In Nashville, food is something we pride ourselves on. As the food scene, and excitement about it, have grown, food and charitable giving seem as natural a pairing as wine and cheese! The national event, Dining Out for Life (DOFL), has thus found Nashville very receptive over the last number of years.
DOFL has a simple concept: on a chosen day, participating restaurants will donate 30–100% of their proceeds from their breakfast, lunch and/or dinner sales to CARES. This year, over seventy restaurants are expected to participate. Last year DOFL raised over $150,000 for CARES, so the bar is high.
In order to get customers out to the restaurants and to spread the word about CARES and general HIV awareness, CARES pairs hosts with restaurants. Sometimes those hosts are Nashville organizations, like the Grizzlies or the Music City Sisters, but often they are simply people who have a deep interest in and devotion to the cause of HIV awareness and prevention. This year, for instance, sisters Shannon Mock Miller and Michelle Mock are hosting at Rolf and Daughters, which is donating 30% of its dinner sales.
“My Aunt Melissa was a heterosexual woman, who married her college sweetheart,” Shannon said. “Still, she was diagnosed with HIV in 1991, and she got every sickness associated with the virus before she passed away in 1997.”
“I was in college when I found out,” Michelle reflected. “It was 1991 and I had friends just beginning to be diagnosed, black and homosexual friends. My aunt didn’t fit the stereotype.” That stereotype both stigmatized homosexual men and leads heterosexuals to undervalue their risk. “We got involved,” Michelle added, “because the stigma is still hurting people. Heterosexual sex is now the main route of transmission worldwide.”
For Shannon and Michelle, then, the fight against HIV is personal, and wherever they’ve been, they’ve been involved. “I’ve done work with a number of non-profits over the years,” said Michelle, “I’ve lost not just my aunt, but a lot of friends as well.” Shannon was also involved in a CARES-like organization in Baton Rouge and has supported the AIDS walk and DOFL for years. But last year was their first year hosting DOFL. “Dining Out for Life fell on our aunt’s birthday last year,” Michelle said. “It was like a birthday celebration for her.”
But even at DOFL, Shannon and Michelle were confronted with exactly why they wanted to be a part of it. “Last year we went to each table and talked to the patrons about CARES, about why we were there,” Shannon said. “One of the guys at a table asked, ‘Your aunt?! How did she get it?” Shannon admits that, as a college sophomore in 1991, this was one of the first questions she asked when her father told her. “As I’ve gotten more sensitive and grown up, I realize that it doesn’t matter.”
“I feel like after all these years it’s still such a scrutinized disease, people treat it like the people who got it ‘asked for it,’” Shannon said. “The first question out of your mouth shouldn’t be, ‘How did you get it?’ and a person shouldn’t have to defend themselves against that.” And this stigma is what the sisters want to help combat. “It’s all about education and awareness,” as Michelle added.
The sisters also support CARES because of the insight their aunt’s experience gave them. Their aunt was a beloved family member, and they saw the amount of support she needed. “Unfortunately,” Shannon said, “there are a lot of people who, unlike my aunt, have to battle through this alone, have already been ostracized by family and friends. That’s something I can’t comprehend, and it’s why we should all support the work of organizations like CARES.”
But that doesn’t have to be difficult. “The great thing about Dining Out for Life,” Shannon said, “is that you don’t really have to DO anything. People are already eating out, they just need to go to the places that are participating in Dining Out for Life. You don’t have to put a rainbow flag on your car, or write a big check to support Nashville CARES. Just come out to eat, and bring your friends!”
