Homo At Large

It’s finally beginning to feel like summer here on the reservation. As I write this, it is the weekend of the Nashville Pride festival and I’m not feeling particularly proud, or gay for that matter. Menz in shorts and t-shirts? Pride festivals? Sex & the City opening at theaters? … and I’m not feelin’ it?

What?! The hell, you say?! No way!!

This weekend marks an entire year since I moved home. I know I’ve mentioned this but it seems here that my identity is more based on my family and my relationships at work than anything else. No pride festivals here. And I have no problem with that, I don’t think.

People ask me how my community here on the Indian reservation reacts to gay people. I think “ambivalence” is the best word to describe it. To my eyes there are more lesbians than there are gay menz here, but that may seem that way because they’re coupled up (no surprise) and just the work of dividing them out into individuals makes them seem more plentiful. Or perhaps it’s because they’re more visible, because they’re always with each other (again, no surprise).

We are – in its most simple form – country-folk, so there are some moments of unintended ignorance that I learn to live with. Just yesterday my mom was recounting a conversation she had with some guy who referred to “a couple dykes” he knows who have kids. The conversation had something to do, primarily, with kids.

My jaw dropped to the floor while my mom, too busy, too frightened she’d forget the rest of the story (no surprise) just kept on talking. I had to remind her that’s one of those words that only a few people are allowed to use … and that none of them are her or the guy she was talking to.

Strange thing, of course, is that it was harmless. I guess we live in a world where you can say what you want, as long as you’ve qualified yourself in some way.

Nah, that doesn’t sound right to me, either.

What with all the trouble my brother’s got into this past while I find myself meeting a lot of his friends now. Let me tell you this much: my brother and I don’t look alike. At all. He’s tall and not necessarily slender, but thin. Me? I’m not either of those things.

Because he’s lived here all his life, I’ve always had to introduce myself as “Clint’s brother” so it’s been funny lately when I say who I am. Every single time it’s to one of his friends, they each pull their head back, take a wider look, then say “YOU’RE Clint’s brother?!” All surprised.

“Yeah, I know! We’re like twins, right?!” That’s all I can say.

It’s a small community that I live in, so I get caught too sometimes talking to someone who hasn’t identified him or herself, who assumes that everyone knows who he or she is. In a lot of cases, I can correctly deduce who I’m talking to but it’s a strange thing, those assumptions, that I don’t recall so much when I lived in town. I know I never make the assumption someone already knows who I am.

So that makes it all the more surprising when folks do recognize me, say, during the workday. I think to myself, back when we last met, I was maybe a teenager and, well, I look a little different now. I don’t know. I suppose it’s partly my fault for boxing people in my memory and rarely letting them develop into the present. No assumptions on my part; I’m too busy talking myself out of them.

And sometimes there’s really no time to fit any gay in amid all this.

National Margarita Day

A lot of us have really picked up an interest in tequila and it's no wonder. Its popularity is soaring in the U.S. and doesn't look like it'll be slowing down any time soon. The only contender would probably be whiskey. Meh, but they have their own day. Now, it's National Margarita Day and we put together some of the best margarita recipes around so you can pick one or maybe even all of them to try.

We have a few surprises in there too. Maybe it's not all about tequila but it certainly has a theme going on. Take a look at some of these great tequila brands and start making some amazing margaritas today!

Keep reading Show less
Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

Gender-Inclusive Universities and Student Privacy

For many students, attending university is a profound, often life-changing, transition. It is often the student’s first time living on their own without parental supervision. This lifestyle is also accompanied by a period of self-discovery, of defining and redefining a sense of personal identity largely independent of the influence of family and friends from home.

For students who are members of the LGBTQ+ community, this rite of passage can also be a deeply empowering one. Indeed, attending university may be the student’s first real opportunity to explore their gender identity in a safe, comfortable, and accepting college.

Keep reading Show less

José Cuervo's Reserva de la Familia agave fields

Disclaimer: My trip was provided courtesy of a press trip but all opinions about the trip and events are my own. Please note there are affiliate links and at no additional cost to you, I may earn a commission if you make a purchase.

I had the opportunity to visit Mexico for an event José Cuervo was putting on, the unveiling of their premium tequila brand, Reserva de la Familia. The trip was all about tequila, how to drink it properly, how to pair it with food, and of course, visiting various points of interest in Guadalajara while tasting tequila along the way.

Keep reading Show less