Merry Christmas, You Filthy Animals

Well this is going to be an awkward holiday season for many LGBT people—that magical time of year when we get to hang out with our family members who voted for Trump. But for those of you who are going to sit down at dinner and be enraged to hear from family members who voted for Trump, I’d like to point out a few things.

A lot of what I’m seeing about Trump reversing marriage equality is overblown. Trump said he thought marriage equality should have been handled on the state level. He disagreed with the fact that the federal government had to step in, but when questioned about it agreed it’s done and settled.

I'm not defending Trump and I'm definitely not a Trump supporter. In full disclosure I'm a Bernie Sanders supporter, however that's getting off topic…

A lot of people are all over Trump about how he doesn't like Mexicans and Muslims. In all fairness, whether you came from Russia or Columbia, if you're here and causing social problems, definitely if you’re here illegally, he wouldn't want you here. Donald Trump wants to get rid of drug dealers and rapists who are here illegally and people who come from other countries that want to blow us up? Okay, that’s kind of legit. I mean, granted, the Oklahoma City bombing was performed by an Anglo-Saxon Protestant, but still, I get it.

And so what if wants to have Hillary investigated. At the risk of having a pitchfork-wielding mob formed against me, in my opinion, Hillary Clinton and the entire Clinton family are, in fact, criminals. I don't want to see the Clintons run the post office let alone any other political thing, I don't want to see them running a marathon, it's Chelsea, Bill, Hillary, or the grandkids.

Yes, Donald Trump has said some crazy things. Yes, he can be a bit of a bully. I know plenty of people that, if you get the right amount of drinks in them, will tell you terrible things about women and minorities. Now, is it a good idea? No. But it doesn't make you a bad person, not really.

I mean, at least Trump has the decency to rip off his own mask, to be only himself rather than hiding behind that mask, like Hillary. The guy’s not pretending to be somebody he isn’t. You see Donald Trump and think, “That guy’s an asshole!” And you're right, but he's not trying to hide it is so unapologetic that I almost have to give him a standing ovation.

That brings me back to the safety pin thing. Liberals can’t help but get it wrong. The safety pin works under the assumption that everybody is a bigot, and so you've got to wear a safety pin to differentiate yourself from the bigots. Maybe I'm just a jerk, but I tend to work off the assumption that everybody is not a bigot and until you prove to me that you are, I'm going to go with that.

The safety pin thing in its intent is cool, and I get it that's nice that that's what you want to do, but the fact that people of color are offended by this movement on the whole should let you know that it's probably not a good idea at all. It makes them feel marginalized and as one of my friends so eloquently put it, “Thank goodness we have these benevolent white people to show up and save the day!”

I posted an article about people of color not liking the safety pin movement and finding it insulting, and white people on my page lost their minds. Basically the general consensus was, “Hey, brown people, we’re doing something nice for you. You should appreciate it. Why aren't you being grateful? Safety pin, safety pin, safety pin…” Blew my mind.

Let's move onto Melania. Now, no, I'm not saying she's the most qualified person to be First Lady, but then again she's not necessarily unqualified, since basically the only qualifications are being married to the president. People want to post her naked pictures and say she was in softcore porn, and don't care about that and neither should you. A woman's body belongs to her, and she may do with it whatever she likes. If she wants to pose nude, fantastic!

I’ll grant that, had Michelle Obama posed nude, oh my God, the right would've lost its mind! And unjustly so, I say. We need to stop being such a rape-culture, sexist country and embrace the fact that women can do whatever the hell they want with their bodies.

I find it completely ironic that lefties will say, “Oh, the country is sexist! They didn't vote for Hillary Clinton because they didn't want a woman in office.” Then they go post nude photos of Melania or in some other way slut shame her? Do you not realize what a giant hypocrite you're being? You're being sexist: It's hypocritical and you know it.

Look a lot of this is based on assumptions. We assume Trump supporters are small minded people—you know, the way people assume gay men are demonic. It sucks when people make assumptions about YOU doesn't it? So maybe don't do it to them.

All of this is enough to make me throw a "mazel tov" cocktail at the entire internet ... for Hanukkah. We're going to have to live together, so maybe if we stop making assumptions about each other and stop being hypocrites, this thing can work.

You can't pick your family, and they may be largely not cool, but the option to provide a teachable moment and be the bigger person is still there, if you get off your high horse. Politics aside, try to remember your parents love you and are doing their best.

Also, just in time for Christmas and Hanukkah, I'm happy to share with you all I'm expecting a baby in June, thanks to science!





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