We pick right back up from where we left off with Puke in a pickle, Maddie in a mess and Autumn getting Gunnar’s goat.
Autumn is a horrible human being, so she might be Jeff’s replacement, ya’ll. Anyway, she knows James Taylor is Gunnar’s idol and invites him back to NYC with her because JT just happens to be her neighbor. When Gunnar mentions bringing Scarlett, Autumn has to mentally slap that boy in the head and explain she was hoping it would be just the two of them. Stop giving Cougars a bad name, Autumn!
Juliette is ready to work. AGAIN. So, she makes all nicey pants with Glenn and Emily so they will go back to being her faceless minions. She wants to start work on another album. The artists in fake Nashville make a LOT more albums than real artists. Juliette just released a new album like 6 episodes ago. Anyway, she wants Avery to produce it. My eye rolling is starting early today, kids!
Glenn then moseys over to his meeting with Victim (AKA: Layla) for more victimy news. She is not thrilled that Glenn is representing mega super duper bitch again. Welcome to the club, Victim. Welcome to the club. Anyway, they are going to be filming Layla’s performance on the debut Puke tour tonight.
When Juliette asks Avery to produce a few songs on her album, he conveniently has an excuse. Though he was initially not going, he tells her he’s going on tour as Victim’s bandleader. He’s starting tonight. So, not to be a dick, Avery, but you can’t take a baby on tour with Victim and Puke and Riff (who, by the way, is still missing). That’s crazier than a Tennessee GOP politician! But, that is exactly what he’s doing and Juliette volunteers Emily to go with him to spy for her. Oops, I mean to help take care of the kid.
While Deacon is ready to take out a restraining order against Cash, Rayna goes upstairs to find the little drama queen- and oh no- more teenage rebellion. The Maddster has flown the coop. Our hopes are dashed that she’s gone for good when she texts Rayna, saying she’s safe and that Deacon is crazy balls. Rayna takes off to Cash’s place to fetch the betch.
Autumn is still working her black magic on Skinny and Gunnar. She has invited Scarlett out to a girl’s day at the spa now that The Exes new single is a hit. The manipulation continues at the spa when Autumn tells Scarlett she thinks there is still a spark between her and Gunnar. Then, stupid Scarlett tells her there has always been something going on, but they fight it for the sake of the band.
Back in the studio, Will is cutting a funky groove and he (and I) notice a hottie on the other side of the sound board bopping along. The name of the song he’s singing? “Moving On Never Felt So Good.” Could we maybe get Avery to listen to that on repeat for a week or two? Oh- and the bopping hottie’s name is Brian. He is one of the backup singers for Wilma’s album and we soon find out he’s single and MAYBE gay. Good for Wilma, bad for me.
Because Riff still hasn’t shown up for the Puke tour, they are going to find another co-headliner. Of course it will be Juliette. Sigh. Foreseeable plotlines, Nashville…. How many times do we have to go over this? Anyway, Victim is afraid the show will be cancelled, so Avery suggests they film her sound check just in case.
Rayna dashes her way over to Cash’s place, waltzes in, does a very non-thorough check of the house and has a feisty exchange with Cash, who claims she has no idea where the brat is hiding. Maddie was hiding from her mom in the back of the house. Come on, Maddie- you could have gone anywhere and you choose the adult who prefers the company of a mopey teenager? But, Cash doesn’t just like Madds, she wants to help her. You see, Cash can’t help but wonder if Sony Music still wants to offer Maddie a contract. So, she is going to have her mucky muck friends check into it.
As news that Riff has been admitted to a hospital in New Orleans reaches Luke, Juliette moseys into Layla’s rehearsal. Victim is wearing a lacey pantsuit number and sidling up to Avery during a saucy little ditty. It seems Puke invited Juliette, but he obviously isn’t there to greet her.
In New Orleans, Riff has taken a page out of the Lamar Odom (NBA star still married to Khloe Kardashian) handbook and was admitted to the ICU by a hooker. They found his system full of booze, drugs and sexual performance boosting drugs and he had a stroke. Okay, folks. Nashville has hit an all-time low and gone all Kardashian on us. It’s time to bust out the hard liquor. I might go all Riff myself.
Juliette storms home, all mad and jealous of Avery and Layla. She essentially tells Emily she wants him back and then Emily suggests that maybe they weren’t meant to be. Well, it’s about damn time Captain Obvious (in the form of Emily) showed up. Take that advice, Juliette. Take it and run like the wind!
Speaking of Avery, Will calls him freaking out. It seems Wilma thinks Avery knows how to tell if a man is gay. Will, honey, give me a call. I’ve got one of the best gaydars in Davidson County proper and I am a PRIMO fruit fly. Anywho, Will works up the courage and asks cutie pants Brian out for a beer. As they chat, we learn Brian isn’t gay, but has a gay cousin to set him up with. Will begins to get smart about the dating scene and suggests they just stick to the music for awhile.
Rayna and Deacon are worried sick over Madds and Rayna calls him out on losing his temper. She doesn’t want to get the police involved because she doesn’t want the negative attention on her family. But she also doesn’t want Maddie to do what she did- run away because she had a livid father.
Cash’s digging into Maddie’s Sony deal has proven fruitful. Turns out they were going to make her the next Taylor Swift. Cash also learns that Edgehill wanted to sign Maddie, as well.
Now that Scarlett believes she and Autumn are besties, she urges Gunnar to get to know her better. Look, I know I said to do something with the Skinny and Gunn Gunn storyline, but I can literally think of 20 scenarios better than this.
Victim is trying to make it easy on the road for Avery, so she tricks out her tour bus with a recording studio and gives up her bedroom in the back for him, where she has had a crib installed. Avery is a bit overcome- he isn’t accustomed to someone putting his needs first. How is the real world feeling for you, Avery?
At a loss over where to find Maddie, Rayna next heads over to Juliette’s place where she commences to break down on the front porch. Maddie has been rebelling since Juliette pulled her on stage to perform together in Atlanta. They have a heart to heart where Juliette asks her how to let go of someone that you love. “You don’t,” Rayna replies.
Filling Riff’s shoes for the night is the REAL Thomas Rhett. As guessed, he’s a temporary fill and in strolls Juliette to talk to Puke, who has just returned from New Orleans. Juliette suggests she join his tour.
Gunnar makes his way to Autumn’s hotel room to tell her he can’t go to NYC because Scarlett looks up to Autumn and he doesn’t want to get in the way of that. Then, Autumn warns him to be careful of Sherpa Boo Boo because in duos, one always outshines the other. I do believe Autumn is the new Creepy, kids! Maybe she will ask Layla out. But… as Gunnar leaves her hotel room, he wipes the lipstick from Autumn’s Judas cheek kiss and Scarlett sees him.
Back on the Puke tour, he makes the announcement from the stage that Juliette is going on tour with him while Victim and Avery stand with their mouths open.
Deacon finds his way to Cash’s place after an argument with Frankie and sees Maddie inside the house. Rayna joins him and Maddie wants to hear them out. Despite the apologies, Mad Maddie is mad because she thinks her ‘rents are trying to keep her from a music career. So, she has been chatting with an attorney who believes she has a good case for emancipation.
I wish I had a good case for emancipation from this storyline. Put me on the show as Maddie’s new nanny. I’ll show that brat how we handle silly teenage rebellion in Oklahoma.
See also:
NASHVILLE recap: "There's a Fire In Your Heart" (season 4 episode 15)
NASHVILLE recap: "Didn't Expect It To Go Down This Way" (season 4 episode 16)
NASHVILLE recap: "Baby, Come Home" (season 4 episode 17)