Welcome back to Nashville, my lovelies! After a hiatus for Christmas and New Years, it’s time to return to our favorite fake Music City.

We first find Rayna where we left her— after calling off the wedding with Puke the morning of the nuptials, driving away in tears. Bucky calls and he’s already heard from Puke’s people and it might get publicly ugly very fast. And I am not talking about Scarlett on a midnight Krispy Kreme run.

Speaking of going on a run, Puke is so pissed, he runs his SUV into the lovely wedding preparations taking place in his front yard— including mowing down a wedding cake. Yes, I am a bit sad because it’s yet another cake Scarlett desperately needs but will not eat.

We next find Will and Layla the beard at the hospital where she is in stable condition. The doctor tells him she ingested copious amounts of pills and it’s a surprise to Will. He is visibly shaken by the realization she tried to commit suicide. Why can’t Puke get that idea in his head?!

In order to help Jeff avoid any legal trouble because of the pills he slipped Layla, Teddy is already working with Nashville’s finest to get him out of trouble, but it looks like the biggest predicament will be if Layla decides to press charges.

Juliette and Avery are basking in the glow of being newlyweds and are both acting like normal human beings. But it doesn’t last long when Avery begins moving his stuff in and she, naturally, hates all of it – including a stupid chair.

Gunnar is still playing daddy to his brother’s kid and it seems the kid can now somewhat play the guitar and sing. I wish we ALL could be naturally gifted enough to be able to strum the guitar alongside our award-winning songwriter uncles in just a matter of months. Plus, he still goes to court to fight the kid’s grandparents for custody

Creepy/sketchy Jeff finally gets to the hospital to check on Layla where is immediately confronted by Will. After chatting with Creeper, Will figures out his beard OD’d after spotting him at the party in bed with a hoochie mama. When he is able to go in and see her, she immediately tears into him and says his secret is killing her.

Speaking of killing, now that Sadie’s crazy ex is lurking around town and has given her a shiner, she doesn’t call the police or seek professional psychological help. No, she moseys on over to the pawn shop to get a handgun. Illegally. For famous people, they really do make some really stupid decisions. So, later, crazy comes back, pounding on her door apologizing and Sadie goes straight for the gun. Since he never tries to come in, she ends up on the floor sobbing, gripping the weapon. Later, she thankfully comes to her senses and files a restraining order.

Not wanting to let that cake rage go to waste, Puke hauls ass over to Deacon and Scarlett’s place, assuming Rayna will be there. It only takes Puke to barge in, looking for Rayna for it dawn on Deacon that Rayna left him. As Deacon shows him the door, Puke is his usual ass-self, saying he should have known better to “go sniffing around that bitch.” Well, do you really think Deacon or #TEAMDEACON was going to let that slide? They begin a hot man tussle in the front yard. Okay, I have lived in Nashville for close to 15 years and I have NEVER had two hot men wrestle in my front yard much less the likes of Luke Bryan and Tim McGraw. Somehow, scrawny Scarlett acquires some WWE-type feats of strength and pulls Deacon off of Luke.

When Rayna breaks the wedding news to Maddie, Daphne and Tandy, Maddie immediately begins grilling her about marrying Deacon instead. She and Daphne both pull a Juliette and stomp out of the room. But the bad news keeps rolling in when Luke sends over the bill for the wedding. Making matters even worse, video of Puke and Deacon’s tussle has made it to the internet and Rayna takes off to find Luke. As soon as she bails, Deacon shows up at Rayna’s house and Tandy tells him to take a hike.

Maddie calls up Colt (AKA Puke, Junior), advising his dad should leave Deacon alone and they argue. Oh, to be young, rich, talented and incredibly spoiled. Well, at least three of those apply to Colt.

At the courthouse, grandma is forcing Gunnar to tell Mikah the truth about who his father really is. When the kid finds out, he conveniently now wants to go live with grandparents and tearfully takes off. Later, he pours his heart out to Avery, who, in turn airs his Juliette grievances. Sweet Jaysus, he could go on for days. Years if you let me chime in. However, the topic quickly changed when Avery mentioned he married Juliette.

When Rayna does find Luke, he is using expensive bottles of wedding champagne for target practice. When she tries to apologize, he goes on a tangent about how she always did what was best for her including using him to boost her career. Once she gets home, she makes a statement to the press camped out in front of her gate. She tells them the decision to call off the wedding was mutual and she hopes they can stay friends.

In response, Luke decides to put on a free concert at his house for 500 of his fans, using the food and setup from the wedding to throw the party. They want to bill it as “Rayna jilts Luke and Luke throws a party to celebrate.” Seriously, can this guy just GO AWAY? I mean, his kids overhear the plan and even they are disgusted and leave.

At Nashville’s Harpeth Cancer Center, Scarlett waits as Deacon undergoes tests and learns he has a cancerous tumor on his liver. The only treatment is a liver transplant and Scarlett immediately volunteers her liver. Okay, isn’t there some sort of policy against malnourished people donating organs? Anyway, they don’t have the same blood type, so it can’t happen. (What are the odds in Vegas Maddie will be making the donation?) So, more bad news for Deacon – time is not on his side.

After further discussions with Will at the hospital, it becomes obvious to Jeff that Will and the beard need to divorce, so he goes to talk to their reality show producer. By looking at their surroundings, it seems the TV producer has an office at the Bellsouth Tower. He goes on to tell her he knows about the footage she has been using to blackmail the couple into staying on the program. Doing a little extortion of his own, he explains how her blackmailing them is part of Layla’s suicide attempt and it could ruin her career.

Luke’s kids make their way over to see Maddie and Daphne, who are now with daddy Teddy in order to keep them away from the Puke drama. Colt doesn’t waste any time in telling Maddie that they aren’t really family any longer. (That’s a HUGE red flag, Madster. That and he is Puke’s kid.)

Rayna returns home to learn Deacon stopped by and Tandy asks her if she is still in love with Deacon. Oh, GET REAL, Tandy. EVERYONE is in love with Deacon. EVERYONE.

Back at the hospital, Will tells Layla that Sketchy Jeff got her out of the reality show, the blackmail and, as a result, her marriage. So, Layla tells the police she OD’d on her own pills, clearing Jeff of any wrongdoing.

We end things with Rayna showing up on Deacon’s doorstep to explain why she called off the wedding. She admits she loves him and always has, but she said yes to Puke because she didn’t want to go through the pain Deacon had caused her. She asks him for a little time to get her head straight. Instead of explaining time isn’t on his side, he says she should take all the time she needs.

See also:

NASHVILLE recap: "First to Have a Second Chance" (season 3 episode 10)

NASHVILLE recap: "I'm Not That Good at Goodbye" (season 3 episode 11)

NASHVILLE recap: "I've Got Reasons to Hate You" (season 3 episode 12)