I?m sitting here in the entryway of my Loch Lloyd manse, waiting for my driver to arrive. It?s the perfect time to begin this week?s column, preparing for church on Easter Sunday. I hope you won?t force me to explain why this day is holy ? sometimes you LGBT heathens are so curious to me. You?re all in a club of CEOs and multi-millionaires, but you?re clueless when it comes to faith. I doubt that any of you MBAs are holy enough to have developed stigmata, like me, and I only have a high-school education.
But enough of that. Jesus doesn?t care how educated you are; it?s all about how holy you act in public. That?s why you all are going to follow my adventures on the holiest day of the year, Easter. Now you will understand why God has pulled up an extra throne in heaven right next to his ? just for me.
I had my new cook, Nancy, pull out the linens for the sumptuous Easter Brunch I?m serving today. The tablecloth fringe is actually shredded little pieces of the Shroud of Turin that I had sliced off last time the Pope sent it out for laundering. And as much as I have those little foreign folks at the cleaners scrub and scrub, those darned stains will not come out ? no matter how much I yell.
Help is so hard to find. Nancy balked at having to slit the throat of the Easter lamb, but it?s Easter. You non-Christians would never understand. And brunch will be delicious this year, even though we won?t be having deviled eggs, despite Nancy?s suggestion. Why in heaven?s name anyone would eat something named after Satan?s reproductive system is beyond me.
And then there?s the fact that my cousin-in-law from Texas won?t be making it up this year. Cousin Thelma. Did you see the recent headlines about the woman whose buttocks grew to a toilet seat after she sat there for two years? Well, she has nothing on Thelma, who has been sitting on the toilet as long as I can remember ? at least since my childhood years. Although I love and honor family, as it says to do in the Bible, there are certain family members you wouldn?t poke with a stick as they lay in the gutter, and Thelma is one of them. Thank God she had an excuse not to attend this year. Last year, we wheeled her to the table on her ceramic chair and ... well, we?ll just say it took two months to remove the smell from my dining room Persian carpet.
Speaking of smell, fecal humor is not something I like to discuss, so I?ll just lightly pass over the memories of St. Patrick?s Day in Kansas City. The smell of intoxication oozing from the pores of you all reminded me of Thelma. They say one picture is worth 1,000 words, so I?ll rest my delicate fingers and give you a couple thousand to view. Shameful!
I?m surprising my Easter brunch guests by taking them downtown to the Disney on Ice show (box seats, of course) at the new Sprint Center. How I love watching those adorable puppet-people glide along, attempting to not slash each other?s flesh with their sharp blades while peeking through those costume-head peepholes. How anyone can wear one of those costumes is a tribute to their stamina ... but nothing compares to the folks they hire every year on the Plaza to wear those bunny suits. The Plaza tyrants hire homeless people to stand motionless on every corner for weeks upon end to entertain the tourists. I do believe that the publisher of Camp, John, went to the Plaza Easter Bunny Torture School just so he can taunt me.
But back to me and my Easter brunch surprise ... it?s going to be an exciting time for my brunch guests: I?ve hired two Plaza Easter Bunnies to be a part of the spectacular Disney on Ice program. Look at the picture I took yesterday during rehearsal. Kansas City homeless people can keep up with professional Hollywood skaters, I?ll tell you! And they work for a quarter of the wage.
Oh, sinners, there?s my driver ? it?s time for my Single Christian Women Club?s monthly meeting. This month, we?re going to learn how to properly suck on chocolate bunny ears.
But now that you know how a real Christian celebrates Easter, remember it and practice it. Perhaps you?ll be holy enough to be invited to my brunch next year.
Francine offers her slightly skewed viewpoint on issues in the Kansas City metropolitan area?s LGBT community in each issue of Camp. This satirical column is meant in jest and non-thought-provoking fun! Francine?s opinions are her own, and they do not necessarily reflect those of Camp or anyone connected to Camp. And since you?re asking, yes, she?s a fictional character. Well, you asked. Would you like to respond to Francine or give her a tip on something that may be of interest? E-mail her at francine@askfrancine.com.
Slane Irish Whiskey bottles
Whiskey has been hitting the shelves left and right lately taking up aisles and aisles. All good things if you ask me. I took a quick trip out to Atlanta for a review of Slane Irish Whiskey. I know what you’re thinking. Atlanta and Irish Whiskey? I was waiting for the connection but there wasn’t one, except for the people I met but let’s start from the beginning, shall we?
Visiting a Garden That Gives Back to the Community
The garden at A Sip of Paradise
Photo courtesy of A Sip of Paradise
The first thing on the list is to visit a place called A Sip of Paradise. This non-profit garden space caters to bartenders and people in the hospitality industry. It’s a place where everyone can gather for specific events, help maintain the garden, borrow from the garden, and create a sense of community. It’s a safe space where you can recharge the body, mind, and soul through gardening and health and wellness programs and so much more.
As the day unfolded, we learned how the garden space was created, why it was created, and how it thrives. Anyone in the hospitality industry can tell you that it is sometimes grueling hard work. It takes a toll on the body, mind, and at times, the spirit. Walking among the various plants and flowers, you get a sense of grounding. You take care of and nurture these plants so they will grow and thrive in the sultry weather. You leave your troubles behind as your focus turns to the garden, the people, and the stories they share.
As luck would have it, it poured down rain and we couldn’t go out and weed the garden. Then the rain stopped. Then it started again. Then finally, it stopped. During the rain, we huddled together under pop-up tents and shared stories and cocktails. We learned the stories of a few members and we learned how they give back to the community that has helped them along the way.
This. This is the connection. Slane Irish Whiskey (and company) is long rooted in community, music, sustainability, and a yearning for leaving the world a better place than they found it. Cliche, I know. But the work that A Sip of Paradise does on a daily basis is the same work Slane Distillery is doing. Building a legacy.
These people are more than mere bartenders, mixologists, and drink slingers. There were trailblazers and celebrities in their own right. They were are giving back. They were are making a difference. All the while making amazing cocktails.
A Sip of Paradise’s principles are easy. Come together as a community. Partake in the care of the garden space, take what you need, and give what you can.
Inside the Epicurean Hotel Atlanta
Epicurean Hotel Atlanta
Photo courtesy of Epicurean Hotel Atlanta, Autograph Collection by Marriott
I was staying in the heart of Midtown Atlanta at the Epicurean Hotel. This isn’t your typical run-of-the-mill hotel–it’s a food-themed boutique hotel. Instead of checking in at the front desk or speaking with a concierge person, you actually check in at the host desk inside the first-floor restaurant called Reverence. Upon checking in, you’re offered your choice of a complimentary beer or glass of wine. (impressed already).
Each floor is food themed. I happened to be staying on the Pinot Noir floor. Fitting I know. I have the sense that it didn’t matter what floor I was on! The room was great and wouldn’t you know, there was a bar with snacks. Not one of those tiny little minibars, but a full-on wall dedicated to all things booze. There were shelves with wine on them, spirits, and snacks. Some were complimentary so as I sipped my complimentary wine, I had some snacks as I relaxed and pretended to get some work done before meeting the group downstairs.
Reverence is the main restaurant where you not only dine and drink, but this is where I checked into my hotel. It’s an open kitchen concept with plenty of seating in and around the kitchen. Elegantly designed and decorated to make you feel right at home.
If you want a bit more casual, you can head to Aerial Kitchen and Bar situated next to the swimming pool and cabanas. Seating is like sitting in your familiar backyard and hanging out with friends. The open concept means you’re sitting outside enjoying the weather.
If you’re not quite ready for dining, you can head over to The Office Bar and cocktails. Don’t worry, if you do end up getting hungry, you can order from the eclectic menu.
Perhaps the shining jewel of the hotel would be the cooking theater. The Epicurean Theatre is built for demonstrations, teachings, or any group event where you can learn various cooking techniques.
There’s a Sky Terrance where you can take in the views of Atlanta’s skyline or just lounge around on the large lawn space taking a break from work, or perhaps you’re working remotely. It’s a perfect setting to do that.
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Cooking Demonstrations with Whiskey Pairings
Chef preparing for his cooking demonstration at the Epicurean Theatre
Photo credit of Joe Eats World
Most of the amazing people we met in the garden were attending the dinner along with a few local writers, bloggers, and fellow lovers of food. One of the Slane Irish Whiskey Ambassadors was there to give us a bit more history on Slane Distillery.
Slane Irish Whiskey is triple distilled and triple casked using virgin barrels, seasoned barrels, and sherry. Slane works on sustainability, renewable energy, and a lower carbon footprint. Toss in the whiskey, music, and oh, a rebuilt Irish Castle and you get some pretty amazing history. The castle is used for tours, weddings, and music venues. Some of the biggest names in music have either visited or played at the castle.
Our dinner was a paring of three different expressions of Slane’s whiskey. Dinner was a four-course experience where we feasted on chilled half-shell oysters, hot and sour pork belly bao buns, scallops n grits, and orange-cured summer peaches. We finished off the evening with another Slane Irish Whiskey coffee old fashioned. Honestly, I didn’t think I was going to sleep that night but curiously, it wasn’t a problem.
Having Brunch Before Heading to the Airport
The James Room entrance
Photo courtesy of Joe Eats World
The next day we set out for The James Room. Their website opens with We’re a Vibe and I have to agree. We were told about The James Room but upon arriving and walking through the glass doors, you’re taken aback because we were supposed to have cocktails and brunch with Tiffanie Barriere. Instead what I walked into was a coffee and pastry shop with a few tables to either side of me and a coffee counter directly ahead. Intriguing.
As we were talking, one of our new friends came walking through one of the side doors and asked us to follow her. Blown away doesn’t even begin to describe what happened next. You know that point in Wizard of Oz when Dorothy walks around her house after the tornado and it’s filmed in Black and White and then she opens the door and walks outside into technicolor? That’s literally what happened to me. As the door opened, another world opened up.
The room was dimly lit in a perfect way, to my left was a very long wrap-around bar and behind (or in front, depending on how you’re standing) were various seating booths with velvet and leather seats. Words of welcome and greetings came from all around as we reunited with more of our friends from the garden.
As we were waiting for brunch, we stood around with cocktails of course, and chatted about the previous day's events when we were almost rained out of gardening! Once brunch was out of the way, it was time to get busy, we were there for an Irish coffee workshop after all. Obviously, we were going to be using Slane Whiskey as the main ingredient. We received a demo of how the Irish coffee is built and then we were on our own to recreate said coffee. We all did pretty well if you ask me but then again, it was 10:30 in the morning and we were already on cocktail two or three and we were flying out in a few hours.
It was a whirlwind event. In less than 24 hours, I met some of the most amazing humans, had some amazing cocktails made from Slane Irish Whiskey of course, ate some absolutely delicious food, and at noon I was on my way back to the airport. My only regret is that the events didn’t last longer. It was definitely not enough time to explore and experience the wonders that Atlanta’s food scene and cocktail scenes have to offer. Especially that hotel. My God, that hotel.
One More Whiskey Tasting After I Return to Chicago
Irish Coffee using Slane Irish Whiskey
Photo courtesy of Joe Eats World
Fast forward a few weeks later as I’m back home in Chicago, I get invited to a dinner and whiskey tasting for Slane. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to make the dinner but I did get a chance to hang out a The Kerryman and experience blending my own whiskey and tasting even more Slane Irish Whiskey concoctions. We laughed about the rainstorm in Atlanta and talked about how amazing the people were, how good the food was, and how we went through A LOT of whiskey. One of the reps from a GlenDronach Scotch and Cheese pairing event I attended was there and we talked about how amazing everything there was.
If you’re a whiskey fan, you should do yourself a favor and pick up a bottle or 2 of Slane’s. They’re making some pretty good stuff. Even though they’re a young-ish company, they have some great things on the horizon.
This post was originally published on Joe Eats World
B37 Massage Gun Review
A massage gun is a great way to relieve tension in specific muscles. We can do it from the comfort of our own couches while watching TV. The benefits of a massage gun can help you feel relaxed, feel calmer, improve circulation, and can relieve stress and tension throughout your body. It’s no wonder that we seek out full-body massages whenever we can.
B37 Massage Gun ReviewPhoto courtesy of Erkin AthleticsI would love to say that I work out so much that a massage gun helps me loosen up the tight muscles from lifting all those weights. The truth is, I have pulled a muscle in my next twice just from shampooing my hair…Or there was that time I turned around in my chair awkwardly and pulled a muscle in my back. That actually happened the day before I got the massage gun to review luckily, the battery had a partial charge to it and I had my first opportunity to test it out.
First, let me introduce to you the B37 Massage Gun by Erkin Athletics…
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What is the B37 Massage Gun?
Four Attachments for the B37 Massage Gun
The B37 Massage Gun is an ergonomic and percussive therapy machine. The handle sits at a 15° angle which helps lessen arm fatigue. The handle is also designed so that you can reach the hard-to-reach places that normally would require another person to assist.
Features
- 5-speeds: the variable speed ranges from 1,400 to 3,200 RPMs. The lower speeds let you warm up your muscles and work through any sensitive muscles.
- 4 attachments: There are four different types of attachments you can use to work your muscles.
- Flat: The flat attachment is perfect for overall massaging
- Bullet: The bullet is great for zeroing in on specific knots, and is also perfect for hands and feet.
- Round Foam Ball: the foam attachment works best for all larger muscle groups
- Fork: this attachment is specifically designed for the neck and spine.
- Power: the massage gun delivers up to 56 pounds of stall force. What is stall force? Stall force is the amount of pressure you can apply to a massage gun before the motor stalls.
- 8-Hour Battery: The Samsung Lithium-ion battery provides plenty of power so you can really work out those knots. If you’re on the go, you won’t need to worry about recharging or running down the battery prematurely.
- Travel Case: Take your charged, or uncharged, B37 Massage Gun with you in the handy travel case that organizes everything neatly.
How Do You Use the B37 Massage Gun?
According to the information on their website, you should
- Turn the massage gun on before placing it on your body.
- Use speeds 1 - 3 for any muscle recovery and for speeds 4 and 5 for a soothing massage or pre-workout muscle warm-up.
- Glide the massage gun over the muscles and let the gun do the work. Apply pressure for added muscle relief.
- Breathe and relax and let the machine do the work. (in other words, if you’re tense, the massage will not work.)
Another step I would add is to make sure you know which attachment you need before you even begin step 1. This way, you don’t just turn it on, start massaging, and then realize you need a different attachment.
What I Liked About the B37 Massage Gun
What I love about the B37 Massage Gun
Photo by Tyler Nix on UnsplashPower
There’s always the chance that you get a product that just doesn’t perform. I kind of knew that this was not the case when I turned on the B37. You could feel the power when you were holding it. In fact, it was so powerful I had it on the lowest setting and barely applied any pressure to my sore back. After a few swipes, I felt better.
Attachments
The attachments are great and my two favorites are the foam ball and the flat attachment. They really promote muscle relaxation and work pretty well for me. To be honest, the fork scares me a little plus, I can’t really reach. I haven’t used the bullet yet because the foam ball and flat piece work great for me. Did I mention that they’re so easy to change too? You just pop them in or out—that simple.
Battery
Aside from the handy case, the battery is third in line because well, sometimes, you just forget to charge things. Hello, headsets anyone? I can use the massager for an hour or so and then put it away and use it another day.
What I Don’t Like About the B37 Massage Gun
What I didn't like about the B37 Massage Gun
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash
Noise
It's fine when you are on the lower settings but when you get up to the higher settings, it gets a little noisy. Especially if you’re watching TV. If I need that much work on my muscles, I probably shouldn’t be sitting in front of the TV anyway. The lower settings work just fine for my muscles.
Weight
Also not a deal killer, but it has some heft to it. While the 15° handle does help with arm fatigue and wrist exhaustion, it’s still there especially if you have a particular knot to work out. Usually, I switch hands if possible or take a break here and there.
Is the B37 Massage Gun Worth the Price?
Prices for massage guns can vary and the B37 Massage Gun is decently priced compared to other massage guns. Considering the quality of the massage gun, all of the features, AND a lifetime warranty, I think it’s well worth the price.
Should You Buy the B37 Massage Gun?
Massage guns are perfect for anyone that is an endurance athlete, an avid weightlifter, or anyone suffering from tight muscles. The National Institute of Mental Health also discusses practicing self-care by using relaxing activities such as muscle relaxation. The institute also mentions using relaxing techniques for managing stress.
I would recommend the massage gun for anyone dealing with sore muscles and who may need relaxation in general.
What to Look for in a Massage Gun?
Speed and Power
When you are searching for a massage gun, you want to look for a gun that offers a range of speed and that has enough power to handle the stall force.
Size and Weight
Part of what I didn’t like about the B37 was the weight. It was a little heavy, especially for one-handed massaging. That’s why you need to make sure that the weight isn’t going to be too cumbersome and at the same time, it isn't too flimsy. There is no way around it but if you have a powerful gun, it’s going to be heavy or heavier. The size is a factor too. If it’s too large, it’ll seem awkward; if it’s too small, it just won’t get the job done.
Portability
Chances are, you’re going to want to take the gun with you. Having a nice travel case will make that a lot easier. You will want or need, something compact enough for those road trips and flights. Just don’t forget the charger.
Attachments
Attachments make life and working out the kinks so much easier. While I really only use two, I can see where the four come in handy. Depending on how often you will use one, I would say a minimum of two attachments.