More than 60 high school students attended the Day of Silence rally April 17, an event hosted by GLSEN Greater Kansas City. The Day of Silence, a national effort, asks students to take a vow of silence for some portion of the school day to raise awareness of the effects of anti-LGBT bullying and discrimination.
Many of these youth identified as either queer or trans*. They rallied together to Break the Silence at the J.C. Nichols Memorial Fountain in the Plaza and created a wall of bodies and signs along 47th Street, chanting for equality and acceptance as car horns honked in support during rush hour. These students showed up with enthusiasm, energy and confidence in themselves and hope for their LGBTQ community in Kansas City. It was refreshing to see so many young people embrace their future with positivity.
Fourteen years ago, while I was staying in a homeless youth shelter, I went to my first LGBTQ youth group, Growing American Youth, in St. Louis. It was summer, and the group was packed because there was no safe space for LGBTQ youth to gather besides the weekly drop-in group or the local gay-friendly coffeehouse.
At the group, the lead adviser gently asked me whether I wished to share my story with the other youth. I was embarrassed, but recounted how both my family and my private school had recently kicked me out for being gay. After I finished, the adviser asked the other youth, “How many of you have been kicked out at some point or another for being gay?” There were more than 60 young people at this meeting, and half of them raised their hands. I was stunned.
As an LGBTQ youth advocate with the Kansas City Anti-Violence Project (KCAVP), I have the privilege to work directly with empowered, creative and resilient LGBTQ youth on a daily basis. These past three months, I have learned even more from a group of Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) high school students through our ongoing LGBTQ youth empowerment and educational workshop series.
At a recent meeting, one of the students, who identifies as gender nonconforming, curiously asked me whether I often hear disbelief from adults that trans* and gender nonconforming (TGNC) youth exist. They asked, “How do you respond to adults when they ask you: ‘Why are there so many youth coming out as transgender now?’ or ‘Doesn’t it just seem that so many kids now are claiming trans as the newest trend?’”
I shared with these students that no young person should ever feel the need to justify their existence or validate their identities. Still, there was a familiar pain in the room as the students explained how they felt a general lack of support from adults in their lives, even from LGBTQ adults who have the potential to be amazing mentors to these youth.
It made me recall my own experiences as I grew older, when I heard some LGBTQ adults say how easy they think it is for LGBTQ youth now. I believe there is a clear disconnect with a lot of adults about the current realities of many LGBTQ youth. Every youth has the right to be happy, treated with dignity and be safe in any community.
As I watched the students chant with hope at the Day of Silence rally, I was reminded how little has changed for LGBTQ youth in 2015. There is a tremendous amount of hate directed at them, specifically from unsupportive adults. Just in the last six months, KCAVP has been called to provide support to LGBTQ-identified young people who are coping with neglect, trauma and violence.
We advocated for a gay high school student who bravely came out in a very small town. The student was assaulted by peers, then school staff denied the violence and the local police department was unwilling to respond. Religious leaders show up at the student’s home to inform the family that they will burn in hell.
We trained an elementary school staff on how to treat their TGNC students and implement culturally competent lesson plans and school policies, in response to one of their second graders coming out as trans*. And we still receive calls on a weekly basis from shelters, schools and youth themselves who have been kicked out and disowned for being LGBTQ.
After the Day of Silence rally, local GSA students gathered at the LIKEME Lighthouse for the Night of Noise open mic event. We participated in a KCAVP workshop about “LGBTQ Myth Busting,” as youth joked away the antiquated, sometimes humorous stereotypes they first learned about what it meant to be LGBTQ from adults and peers in their life.
Many youth gathered the courage to speak their truths in front of their peers. We learned about their struggles to navigate high school while avoiding their families’ homophobia and religious violence at home. We learned about their bravery to come out twice, first as queer and then as transgender, to family members who still have no idea what being gay even means.
But mostly, we saw students support each other through laughter, tears and new friendships. It was a pretty incredible moment to watch, and I have full confidence that our LGBTQ youth will be -- and already are -- amazing leaders for our communities.
Randall Jenson is the youth and outreach coordinator for the Kansas City Anti-Violence Project. KCAVP’s vision is to end all types of violence in the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.
Slane Irish Whiskey bottles
Disclaimer: My trip was provided courtesy of a press trip but all opinions about the trip and events are my own. Please note there are affiliate links and at no additional cost to you, I may earn a commission if you make a purchase.
Whiskey has been hitting the shelves left and right lately taking up aisles and aisles. All good things if you ask me. I took a quick trip out to Atlanta for a review of Slane Irish Whiskey. I know what you’re thinking. Atlanta and Irish Whiskey? I was waiting for the connection but there wasn’t one, except for the people I met but let’s start from the beginning, shall we?
Visiting a Garden That Gives Back to the Community
The garden at A Sip of Paradise
Photo courtesy of A Sip of Paradise
The first thing on the list is to visit a place called A Sip of Paradise. This non-profit garden space caters to bartenders and people in the hospitality industry. It’s a place where everyone can gather for specific events, help maintain the garden, borrow from the garden, and create a sense of community. It’s a safe space where you can recharge the body, mind, and soul through gardening and health and wellness programs and so much more.
As the day unfolded, we learned how the garden space was created, why it was created, and how it thrives. Anyone in the hospitality industry can tell you that it is sometimes grueling hard work. It takes a toll on the body, mind, and at times, the spirit. Walking among the various plants and flowers, you get a sense of grounding. You take care of and nurture these plants so they will grow and thrive in the sultry weather. You leave your troubles behind as your focus turns to the garden, the people, and the stories they share.
As luck would have it, it poured down rain and we couldn’t go out and weed the garden. Then the rain stopped. Then it started again. Then finally, it stopped. During the rain, we huddled together under pop-up tents and shared stories and cocktails. We learned the stories of a few members and we learned how they give back to the community that has helped them along the way.
This. This is the connection. Slane Irish Whiskey (and company) is long rooted in community, music, sustainability, and a yearning for leaving the world a better place than they found it. Cliche, I know. But the work that A Sip of Paradise does on a daily basis is the same work Slane Distillery is doing. Building a legacy.
These people are more than mere bartenders, mixologists, and drink slingers. There were trailblazers and celebrities in their own right. They were are giving back. They were are making a difference. All the while making amazing cocktails.
A Sip of Paradise’s principles are easy. Come together as a community. Partake in the care of the garden space, take what you need, and give what you can.
Inside the Epicurean Hotel Atlanta
Epicurean Hotel Atlanta
Photo courtesy of Epicurean Hotel Atlanta, Autograph Collection by Marriott
I was staying in the heart of Midtown Atlanta at the Epicurean Hotel. This isn’t your typical run-of-the-mill hotel–it’s a food-themed boutique hotel. Instead of checking in at the front desk or speaking with a concierge person, you actually check in at the host desk inside the first-floor restaurant called Reverence. Upon checking in, you’re offered your choice of a complimentary beer or glass of wine. (impressed already).
Each floor is food themed. I happened to be staying on the Pinot Noir floor. Fitting I know. I have the sense that it didn’t matter what floor I was on! The room was great and wouldn’t you know, there was a bar with snacks. Not one of those tiny little minibars, but a full-on wall dedicated to all things booze. There were shelves with wine on them, spirits, and snacks. Some were complimentary so as I sipped my complimentary wine, I had some snacks as I relaxed and pretended to get some work done before meeting the group downstairs.
Reverence is the main restaurant where you not only dine and drink, but this is where I checked into my hotel. It’s an open kitchen concept with plenty of seating in and around the kitchen. Elegantly designed and decorated to make you feel right at home.
If you want a bit more casual, you can head to Aerial Kitchen and Bar situated next to the swimming pool and cabanas. Seating is like sitting in your familiar backyard and hanging out with friends. The open concept means you’re sitting outside enjoying the weather.
If you’re not quite ready for dining, you can head over to The Office Bar and cocktails. Don’t worry, if you do end up getting hungry, you can order from the eclectic menu.
Perhaps the shining jewel of the hotel would be the cooking theater. The Epicurean Theatre is built for demonstrations, teachings, or any group event where you can learn various cooking techniques.
There’s a Sky Terrance where you can take in the views of Atlanta’s skyline or just lounge around on the large lawn space taking a break from work, or perhaps you’re working remotely. It’s a perfect setting to do that.
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Cooking Demonstrations with Whiskey Pairings
Chef preparing for his cooking demonstration at the Epicurean Theatre
Photo credit of Joe Eats World
Most of the amazing people we met in the garden were attending the dinner along with a few local writers, bloggers, and fellow lovers of food. One of the Slane Irish Whiskey Ambassadors was there to give us a bit more history on Slane Distillery.
Slane Irish Whiskey is triple distilled and triple casked using virgin barrels, seasoned barrels, and sherry. Slane works on sustainability, renewable energy, and a lower carbon footprint. Toss in the whiskey, music, and oh, a rebuilt Irish Castle and you get some pretty amazing history. The castle is used for tours, weddings, and music venues. Some of the biggest names in music have either visited or played at the castle.
Our dinner was a paring of three different expressions of Slane’s whiskey. Dinner was a four-course experience where we feasted on chilled half-shell oysters, hot and sour pork belly bao buns, scallops n grits, and orange-cured summer peaches. We finished off the evening with another Slane Irish Whiskey coffee old fashioned. Honestly, I didn’t think I was going to sleep that night but curiously, it wasn’t a problem.
Having Brunch Before Heading to the Airport
The James Room entrance
Photo courtesy of Joe Eats World
The next day we set out for The James Room. Their website opens with We’re a Vibe and I have to agree. We were told about The James Room but upon arriving and walking through the glass doors, you’re taken aback because we were supposed to have cocktails and brunch with Tiffanie Barriere. Instead what I walked into was a coffee and pastry shop with a few tables to either side of me and a coffee counter directly ahead. Intriguing.
As we were talking, one of our new friends came walking through one of the side doors and asked us to follow her. Blown away doesn’t even begin to describe what happened next. You know that point in Wizard of Oz when Dorothy walks around her house after the tornado and it’s filmed in Black and White and then she opens the door and walks outside into technicolor? That’s literally what happened to me. As the door opened, another world opened up.
The room was dimly lit in a perfect way, to my left was a very long wrap-around bar and behind (or in front, depending on how you’re standing) were various seating booths with velvet and leather seats. Words of welcome and greetings came from all around as we reunited with more of our friends from the garden.
As we were waiting for brunch, we stood around with cocktails of course, and chatted about the previous day's events when we were almost rained out of gardening! Once brunch was out of the way, it was time to get busy, we were there for an Irish coffee workshop after all. Obviously, we were going to be using Slane Whiskey as the main ingredient. We received a demo of how the Irish coffee is built and then we were on our own to recreate said coffee. We all did pretty well if you ask me but then again, it was 10:30 in the morning and we were already on cocktail two or three and we were flying out in a few hours.
It was a whirlwind event. In less than 24 hours, I met some of the most amazing humans, had some amazing cocktails made from Slane Irish Whiskey of course, ate some absolutely delicious food, and at noon I was on my way back to the airport. My only regret is that the events didn’t last longer. It was definitely not enough time to explore and experience the wonders that Atlanta’s food scene and cocktail scenes have to offer. Especially that hotel. My God, that hotel.
One More Whiskey Tasting After I Return to Chicago
Irish Coffee using Slane Irish Whiskey
Photo courtesy of Joe Eats World
Fast forward a few weeks later as I’m back home in Chicago, I get invited to a dinner and whiskey tasting for Slane. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to make the dinner but I did get a chance to hang out a The Kerryman and experience blending my own whiskey and tasting even more Slane Irish Whiskey concoctions. We laughed about the rainstorm in Atlanta and talked about how amazing the people were, how good the food was, and how we went through A LOT of whiskey. One of the reps from a GlenDronach Scotch and Cheese pairing event I attended was there and we talked about how amazing everything there was.
If you’re a whiskey fan, you should do yourself a favor and pick up a bottle or 2 of Slane’s. They’re making some pretty good stuff. Even though they’re a young-ish company, they have some great things on the horizon.
This post was originally published on Joe Eats World
Mental Health for LGBTQ+ Aging Adults
Queer elders have made a big impact on the world. Queer folks over the age of 65 were around during the Stonewall Movement in the 1960s and may have even campaigned to improve the rights and freedoms of LGBTQ+ people around the world.
But, as queer elders enter later life, they may need to find new ways to protect and preserve their mental health.
There are over one million LGBTQ+ elders in the US today, and studies find that they are more likely to have poor mental health. LGBTQ+ elders are 2 to 3 times more likely to live with depression. This is likely due to previous experiences of abuse — 82% of elderly LGBTQ+ individuals have experienced violence or abuse due to their sexuality or identity in their lifetime.
Queer elders can still protect their mental health by finding the right therapist, spending time outdoors, and connecting with the queer community in meaningful ways.
Therapy
Mental health is a major concern for everyone at the moment. However, queer elders may be particularly reticent to reach out to help and support from therapists. During their lifetime, therapy and psychiatric care may have been associated with harmful pseudo-treatments like so-called “conversion therapy”.
Queer elders can make the whole process easier by finding an LGBTQ+-friendly therapist. Unfortunately, this process can be tricky and tiresome. Social worker Amanda Frey explains that she “kissed many frogs before finding my current therapist.” Frey suggests that queer folks can expedite the process by being straightforward and stating what experience and knowledge are needed from a therapist before starting treatment.
Queer elders can also use LGBTQ+-friendly directories to start their search. Directories can help queer elders find and compare trusted practitioners before they enroll. However, not all listed therapists will be equal, and extra research may be needed to ensure it’s a good match.
Community Building
Isolation and loneliness are common experiences among older folks. As we age, our social bonds weaken and we lose people who are close to us. Isolation may be particularly common in the queer community.
Journalist and author Steven Petrow explains that queer folks are “twice as likely as our straight counterparts to be single and live alone.” Petrow goes on to explain that this may be because “LGBTQ people have often found themselves rejected by family, friends, and community,” and that, until 2015, LGBTQ+ people were not able to legally marry.
Petrow suggests that queer elders “can impart wisdom and experience to younger LGBTQ people”. This form of intergenerational community building ensures that everyone can find the support they need and create meaningful bonds.
However, “making friends” is a challenge for anyone — regardless of age, sexuality, or gender identity. Instead, queer elders can consider taking up hobbies for older adults. Hobbies like book clubs and art classes are particularly useful, as they encourage conversation and can reveal interests and ideas that haven’t been explored before.
An active social calendar later in life can mitigate feelings of loneliness, reduce the risk of cognitive conditions like dementia, and improve older folks’ physical health. Connecting with the LGBTQ+ community can give queer elders the chance to impart some of their well-earned wisdom, too.
Mobility and Exercise
Mobility restrictions are extremely common amongst older populations: 35% of people over 75 have mobility issues, and the majority of those over 85 have difficulties moving on their own. Mobility limitations can cause other issues, as fears about falling and hospitalization may prevent queer elders from getting out into the community.
Policy changes are required to help queer elders age with pride and full mobility. Current health disparities between straight and LGBTQ+ people mean that it’s more difficult for queer elders to get the help they need.
Queer elders who can find inclusive exercise groups in their area should take advantage of the opportunity to work up a sweat amongst allies and other queer folks. Recent research shows that light aerobic exercise can improve the mental health of adults over the age of 60. The study suggests that low-frequency, gentle aerobic exercise is best for preserving and improving mental health.
As such, queer elders should consider joining groups that promote exercise like:
- Water aerobics
- Brisk walking or jogging groups
- Tai Chi
- Exercise with a licensed PT
These exercises carry a minimal risk of injury and can promote better mental health and overall well-being. Ideally, queer elders should be able to find inclusive groups to join, as discrimination and abuse can still occur within groups of walkers and swimmers.
Queer elders face unique challenges as they age. Many queer elders are more likely to feel lonely in old age and may struggle to find supportive community groups. However, older queer people can find the support they need by locating an LGBTQ+-friendly therapist who understands the challenges they face and how to overcome them. Queer elders may also find support by engaging in community outreach and working with younger activists who may benefit from their wisdom and experience.
B37 Massage Gun Review
Disclaimer: This product has been tested and reviewed by our writer and any views or opinions are their own. Please note there are affiliate links and at no additional cost to you, we may earn a commission if you make a purchase.
A massage gun is a great way to relieve tension in specific muscles. We can do it from the comfort of our own couches while watching TV. The benefits of a massage gun can help you feel relaxed, feel calmer, improve circulation, and can relieve stress and tension throughout your body. It’s no wonder that we seek out full-body massages whenever we can.
I would love to say that I work out so much that a massage gun helps me loosen up the tight muscles from lifting all those weights. The truth is, I have pulled a muscle in my next twice just from shampooing my hair…Or there was that time I turned around in my chair awkwardly and pulled a muscle in my back. That actually happened the day before I got the massage gun to review luckily, the battery had a partial charge to it and I had my first opportunity to test it out.
First, let me introduce to you the B37 Massage Gun by Erkin Athletics…
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What is the B37 Massage Gun?
Four Attachments for the B37 Massage Gun
The B37 Massage Gun is an ergonomic and percussive therapy machine. The handle sits at a 15° angle which helps lessen arm fatigue. The handle is also designed so that you can reach the hard-to-reach places that normally would require another person to assist.
Features
- 5-speeds: the variable speed ranges from 1,400 to 3,200 RPMs. The lower speeds let you warm up your muscles and work through any sensitive muscles.
- 4 attachments: There are four different types of attachments you can use to work your muscles.
- Flat: The flat attachment is perfect for overall massaging
- Bullet: The bullet is great for zeroing in on specific knots, and is also perfect for hands and feet.
- Round Foam Ball: the foam attachment works best for all larger muscle groups
- Fork: this attachment is specifically designed for the neck and spine.
- Power: the massage gun delivers up to 56 pounds of stall force. What is stall force? Stall force is the amount of pressure you can apply to a massage gun before the motor stalls.
- 8-Hour Battery: The Samsung Lithium-ion battery provides plenty of power so you can really work out those knots. If you’re on the go, you won’t need to worry about recharging or running down the battery prematurely.
- Travel Case: Take your charged, or uncharged, B37 Massage Gun with you in the handy travel case that organizes everything neatly.
How Do You Use the B37 Massage Gun?
According to the information on their website, you should
- Turn the massage gun on before placing it on your body.
- Use speeds 1 - 3 for any muscle recovery and for speeds 4 and 5 for a soothing massage or pre-workout muscle warm-up.
- Glide the massage gun over the muscles and let the gun do the work. Apply pressure for added muscle relief.
- Breathe and relax and let the machine do the work. (in other words, if you’re tense, the massage will not work.)
Another step I would add is to make sure you know which attachment you need before you even begin step 1. This way, you don’t just turn it on, start massaging, and then realize you need a different attachment.
What I Liked About the B37 Massage Gun
What I love about the B37 Massage Gun
Photo by Tyler Nix on UnsplashPower
There’s always the chance that you get a product that just doesn’t perform. I kind of knew that this was not the case when I turned on the B37. You could feel the power when you were holding it. In fact, it was so powerful I had it on the lowest setting and barely applied any pressure to my sore back. After a few swipes, I felt better.
Attachments
The attachments are great and my two favorites are the foam ball and the flat attachment. They really promote muscle relaxation and work pretty well for me. To be honest, the fork scares me a little plus, I can’t really reach. I haven’t used the bullet yet because the foam ball and flat piece work great for me. Did I mention that they’re so easy to change too? You just pop them in or out—that simple.
Battery
Aside from the handy case, the battery is third in line because well, sometimes, you just forget to charge things. Hello, headsets anyone? I can use the massager for an hour or so and then put it away and use it another day.
What I Don’t Like About the B37 Massage Gun
What I didn't like about the B37 Massage Gun
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash
Noise
It's fine when you are on the lower settings but when you get up to the higher settings, it gets a little noisy. Especially if you’re watching TV. If I need that much work on my muscles, I probably shouldn’t be sitting in front of the TV anyway. The lower settings work just fine for my muscles.
Weight
Also not a deal killer, but it has some heft to it. While the 15° handle does help with arm fatigue and wrist exhaustion, it’s still there especially if you have a particular knot to work out. Usually, I switch hands if possible or take a break here and there.
Is the B37 Massage Gun Worth the Price?
Prices for massage guns can vary and the B37 Massage Gun is decently priced compared to other massage guns. Considering the quality of the massage gun, all of the features, AND a lifetime warranty, I think it’s well worth the price.
Should You Buy the B37 Massage Gun?
Massage guns are perfect for anyone that is an endurance athlete, an avid weightlifter, or anyone suffering from tight muscles. The National Institute of Mental Health also discusses practicing self-care by using relaxing activities such as muscle relaxation. The institute also mentions using relaxing techniques for managing stress.
I would recommend the massage gun for anyone dealing with sore muscles and who may need relaxation in general.
What to Look for in a Massage Gun?
Speed and Power
When you are searching for a massage gun, you want to look for a gun that offers a range of speed and that has enough power to handle the stall force.
Size and Weight
Part of what I didn’t like about the B37 was the weight. It was a little heavy, especially for one-handed massaging. That’s why you need to make sure that the weight isn’t going to be too cumbersome and at the same time, it isn't too flimsy. There is no way around it but if you have a powerful gun, it’s going to be heavy or heavier. The size is a factor too. If it’s too large, it’ll seem awkward; if it’s too small, it just won’t get the job done.
Portability
Chances are, you’re going to want to take the gun with you. Having a nice travel case will make that a lot easier. You will want or need, something compact enough for those road trips and flights. Just don’t forget the charger.
Attachments
Attachments make life and working out the kinks so much easier. While I really only use two, I can see where the four come in handy. Depending on how often you will use one, I would say a minimum of two attachments.