We obviously kick things off with the second hour of this two hour debacle, I mean debut. If you missed the first hour that CMT premiered last month, you’re one of the lucky ones. Here’s hoping the next hour will redeem the episode.

Since Connie Britton told Ellen Degeneres that she was going to be staying with Nashville for the duration of the show, it changes a bit of the expectation for how the program would proceed without her. I, for one, am glad she is staying. Rayna is one of the better characters on Nashville. However, if you wanted to replace her with a young, hot Deacon look-alike, I would also be okay with that.

Anyway, Scarlett and Gunnar are still plagued by the meddling Autumn, who wants Gunnar back on tour with her. Well, you knew they would have to find some plotline to keep these two apart.

It’s Will’s birthday and his hottie boyfriend, Kevin, is taking him out for dinner. A clothes designer bigwig approaches them and commends Wilma on his dealing with that Ann Coulter Clone Cynthia Davis. The designer, Jacob Fine, then invites Will to one of his trunk shows (while dismissing Kevin) and then leans over and blows out the candle on Will’s piece of birthday cake. Designer guy then says “I hope it comes true.” WOW. Someone has been hanging out in East Nashville finding the worst hipster pickup lines ever.  Despite being at the restaurant with Kev, Wilma is interested in Jacob. Do NOT make Kevin another Layla, Will!

Rayna returns to Nashville in high spirits and is ready for some new ideas and music. She wants to do a concept album of her love story with Deacon— with Deacon.  She takes that energy to the office and wants to kick her promotion of The Chex Mixes (what I lovingly call Gunnar and Scarlett’s duo The Exes) into high gear. Rayna wants to release “All of Me” as their next single and our little Skinny isn’t so sure. All of the second guessing and pouty looks from Scarlett is getting to be more than old, it’s ancient. Find something more than brooding over her love life to do!

Kevin tries to talk Will into going to Jacob’s trunk show and even manages drop “Belle Meade” into the conversation. He thinks Jacob could be Will’s stylist and hopefully pick up some new designer duds for him in the process. Kevin is my new favorite person on this show, ya’ll.

While Rayna is all gung ho about her concept album, Bucky is not. Deacon hasn’t exactly been dropping downloads like hotcakes recently. Rayna thinks it’s worth the risk and the Buckster has no choice but to back it up. As she leaves the office, she gets a call from that computer mucky muck, Zach Wells, who is coming to Nashville – and WHO CALLED IT? Me. He wants to do some business in the music industry and wants to talk to Rayna about it.

Okay, CMT. Here is the deal. Part of the reason Nashville was dropped from ABC is because it was incredibly predictable. Can we work on that? K, thanks. Good talk. By the way, if you can do something about Scarlett’s accent, that would be greaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.

Anywho, Deacon feels the same way as Bucky about Rayna’s concept album idea. He knows he isn’t a huge draw and it doesn’t feel right to him. The past year, for him, has been a real shit show and he doesn’t want to relive it. Welcome to the club, Deacon.

Scarlett goes to whine to Deacon about how she is waiting for something to screw up her relationship with Gunnar because it has been going so perfectly that she can’t relax. Deacon tells her about the concept album and Scrawny is all about it, but Deacon decides to take a gig playing session guitar on an album Avery is producing for an up and coming artist. Rayna isn’t thrilled because she wanted him to start work on the concept album.

Juliette is still pissed off at everyone and everything and is taking it out on Avery. If Juliette lived alone, she would have to purchase one of those lifelike human dolls so she could take out all of her aggression on something resembling a human. She tells Avery she isn’t going to go out in public, so she wants him to find the woman who found her after the plane crash to thank her. When Avery tries to tell her she is beautiful and brave, she snaps back with “Forget it. I’ll do it.” Anyone else wish the plane crash outcome might have been just a little different?

Scar Scar and Gunn Gunn are going to perform their new single, “All of me” on the Shawn Parr radio show. Scarlett asks Gunnar who the song is about since he wrote it while they were apart. Gunnar says it isn’t about anybody and when paranoid, annoying Scarlett pushes him further, it pisses him off and he walks away. While he’s walking, he is more than welcome to take his cute, tight-jeaned butt over to my place. I would be totally okay with that.

Will gets to the trunk show and immediately feels out of place. Just as he decides to back out, Jacob finds him and takes him to a room where they are alone and Will can try on jackets. Jacob immediately begins to come onto him and kiss him. Even though he likes Jacob, Will admits he’s seeing Kevin and Jacob takes it well enough. He does say the offer is open if he ever changes his mind. Hubba hubba.

Scarlett throws a fit and tells Gunnar she doesn’t want to perform their single on the radio because it has bothered her every time she has ever had to sing it with him. Paranoid Scarlett is insisting that every woman he had a romantic relationship with since she turned down his marriage proposal was his way of throwing it in her face. And the song makes her want to “slap the living hell out of” him. Hey, Gunnar, I’ll slap the hell out of you, too, if that’s what you’re into. I also do not have a bad southern accent.

Rayna catches Deacon writing a song and before they end up arguing about the album again, Deacon says he is living in her world. He has no world of his own and wants to do things on his own terms, but he will buckle to her wishes every time. Rayna obviously feels uncomfortable with this situation and leaves the room.

So, Scarlett and Deacon meet up for breakfast and Deacon tries to counsel her on not being a jerk to Gunnar about the past. Thankfully Deacon was giving the advice to and not getting it from our Sherpa Scarlett.

Emily gets Juliette to the church where they last saw the woman who Juliette is searching for. They meet the minister of the church who says he knows the woman and will have her get in touch with Juliette. Her name is Halley and Juliette just wants to tell her thank you for saving her life. Wow, maybe this Halley woman will be the first person Juliette doesn’t treat like crap. The preacher then tells her that God has a plan for her. If that plan involves sterilization, I am on board.

Before going on the Shawn Parr show, Scarlett makes up with Gunnar and they perform the dreaded single. There is a line in the song that Gunnar sings about golden eyes looking back at him, but he instead sings it with the words “blue eyes looking back…” just for Skinny. Barf.

Will bought one of Jacob’s jackets for Kevin and even though Kevin asks if anything happened with the designer, Will changes the subject. He asks Will to move in with him and get a place of their own. Yeah, Wilma isn’t ready for that.

Rayna goes to Deacon (after he sends her flowers) and apologizes for being a pushy jerk. Then, Deacon responds with the first song he wrote for the concept duets album called (I’m guessing) “It’s As Simple As That.” It makes Rayna tear up and makes the rest of us wish we were her. But, when Rayna thanks him for the flowers (with a card that read “For the only women I’ve ever loved”) he claims he never sent her any.

Then, we see someone spying on Rayna as she goes to her office (which is now mysteriously located in downtown Nashville) and whoever is watching her is doing so from a cracked windshield. So, a little hint for CMT. If you want to set things up to be daunting, a cracked window isn’t that terrifying. You might go for a more Game of Thrones approach. Just a thought.

And that is all for this week, my sweet cherubs. See you back in fake Nashville next week.

See also:

NASHVILLE recap: "The Wayfaring Stranger (Part 1)" (Season 5 Episode 1)

NASHVILLE recap: "The Wayfaring Stranger (Part 2)" (Season 5 Episode 1B)

NASHVILLE recap: "Let's Put It Back Together Again" (Season 5 Episode 3 -- Ep1 Pt2 was Ep 2)