Before we begin, I should let you all know that Nashville is continuing for another season. While you let that little piece of info bounce around in your head, let’s get rolling with the season finale.
And we begin with Deacon having a nightmare about dying. Not a cheerful way to get things rolling, Nashville writers.
Juliette comes home all happy that she finished her new album in 36 hours and she is still on the defensive. But, wait. When is Juliette not on the defensive? Anyway, she is still refusing to be any kind of mother to her baby and besides, there’s more important things in Juliette’s world like getting Rayna to listen to the new album. Some people really should be sterilized.
Creepy (Jeff) has an even tighter grasp on his control over Layla. It seems he doesn’t want her near her own social media accounts because she now has 2 million Twitter followers. Before he can make any more demands, Puke comes storming in, asking why Creepy never told him Will was gay. I am guessing Puke is too dumb to manage damage control (over the tabloid story that included pics of Will and Kevin being cozy), so he tells Jeff they are no longer friends. This would be a problem if Creepy had feelings or if Puke were deeper than a kiddie pool.
Will’s homophobic father is still hanging around town and good thing, too, because Will is opening for Puke tomorrow night. The two are dining at a café and when Old Man Douchebag (my new moniker for Will’s dad) spots two gay men nearby, he claims to have lost his appetite. Will next heads to an appointment with Puke and he shows Will the photos that will be running in the tabloid the next day. Will refuses to admit he’s gay.
Scarlett’s relationship with Dr. Hottiepants (Caleb) might be moving too fast when he asks her to move in. He tells her that his place never felt like home until she was there. Without giving it much thought, she agrees. Anyone else think she is going to secretly find places to stash her McRibs?
Kylie is still hanging around Gunnar’s place, but not for long. She is preparing to hit the road for her parent’s house in Texas and she wants Gunnar to come along. When he declines, she asks if his hesitation has to do with their kiss and what if there is something still there for them romantically. He doesn’t want to confuse Micah and reluctantly agrees to go, but only as support.
Juliette delivers her album to Highway 65, but Rayna, Bucky and Glenn aren’t happy with the way Juliette has been acting and are ready to slow her roll. Instead of listening to any of them, she takes the album and tells them all to screw off. Glenn chases after her and says that he is trying to do what is best for her, but her manic behavior isn’t normal (even for Juliette). Yeah, so Mother’s Day was last Sunday. I sent Juliette a Groupon for a lobotomy.
Mayor Teddy gets a visit from his pal in the U.S. Attorney’s office and he explains he isn’t comfortable taking down Tandy, who we now know is part of a corrupt business deal involving a Tennessee Senator.
Scarlett and Gunnar are trying to write music together and nothing is working because they agreed to not discuss one another’s personal lives. But they have to open up because music is personal and comes from the heart. So Gunnar tells her about going to Texas and Scarlett spills it about her new home. I am so bored with these two I literally fell asleep and dreamed Scarlett had gone mute.
Rayna walks in on a charming jam session with Beverly, Daphne, Maddie and Deacon. When Daphne says she wishes Beverly could stay longer, Beverly admits that she might just stick around Nashville a little longer and that is obviously something Rayna doesn’t want to hear.
Will goes to Kevin and asks him to deny the tabloid story and deny Will is gay. Kevin is clearly not happy with the request because he doesn’t ever want to be put in the closet. He will lie for Will, but I get the feeling that it’s over between them.
With few options left, Avery visits a shrink to talk about Juliette’s behavior. She is a classic case of postpartum depression. I’m no medical expert, but I would also look at schizophrenia. And I say that because Juliette heads over to talk to Creepy. It seems she is running out of people who do give a damn, so she wants help from Creepy who only cares for number one.
Rayna’s instincts were right about Beverly because later, Beverly says she isn’t donating her liver for Rayna, but she is doing it because of Rayna. Beverly explains that she will actually be the hero for once in Deacon’s eyes. It seems this transplant is happening just in time because Deacon’s tumor is now too big for him to remain on the transplant list.
Using Deacon and Rayna as inspiration, Scarlett gets an idea for a song and begins writing in the middle of the night, texting the lyrics to Gunnar. Yeah, if I get bothered in the middle of the night by a Sherpa with a bad accent, they better look more like Chris Pine than Clare Bowen.
The night before his surgery, Deacon has nightmares about flat lining on the operating table. Speaking of nightmares, Bucky calls Rayna the morning of the surgery to discuss the management contract Layla signed with Creepy. It gives Jeff absolute control over Layla including power of attorney. Bucky has tried calling Layla, but Creepy keeps answering the phone.
Juliette wakes up and is ready to head out again for a meeting and Avery tries reasoning with her about being a mom to Cadence. If the Catholic Church hasn’t submitted his application for sainthood, then I need to get on the horn with the Vatican. Anyway, Juliette begins to demand he give her the baby and when he refuses, she becomes crazy insistent to the point she picks up a heavy glass snow globe and throws it at him (with the baby in his arms) and screams “Give me the damn baby!” Avery ducks and it shatters against the wall. The baby is screaming at this point and Avery yells at Juliette to get out. #TEAMAVERY
Jeff left Layla’s phone unattended and it’s been ringing off the hook, so Layla checks a voicemail from Rayna saying how worried she is. She puts her phone down before Jeff can come back into the room. He returns and says he is leaving for a meeting, but not before he pulls the CREEPIEST moment of the episode by slapping her on the ass and saying “Looking good, by the way.” I implore ABC to PLEASE provide air sickness bags when Creepy is in an episode of this show.
Teddy is meeting up with his lackey friend who does all of his dirty work for him. It seems Creepy #2 knows all about Tandy’s illegal dealings with her father’s company. In fact, the money Tandy used to help Rayna start Highway 65 came straight from her sleazy corruption.
Will and Puke plan a press conference to refute the tabloid claims, but because of the negative press, Puke will find someone else to open for him for a few weeks. Will goes straight (every pun intended) to Old Man Douchebag to show him the tabloid article. Again, Will assures his dad that he has changed.
Glenn shows up at Juliette and Avery’s place to find Avery cleaning up the shattered glass. But, that isn’t all that has been shattered. She fired Glenn as her manager and hired Creepy. I was RIGHT! She is SCHIZO!
Creepy’s first move as manager is to take Juliette and her album to Puke. Creepy is also finding a way to make it up to Puke after not telling him Will was gay. Puke is happy to bring Juliette on to his record label, but claims he can’t steal Juliette away from Rayna. But, Juliette seems to think he can.
At the hospital, Beverly is being prepped for surgery and Scarlett is at her side. As she is being wheeled past Deacon’s room, he thanks her and she says “Don’t say I never gave you anything!” That gives him flashbacks to his nightmare and on the spot, he proposes to Rayna. He wants her to find the hospital Chaplin and get it done before his surgery. Rayna manages to calm him down enough so they can both recite the standard wedding vows to one another as a sort of promise to marry once he gets better. Then, Rayna gives the corniest line of the night by saying “Now, don’t you dare go and leave me a widow.” Shortly after, it’s Deacon’s turn to go to the OR.
Layla begins to snoop around online and realizes Creepy has been lying to her. She also finds several photos taken at Jade St. James’ party. She even locates one that shows Creepy on her phone while she was passed out on the bench. Its proof that Jeff Tweeted out the photo Jade told her not to make public.
Teddy goes to his pal, Dash, with the US Attorney and refuses to go further with his undercover operation. Before he can even continue explaining why, two officers appear and arrest him.
At the press conference, Kevin very matter-of-factly denies a gay relationship with Will and as Will makes his statement to the press, he watches a heartbroken Kevin leave. But in the middle of talking, he changes his mind and says “The truth is, I’m gay. And I’m not ashamed of it.” #TEAMWILL #TEAMWILL #TEAMWILL #TEAMWILL #TEAMWILL #TEAMWILL #TEAMWILL #TEAMWILL #TEAMWILL #TEAMWILL
And then we see a quick shot of Old Man Douchebag looking shocked.
#TEAMWILL
At Puke’s Bridgestone Arena show, he happily announces his new opening act – Juliette Barnes. She is the newest artist on Puke Records. As Puke watches from the side of the stage, he is joined by Creepy and the two shake hands.
After her performance, Juliette arrives home to find a stoic and exhausted Avery. He tells her the baby is with Emily at her house where she is safe and away from her mother. Juliette tries to blow it off as another misunderstanding. With tears in his eyes, he tells her he can’t believe she is so disconnected from him and their daughter that she would go to Creepy for help. He tells her she is sick and begs her to get help. But she refuses and essentially chooses her career over her family. Avery grabs his packed bags and leaves. #TEAMAVERY #TEAMCADENCE
Angry with Creepy, Layla begins to take her anger out on him by bashing his car with a golf club. So, the Nashville writers are now getting creative inspiration through Tiger Woods and his ex-wife? Anywho, Creepy stops her and admits he had to be a son of a bitch but it was so he wouldn’t lose her. She begins crying and (like the idiot we knew she was) she falls into Jeff’s arms.
While Daphne, Scarlett, Rayna and Maddie all bide their time in the waiting room, Gunnar drops by to give his well wishes and chat with Skinny. They find a spot on the hospital patio and Gunnar plays the music he wrote to Scarlett’s lyrics, which she loves. He asks her to sing it before he leaves town. As expected, it’s the best number of the show and as it plays, the following happens:
*Puke calls Juliette and tells her he wants her to go on tour with him immediately. She agrees.
*Avery packs up the baby and it appears he is leaving town.
*Will goes to a stunned Kevin and very sweetly and simply tells him “I love you.” (I am swooning like Scarlett O’Hara on an August Sunday afternoon, ya’ll!) It’s the first time he has truly felt loved.
As Scarlett (who is now crying) and Gunnar end their song, they are on the verge of kissing.
That is when we see someone flat lining in an operating room and Dr. Hottiepants rushing in to talk to Rayna privately. “I have some bad news…” he begins.
AND THAT IS A WRAP FOR THE SEASON, my lovelies.
As much as I would love to think this cliff hanger is going to make us all anxious until season 4, it’s very obvious that Beverly is the one who flat lined. If they kill off Deacon, they kill off the show and we all know that ain’t gonna happen.
Until next season, I love every single one of you bitches!