their Hydrating Oil. Jojoba oil and essence of lime and rosemary. Lather a few bits of this into your beard and let it do all the work. Lush, refined, irresistible.

It’s really that easy. As it should be.

Shop Alder's New York

How to talk about transgender issues

So how do we talk about transgender issues (even if you're not transgender)? There are three main things to remember when discussing transgender issues today, so before getting into the meat and potatoes of it all, let's keep these things in mind:

  1. It is not a political discussion, it is a human rights discussion.
  2. There is a rich history rooted in transgender rights that must be considered when discussing these issues.
  3. Humanization should always be at the forefront of the conversation.

Before going into any conversation, no matter who it's with, try to keep these things in mind before you say something that may be inappropriate, misguided, or just plain wrong. Even those with the best intentions can mess up; remember that it is always ok to admit when you do not know something or when you are wrong. That being said, let's get into it.

sign with a 'friendly for all genders' image showing a person in a wheelchair, and a person with half a dress and pants on.

Transgender bathroom bills


So whether you choose to become a transgender activist or if you just want to be a better ally, this easy talking point will generally keep you in line and on the safe side of conversations while still putting forth the effort to encourage and better represent transgender rights.

Easy, all-around approach: This will work for almost all transgender issues and expand on the previous three rules; firstly, trans issues are not a debate. When discussing with someone, do not indulge in hypotheticals and always remember that transgender people are the exact same as anyone else, with the exact same feelings. Keeping this in mind, let's use the bathroom bill as an example. When discussing this issue, one should humanize, de-politicize, and normalize the conversation. How does one employ this, though? Here is an example of how the conversation may go.

Person 1: I don't want men in the women's restroom, they will rape my daughters.

So this statement is clearly based on reactionary conversation perpetuated by anti-transgender ideals. This means that the person probably has a misconception of the history and oppression of transgender people. They also show concern for their family, which is a step towards humanization, despite the misconception. Here would be an appropriate response that helps to humanize, de-politicize, and normalize the conversation.

Person 2: I don't want men in the women's restroom, either, which is why we need to make sure people who identify as women are using the women's restroom. There has never been a documented case where a transgender person has raped either a man or woman in a public restroom. And by forcing people to use a restroom that does not match their gender identity, it is promoting violence, as there is a strong history of physical violence against transgender people.

By only saying about three sentences, you are able to do the previous steps while discussing the issue in a civil manner without opening it up to debate. The key to this is to keep it short and sweet, stating both the truth and an ally's stance to support the transgender community. It's critical to make sure that what you say is backed with confidence, though, which is why this second approach is more encouraged as it gives the person speaking more confidence in their opinion.

gif of a man in a suit talking about number 1. Number 1 GIF by PragerU Giphy

The second approach: backed by facts and history, is the exact same as before, but this approach leaves the other person with more questions about their stance and gives them something to consider. Before going into this approach, however, it is important to keep in mind that you are not debating the existence of trans people, nor are you trying to change someone's mind. That is not the goal; the goal is simply to get your opinion across in a way that honors both the trans community and their ideas. Let's take the same example as before but add the new sentiments.

Person 1: I don't want men in the women's restrooms, they will rape my daughters.

Person 2: There has never been a documented case of a transgender person raping anyone in a public restroom, and the only published cases of such were proven to be false. Further, when people say things like this, they are perpetuating violence against transgender people, which has historically (and still does) oppressed and insight further physical violence against them. And honestly, the most common reason there is this stance is because the person typically does not know a trans person and may not even know a person who does know a trans person. But the truth is, they probably do. The probability is more likely that the transgender people around them are just not comfortable enough in the environment to come out and speak up about their gender identity. And yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but it is quite sad that some people's opinion does not invite civil discussion but instead incites violence.

This approach is more confrontational, which requires more confidence when using it in a conversation, but it still holds true to all of the previous rules and sentiments. It adds truth based on history, which is an important aspect of trans rights as it reminds people of where we were/ where we are currently with human rights. These ideas can be transferred to most all trans issues and will honor the transgender movement and your allyship. The last thing to keep in mind is the person or reason you are standing up for/with trans rights. The passion -the compassion will shine through in conversation if you keep your reasoning close to heart. Whether it is because of a transgender friend, family member, or just because of your moral values, if you put your emotions into your reasoning, it will create more compelling statements, especially if the statement is well versed with the facts.

Tips to Remember When Discussing Transgender Issues

  1. Transgender issues are not political, they are human rights issues
  2. There is a rich history behind transgender issues
  3. Humanize transgender people through our words and ideas and don't forget to include:
    • 3(b). The facts
    • 3(c).The confidence
    • 3(d). The inspiration behind the support for transgender rights

Transgender Sign in Pride Parade

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