With Noah and Glenn in tow, Juliette is whisked off to the hospital in an ambulance after her collapse during a show on her tour. Zoey immediately calls Avery to let him know about the drama.  It seems Juliette had a blood clot in her leg that moved to her lungs.

Across town, at the Hermitage Café, Gunnar is having baby mama drama of his own when he confronts Kylie for not telling him her son is his. She actually skipped town because she learned she was pregnant and her controlling parents kept her from Gunnar. And she still plans on skipping town with the kiddo to live with her new man candy.

CMA nominations are coming out and, speaking of coming out, Will’s beard Layla shows up with the trusty reality show cameras to surprise him and watch the announcement with him at his tour stop. So as Robin Roberts and Sara Evans on Good Morning America are making the announcements, they all gather around the TV. ABC is good at those shameless plugs. Or bad, I guess.

Here are your fakety Nashville CMA nominations:

New Artist of the Year: Will (intense eye roll from the beard when he cheers. If he wins, they could dub it New Artist of the Queer), some other people whose names are inaudible AND….Sadie Stone (who just got a record deal last week)

Female Vocalist of the Year: Miranda Lambert, Taylor Swift, & Rayna

Male Vocalist of the Year: Puke

Musical Event of the Year: Rayna and Luke’s doofy song “Ball and Chain”

Single of the Year: “This Time” by Rayna James and “It’s On Tonight” by Luke

Album of the Year: The Parts I Remember by Rayna James and some inaudible album name by Luke

Song of the Year: Gunnar for writing something-or-other

Entertainer of the Year: Luke, Miranda Lambert, Rayna, Luke Bryan, and Keith Urban

Sadie and Rayna are watching the CMA noms together and as soon as they’re announced, Luke calls Rayna — and then he talks. What have I told those Nashville writers about allowing Luke to talk? He needs to just stand there and look pretty. Anyway, it seems he is flying Sara Evans out to sing with him for his show that night to begin his unashamed campaigning for CMA trophies.

In more shameless ABC plugging, Bucky suggests to Rayna that the couple sing their duet on Dancing with the Stars’ country music night. Rayna doesn’t like the idea now that it seems her success is all thanks to their coupledom. So she agrees to do the gig without Luke. Best decision she has made since, well, ever. But it’s a no go. Dancing with the Stars wants Ruke and not Rayna. So she calls the show’s grand poobah and promises to debut her new single on the show and gets her solo spot.

LITERALLY adding insult to injury, Juliette learns that she has received one CMA nomination from her hospital bed—and that was for Song of the Year, a nod she is sharing with Avery because they were co-writers on the song. Instead of throwing a typical Juliette hissy fit, she tells Glenn she survived the blood clot and her baby is healthy, so she considers it a very good day. When did Juliette start thinking clearly and logically all of the sudden? Pregnancy brain can do weird things to us gals, I guess. But before she can continue, Avery shows up. Just as they began to chat, Noah arrives with flowers. (#TEAMNOAH!!) Assuming Juliette has moved on with Noah, Avery bolts.

So … instead of going to his girlfriend with the news of his kid, Gunnar takes his business over to Scarlett. Scarlett advises him to become pals with the kid in the short amount of time the little rugrat is in town. Then she heads on over to greet her homeless pal Bubba from Forrest Gump to thank him for making her song better. He refuses charity when she offers to make him dinner and do his laundry, so she says he can clean Deacon’s gutters. In the meantime, Gunnar heads over and talks Kylie into letting him spend the day with his kid while she packs for their big move to Tulsa.

Scarlett keeps up her end of the bargain when the gutters are clean and cooks Terry a meal and does his laundry (if she didn’t eat some of the meal, so help me…) and as they talk she learns he used to sing the blues professionally and it’s a rough spot he obviously doesn’t want to discuss. She then brings up a photo of his family she found and it sets him off, where he pulls a Deacon/Juliette/Avery and storms off yelling “It’s none of your damn business.” Bonus: he left his plate of food on the porch unfinished. There’s plenty left, Scarlett… take a little bite or two for Auntie Angela.

Jeff is still kissing Teddy’s ass and using his local hoochie gal pals to reel him in. At a dinner that night, Jeff’s puppets begin the dinner small talk to put the idea in Teddy’s head that his daughters should have a record deal. Teddy is the mayor of Nashville. Please do not tell me he is THAT stupid.

Apparently, he is. While Teddy is out getting taken advantage of, Maddie must take Daphne along on an outing with Luke’s son, Colt, which leads them to throwing a teenage party at Teddy’s house, which Daphne knows is a no no. When she freaks out over a fight that breaks out, she tries to call daddy Teddy, who is too busy getting his ass kissed and skinny dipping to hear his phone going off. Later, Jeff admits those hoochies were really ho's.

When Teddy gets home, the police have busted Maddie’s party. And who called the cops? Daphne. I mean it. Daph Daph is truly growing on me. Maddie, however, dropped in my esteem. At the party, she kissed Colt.

Deacon is still shagging Pam on the Puke, errr… Luke and Will and Deacon tour and he’s even started writing a song she inspired him to create. But when he is on stage ready to perform it, the audience begins chanting for Luke and Will to take the stage. So, he gives them what they want and stomps off. And he thinks Luke is a diva… Pam agrees and calls him out on his whiney bitch attitude.

Will’s beard Layla has taken to hitting the bottle (how very Avery of her) and when Will calls her out on it, he asks her to please just not act like a psychopath for the last day of shooting their reality show. Her response? “Doesn’t drama make for good TV?” Touche, Layla. Touche. Maybe she should watch Nashville?

At the Will/Luke/Deacon show after party, she is straight-up, "status: Avery" and starts mouthing off in front of the reality cameras. Will manages to get her to stumble out before she drops the G-bomb. But not to worry, Deacon steps in and saves the day by playing Pam’s song for the after-party crowd. (I am rolling my eyes like they will come out of my ears right now.) However, the redeeming part is that it pisses Luke off. Silver linings, people.

Juliette has some condition I can’t even begin to think of attempting to spell or pronounce. But in a nutshell, her doctor described it as an increased tendency to form abnormal blood clots. She was born with the condition, but it sometimes only rears its ugly head during pregnancy. It means that she can still film her movie and go home, but she can’t tour. Noah is there for the whole thing and tells her she doesn’t have to go through it alone. So… Avery who?

When Juliette eventually does find Avery, she happens upon Zoey, too. Juliette fires Zoey for taking center stage after her collapse, despite the fact that the tour has been canceled anyway. She then tells Avery she kept the baby because it was his and she is still hoping they have a chance. (#TEAMNOAH) She tells him she will handle the bun in the oven situation with him all in or without him completely – and then left the ball in his court.

Rayna, Deacon and Luke fly to Nashville once they find out about Maddie and Colt’s po po party and they all decide they need to get a nanny. Are you kidding me? Teddy and Rayna are NOT the parentals of the year for a VERY good reason. Shirk responsibility and let someone else raise the kids! Like ya do. Shortly after, Teddy calls the prostitute for a little rendezvous, I am assuming.

We next find Avery going to Juliette and saying he forgives her, but he doesn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with her. He also says it’s not up to her if he gets to be a father to the baby.

We next see Gunnar pleading with Kylie to stay in town with his son, explaining Mika is the only family he has left and she agrees just in time for Zoey to walk in. Oh Zoey, just go. Walk away. A man who truly gives a crap for your feelings awaits somewhere in Music City!

The episode wraps with Juliette holding a press conference and tells the world she is prego- and that Avery is the baby daddy. Hey! I have an idea! Let’s get Juliette a nanny. Or at least one for Avery to knock the bottle out of his hand.

See also:

NASHVILLE recap: "Road Happy" (season 3 episode 5)

NASHVILLE recap: "Nobody Said It Was Going to Be Easy" (season 3 episode 6)

NASHVILLE recap: "I'm Coming Home to You" (season 3 episode 7)